bhavok Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Here's the situation-- 19 years old. Female. Strangers say I am beautiful, but I do not get the phrase 'I am beautiful' on a regular basis. I have only been called beautiful by one guy before, but he was way older than me nor did he even know me. I am mildly shy (not overly). I go to a tiny liberal arts college (around 2,000 people). There are slightly more guys than girls at the liberal arts college that I currently attend. I have joined some clubs and I know everyone in my residence hall. I have to admit that most of the guys at the college seem a little douchey (maybe because of the emphasis on greek life). There is a small percentage of guys that are non douchey. I didn't date in high school. When I came to college, I never really clicked with the student body here that well, I thought about transferring, but I've built up a decent social circle, and I know some guys, but none of them seem to have interest in me romantically/sexually. Most guys either are already in relationships with someone from high school, are single and only want to hook up, or are in a long term relationship with someone at the college (this is rare though) who is not me. I have never been to a party (I am not really a partier) and no guy has ever wanted to hook up with me. I am in no way interested in greek life. Ultimately, I would love to be in a long term relationship. I do not leave campus that often because the surrounding college area is not really safe. The city outside of the college area is pretty nice but since it is about 20 minutes away from my college, I am not able to visit the city that often. I do not have a car yet (although I could take a taxi to places). I am only able to go to the mall by a shuttle. So I feel like there is almost no hope in terms of meeting guys off campus. I've kind of given up on dating here in general, but I'm confused and frustrated that I am possibly spending four years surrounded by people my age and had no luck with guys at all. I feel like I am too young to join online dating websites (I am not against online dating but my parents are). Yet, I do not want to be old and alone without any experience of being in a relationship. People tell me that finding love is all about luck-being at the right place at the right time, and I feel so unlucky when it comes to love. Did anyone else have this experience in college? Any theories?
WonderWoman911 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 I didn't have this experience in college,but I can say that sometimes when you don't look for a relationship,it just naturally comes to you. You're 19,so you're just starting college. The guys will eventually come, but don't lose focus of your purpose of attending college:YOUR EDUCATION. Also, whenever you meet a guy, don't allow yourself to lose focus on getting good grades in school.
SomeDude16 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Let's say you do want to meet a guy, where do you look?
Phoe Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 I am similar to you. I was single all 4 years of college and still for 2 years after graduating. For some, college is not a good time to be finding partners. I always recommend OLD, but I actually would advise you wait to try OLD until after college. Doing OLD as a college student may be difficult. I don't have any particular advice, but you're not alone! 1
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Do you have any friends in this social circle of yours? Tell them you would like to meet somebody. Friends can be a great source of expanding your network. Also do you seem friendly / approachable or do you come off like an ice queen? It's scary for a guy to get up the courage to ask a girl out. The fear of rejection is very real. So if you are not making it easy, that could be part of the problem. I am not suggesting that you become "easy" in the colloquial sexual sense of the word, but that you give a guy the sense that if he asks for a date your answer will be yes. You also say that you find may of the guys to be douchy & you don't care for Greek life. Fine. There are other outlets in college. Keep hunting for that club or group where you do fit. Also don't be afraid to ask the cute guy in class to study with you.
somedude81 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 I've kind of given up on dating here in general, but I'm confused and frustrated that I am possibly spending four years surrounded by people my age and had no luck with guys at all. I feel like I am too young to join online dating websites (I am not against online dating but my parents are). Yet, I do not want to be old and alone without any experience of being in a relationship. People tell me that finding love is all about luck-being at the right place at the right time, and I feel so unlucky when it comes to love. Did anyone else have this experience in college? Any theories? Take an activity class where there is lots of time to socialize. My favorite is dance classes such as Ballroom/Social Dance or Salsa. Classes like that will require you to rotate partners on a regular basis and you'll talk to lots of guys. Just be friendly and guys will be going out of their way to talk to you.
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