littleblackheart Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Thank you. We spoke this morning and this was our convo. Her : Some emotican with a sleepy face Me: I just realized that the restaurant opens at 5pm ( We planned on meeting at 2pm. So, I decided to find a different restaurant in the area to go to). Me : Let's go to this restaurant. (I sent her a screenshot of it. It's another restaurant that she likes) Her : You wanna leave this for another day? NYE is a busy day. Her: And your family is cooking right? Me : On what days will you have free time? Her: Sunday Her: Idk about next week yet Her: I'll tell you about my availability for next week on saturday or sunday. Any red flags? What should I do to keep her interested for the next couple of days? No red flags. She told you she'd let you know what her availability is. Let her do that. If she says nothing by Sunday morning, give her gentle reminder (still okay for today ). If nothing happens, chuck it down to experience and realise that it wasn't you. Best of luck 1
Author cbplayer Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 No red flags. She told you she'd let you know what her availability is. Let her do that. If she says nothing by Sunday morning, give her gentle reminder (still okay for today ). If nothing happens, chuck it down to experience and realise that it wasn't you. Best of luck What should I do in the meantime to keep her interested?
littleblackheart Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 What should I do in the meantime to keep her interested? Not much, because you haven't had confirmation of an actual date yet. This is just advice by the way, so if this isn't something you're happy with, don't feel like you have to follow it to the letter; It's not like it's a rule book or anything so feel free to adapt according to your circumstances / your intuition. What I personally do before any meet-up (romantic or otherwise) is to let people know I'm on my way a few minutes before the meet-up out of politeness: it reassures the person that you are actually going to turn up, and it gives them an opportunity to either tell you where they're at (already there, a bit late, whatever) or simply cancel at the last minute / bail, in which case no embarrassment is suffered, and everyone resumes their day like nothing's happened. That's me though - you don't have to do it if you think it's going to play on your mind... Relax a little, and Happy New Year
Author cbplayer Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 (edited) Not much, because you haven't had confirmation of an actual date yet. This is just advice by the way, so if this isn't something you're happy with, don't feel like you have to follow it to the letter; It's not like it's a rule book or anything so feel free to adapt according to your circumstances / your intuition. What I personally do before any meet-up (romantic or otherwise) is to let people know I'm on my way a few minutes before the meet-up out of politeness: it reassures the person that you are actually going to turn up, and it gives them an opportunity to either tell you where they're at (already there, a bit late, whatever) or simply cancel at the last minute / bail, in which case no embarrassment is suffered, and everyone resumes their day like nothing's happened. That's me though - you don't have to do it if you think it's going to play on your mind... Relax a little, and Happy New Year For whatever reason she had, she stopped replying to my texts two days ago. I texted her saying " what are you up to boo". The next morning I texted her saying " Good morning, you disappeared lol". Then that night I said "Whats your schedule going to me like next week". This morning I noticed that she added pics to her instragram, which means that her phone was working and she had probably already seen my texts. I got a little pissed and said " Can you explain to me why you randomly stopped answering? Whatever the reason is I'd appreciate it if you were to be honest with me". Two hours later I said " If you don't reply, I'll assume you're not interested and I won't text you again". Her : I was at the movies and went home and then fell asleep I thought that was a totally invalid explanation. Me : I had the impression that we were getting along pretty well. Are you still interested? Her : So,so 50 50 Me : Why? What happened? Her : Nothing much. I'm just not very enthusiastic Her : I don't know you yet. Me : How about we meet at that restaurant and see how things go? Her : Yes Her: I'm free monday, tuesday,wednesday, and sunday She agreed to meet up. So, I guess there's hope? I feel pretty defeated. What do you guys make of this? Edited January 4, 2015 by cbplayer
littleblackheart Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 For whatever reason she had, she stopped replying to my texts two days ago. I texted her saying " what are you up to boo". The next morning I texted her saying " Good morning, you disappeared lol". Then that night I said "Whats your schedule going to me like next week". This morning I noticed that she added pics to her instragram, which means that her phone was working and she had probably already seen my texts. I got a little pissed and said " Can you explain to me why you randomly stopped answering? Whatever the reason is I'd appreciate it if you were to be honest with me". Two hours later I said " If you don't reply, I'll assume you're not interested and I won't text you again". Her : I was at the movies and went home and then fell asleep I thought that was a totally invalid explanation. Me : I had the impression that we were getting along pretty well. Are you still interested? Her : So,so 50 50 Me : Why? What happened? Her : Nothing much. I'm just not very enthusiastic Her : I don't know you yet. Me : How about we meet at that restaurant and see how things go? Her : Yes Her: I'm free monday, tuesday,wednesday, and sunday She agreed to meet up. So, I guess there's hope? I feel pretty defeated. What do you guys make of this? Unless I read this wrong, it looks like you sent her quite a few messages without giving her a chance to answer back. She's not duty-bound to reply to you the second she receives your texts, and is free to reply whenever she feels like it. She's also free not to reply, if that's what she wants to do. She doesn't really owe you anything at this point, given that, as she clearly pointed out, she doesn't know you. What I would suggest you do is agree to a time and place that are suitable to the two of you, hold the texts and wait until you see each other in person once you get confirmation of a date. Good luck
Author cbplayer Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 Unless I read this wrong, it looks like you sent her quite a few messages without giving her a chance to answer back. She's not duty-bound to reply to you the second she receives your texts, and is free to reply whenever she feels like it. She's also free not to reply, if that's what she wants to do. She doesn't really owe you anything at this point, given that, as she clearly pointed out, she doesn't know you. What I would suggest you do is agree to a time and place that are suitable to the two of you, hold the texts and wait until you see each other in person once you get confirmation of a date. Good luck She agreed to a date. We'll be meeting tomorrow. Any last minute advice about how to conduct myself during the date?
littleblackheart Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 She agreed to a date. We'll be meeting tomorrow. Any last minute advice about how to conduct myself during the date? If you go back and read the posts on this thread, you'll see that you've already received advice on this from various posters. Keep it light-hearted, get a feel for what she wants and is comfortable with and above all, enjoy yourself and her company; getting to know someone new is always a bit daunting, but also always a privilege. Best of luck
Author cbplayer Posted January 7, 2015 Author Posted January 7, 2015 If you go back and read the posts on this thread, you'll see that you've already received advice on this from various posters. Keep it light-hearted, get a feel for what she wants and is comfortable with and above all, enjoy yourself and her company; getting to know someone new is always a bit daunting, but also always a privilege. Best of luck So, we actually met and we talked for approximately an hour. I made her laugh a couple of times. Towards the end of the date, I asked her if she would like to go to an African restaurant with me and she said she would love to. So, as we hugged as we were parting ways and said that she can't wait until next time. Then, she texted me Her : Nice to finally meet you! Her : Thank god for the bus! It would have been harder to get home if I didn't catch it! Me : Nice to meet you too! Me : I know what you mean !!! lol Since that day( two days ago) she hasn't been replying to me. I sent 1 or 2 texts since then. Red flag? Why would she do this smh? So much nonsense smh.
littleblackheart Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 So, we actually met and we talked for approximately an hour. I made her laugh a couple of times. Towards the end of the date, I asked her if she would like to go to an African restaurant with me and she said she would love to. So, as we hugged as we were parting ways and said that she can't wait until next time. Then, she texted me Her : Nice to finally meet you! Her : Thank god for the bus! It would have been harder to get home if I didn't catch it! Me : Nice to meet you too! Me : I know what you mean !!! lol Since that day( two days ago) she hasn't been replying to me. I sent 1 or 2 texts since then. Red flag? Why would she do this smh? So much nonsense smh. Seems like it went well . She initiated contact after your date, which is promising. Have you set up an actual date for the African restaurant? If not, that's what you should do. Also, why don't you just call her on the phone? Should be okay now that you know her, no?
Author cbplayer Posted January 8, 2015 Author Posted January 8, 2015 Seems like it went well . She initiated contact after your date, which is promising. Have you set up an actual date for the African restaurant? If not, that's what you should do. Also, why don't you just call her on the phone? Should be okay now that you know her, no? I'll call her but isn't it a red flag that she hasn't texted me back for 2 days?
littleblackheart Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 I'll call her but isn't it a red flag that she hasn't texted me back for 2 days? 2 days isn't that long in the great scheme of things. Maybe she's waiting for you to confirm that date? Either way, you'll never know if you don't call her. Good luck
Jono85 Posted January 8, 2015 Posted January 8, 2015 my advice... listen man...you need some sense knocked into you about "text game". the fact that she still met up with you after that crash and burn rant you went on about why she isn't texting back, and how you thought you were getting on good, etc, is nothing short of a minor miracle. STOP DOUBLE TEXTING GIRLS. double texting is 2 consecutive texts. STOP IT NOW. it's seriously needy. you CAN do it, but maybe like a day or 2 later and then if she doesn't respond to that, DONE. move on. you're seriously gonna creep girls out with the way you text. never ask girls whether you got on good, or did you do something to screw up, etc. NO. always have the mentality that although you enjoy talking to her, it's her loss if she stops or doesn't reply and you don't need flaky girls in your life. you have to be ready to ditch girls and move to another girl if you haven't built up a lot of face to face time with her. you're acting like this girl is crazy important and your confidence/success depends on her. this mentality will get you nowhere. again, no more double texting (unless it's days after and you want to give her one more chance). also, NO GUILTING GIRLS. NEVER. although you may be hurt, and think they were out of line, or should have texted you back sooner, whatever, guilting her about it will end things very quickly. she doesn't HAVE to be interested in you. if she doesn't want to reply to your text, even if you THINK things have been going well, she doesn't have to. the end. you have a lot to learn. right now it's very easy for a girl to sense you're insecure, have no confidence, are desperate, and low-value. not cool.
Author cbplayer Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 my advice... listen man...you need some sense knocked into you about "text game". the fact that she still met up with you after that crash and burn rant you went on about why she isn't texting back, and how you thought you were getting on good, etc, is nothing short of a minor miracle. STOP DOUBLE TEXTING GIRLS. double texting is 2 consecutive texts. STOP IT NOW. it's seriously needy. you CAN do it, but maybe like a day or 2 later and then if she doesn't respond to that, DONE. move on. you're seriously gonna creep girls out with the way you text. never ask girls whether you got on good, or did you do something to screw up, etc. NO. always have the mentality that although you enjoy talking to her, it's her loss if she stops or doesn't reply and you don't need flaky girls in your life. you have to be ready to ditch girls and move to another girl if you haven't built up a lot of face to face time with her. you're acting like this girl is crazy important and your confidence/success depends on her. this mentality will get you nowhere. again, no more double texting (unless it's days after and you want to give her one more chance). also, NO GUILTING GIRLS. NEVER. although you may be hurt, and think they were out of line, or should have texted you back sooner, whatever, guilting her about it will end things very quickly. she doesn't HAVE to be interested in you. if she doesn't want to reply to your text, even if you THINK things have been going well, she doesn't have to. the end. you have a lot to learn. right now it's very easy for a girl to sense you're insecure, have no confidence, are desperate, and low-value. not cool. Thank you for your advice. I just wanted to say that I don't normally double text women. I know that it's bad. I honestly double texted her out of desperation,which I know was a mistake. A lot times when I'm texting girls and I am adhering to the principles of not double texting, keeping my texts short, not texting back too quickly, I find that women still ignore my texts at alarming rates. If you could help me get to the bottom of that, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Author cbplayer Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 I texted her and asked if she wanted to meet again. Eventually she told me that she's no interested unfortunately. Are there any good books that you guys recommend for dating women?
JonjMie Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Mate you need to calm it all down a bit, your making yourself into a nervous guy who's just going to crack up. Do what you have been doing, ask a girl out, go on the date, have a nice time, if you like her then ask her on another date when you get home by text. It's a numbers game and the more you date the better you will get, don't act desperate just have a nice time.
Author cbplayer Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Mate you need to calm it all down a bit, your making yourself into a nervous guy who's just going to crack up. Do what you have been doing, ask a girl out, go on the date, have a nice time, if you like her then ask her on another date when you get home by text. It's a numbers game and the more you date the better you will get, don't act desperate just have a nice time. I'm trying to not be too anxious but I'm just getting frustrated by my constant rejection. I've never had sex with a girl, nor have I had a girlfriend, nor have I even made out with a girl before and 21 years old and I'll soon be graduating from college. I feel like if I don't get a girl now, I'll never be able to. I just don't want to be forever alone.
JonjMie Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 I'm trying to not be too anxious but I'm just getting frustrated by my constant rejection. I've never had sex with a girl, nor have I had a girlfriend, nor have I even made out with a girl before and 21 years old and I'll soon be graduating from college. I feel like if I don't get a girl now, I'll never be able to. I just don't want to be forever alone. You won't be, I promise you just not your time yet. I'm 47 and had two marriages and lived with two other women, I'm on my own at the moment but until you like who you are you will come across desperate and you'll make it worse.
Jono85 Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Thank you for your advice. I just wanted to say that I don't normally double text women. I know that it's bad. I honestly double texted her out of desperation,which I know was a mistake. A lot times when I'm texting girls and I am adhering to the principles of not double texting, keeping my texts short, not texting back too quickly, I find that women still ignore my texts at alarming rates. If you could help me get to the bottom of that, I'd greatly appreciate it. we all have that problem, you're not unique. the truth is, it is hard to capture a girls attention unless you've made a positive impact on them face-to-face. so your objective, as others mentioned, is to hang out with her. but you really need to scale back the desperateness, b/c it is obvious. you have to be prepared to be okay alone, and have no girls to text/talk with. if a girl is not respecting you by not replying to your texts, or flakes when you try to meet up with her, you delete her contact. you're only 21, don't make things into this huge deal. start getting out there and meeting people. maybe join some clubs at school, or co-ed sports leagues, etc. maybe practise just talking to girls in public such as retail sales girls, or servers, etc. as mentioned, it's a numbers game. since my ex girlfriend 2+ years ago, i've been on like 2 dates. i've purposely focused on improving my situation/career. it hasn't been easy not interacting with many girls during this time, but as mentioned by previous poster, it helps to to become comfortable and confident with who you are. you seem to have things going for you, just continue meeting new girls and you're bound to find one you click with. but you def need to stop driving girls away with your attention/validation seeking/insecure/obssesive /needy type of vibe. you don't need any of these girls attention; it's their loss if they don't take the opportunity to get to know you.
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