JonjMie Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 Looking ok doesn't make you happy. It just gives you more opportunity - a bigger pond to fish in. It's still your responsibility to throw back the bad fish. You have to be willing to walk away as soon as you see someone isn't a good guy. You have to not go by how he makes you feel or how he quells your loneliness, but instead choose a partner based on his honesty, integrity, respect, and kindness. The right guy will not only love that you read, but will come home with a book he knew you'd love when he saw it in a shop window. He'll believe he is the luckiest man in the world to have found you, and will be able to give and receive love. Don't settle for less! I wish this was true but I thought my ex was one in a million, honest, caring, not like other girls I've met, trusting as well, but even with these things people can have too much to deal with, baggage to dispose of and like my ex, divorce and two babies to bring up.
pteromom Posted January 7, 2015 Posted January 7, 2015 I wish this was true but I thought my ex was one in a million, honest, caring, not like other girls I've met, trusting as well, but even with these things people can have too much to deal with, baggage to dispose of and like my ex, divorce and two babies to bring up. That's true. Anyone can break. Even the most trustworthy and honest person might cheat and lie. Love is always a risk. But the odds are much lower if you look at a person's character and make a wise head-based choice. There are usually signs if someone is high-risk. They aren't bad only at romantic love, but usually have shattered family relationships, drama with friends, problems with money and assets, career instability, dishonesty in their dealings with companies, etc. You can't just be whisked away by the "love" someone makes you feel. You have to look at their entire life and decide if that life jibes with your own values and goals.
Author Lianalady Posted January 9, 2015 Author Posted January 9, 2015 Ok. Update. The other night the 'other' woman messaged me asking if i had been in contact with my ex! Wasn't sure what was happening so I eventually replied that I hadn't. A bit later I had a text from 'him' asking if we were still 'mates' and that he was 'struggling'. I was so dumbfounded. I text him back that I was sorry about his struggle but sort of concentrating on my own life. He sent a text saying he was sorry. They have split apparently and he is in a bad place. I know this is where I have to be strong and not collapse into a heap. Even knowing they're apart doesn't help like I thought it would. It makes me feel vulnerable. I can't believe he thought he could turn to me for support because he felt alone after everything that's happened.
ralfgarnett Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Hi Lian as expected and predicted the ball is now firmly in your court but he has no balls and a big hole in his raquett, take a deep breath sit back and relax, don't say or do anything to or with him until you know exactly what you want to say or do if ever, this is now about you, not him, not her, not them, not you and him, but you lovely Lian, you now have all the power and are the master of your own destiny that must be a nice feeling, you have the veto, you have power over him now, I can understand your vulnerability but make sure your not vulnerable and be prepared for that, let him suffer and lets hope she catches crabs that's if she hasn't got them already, good luck use your time wisely and please keep posting if you need to vent or need advice we will all be here for you, bon chance mon cheris xx. Edited January 9, 2015 by ralfgarnett
newlyborn Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Ok. Update. The other night the 'other' woman messaged me asking if i had been in contact with my ex! Wasn't sure what was happening so I eventually replied that I hadn't. A bit later I had a text from 'him' asking if we were still 'mates' and that he was 'struggling'. I was so dumbfounded. I text him back that I was sorry about his struggle but sort of concentrating on my own life. He sent a text saying he was sorry. They have split apparently and he is in a bad place. I know this is where I have to be strong and not collapse into a heap. Even knowing they're apart doesn't help like I thought it would. It makes me feel vulnerable. I can't believe he thought he could turn to me for support because he felt alone after everything that's happened. UGH!!! oh yuck, yuck, yuck. so, after what he has put you through, he wants to use you as a rebound to get over his rebound? remember his text telling you to "MOVE ON?" well, send it back to him and block him forever more. YUCK!!! 3
ralfgarnett Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 UGH!!! oh yuck, yuck, yuck. so, after what he has put you through, he wants to use you as a rebound to get over his rebound? remember his text telling you to "MOVE ON?" well, send it back to him and block him forever more. YUCK!!! agreed he does sound sleazy
elaine567 Posted January 9, 2015 Posted January 9, 2015 Ok. Update. The other night the 'other' woman messaged me asking if i had been in contact with my ex! Wasn't sure what was happening so I eventually replied that I hadn't. A bit later I had a text from 'him' asking if we were still 'mates' and that he was 'struggling'. I was so dumbfounded. I text him back that I was sorry about his struggle but sort of concentrating on my own life. He sent a text saying he was sorry. They have split apparently and he is in a bad place. I know this is where I have to be strong and not collapse into a heap. Even knowing they're apart doesn't help like I thought it would. It makes me feel vulnerable. I can't believe he thought he could turn to me for support because he felt alone after everything that's happened. YOU have to keep remembering what he put you through and forget about walks in the park, wild flower filled meadows and little birdies singing. The reality here, he is a user and dumped you uncermoniously as soon as someone else came on the scene. He will do it again and again and again if you let him. Take what you have learned in the past few weeks and be strong. Keep losers like that out of your life for good. 3
SoThatHappened Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I'd bet my paycheck that this guy comes running back to you, begging for forgiveness, in very little time... 6 months tops. Be grateful you got out of a relationship with a P.o.S., and it's all his fault. Told ya!!! Absolutely do NOT give that sh**-bum a damn thing! You are way above him. Tell him to F-off for the rest of his life and to never contact you again. Then... you can heal. 1
anne1707 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Stay strong Liana. If you let him back into your life, you will face the wrath of us LS posters who know you deserve better. He is a grown man who has created a mess for himself. Let him sort himself out. You concentrate on you and your family and friends who genuinely care about you ((hugs)) 1
Eighty_nine Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 This has to be hard for you, but stay strong. He'll do the same thing to you again if you let him.
Author Lianalady Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 Hey guys. I stayed strong. He got angry that 'I must have found someone else' and showed me yet again the time I have wasted. I'm still pretty lonely and tired of the whole small town gossip thing, but am enrolling in night school to study something (not sure what yet!) and am getting back into the swing of work. I appreciate the sound advice and love on here. X
anne1707 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 It's still early days Liana and it is bound to feel raw. As for the gossip, I am sure the negative stuff is all aimed at him and what an ar$e he is. The night school sounds like a really good idea - keeping busy helps but it also gets you out of the house and meeting new people. Enjoy!
JonjMie Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Hey guys. I stayed strong. He got angry that 'I must have found someone else' and showed me yet again the time I have wasted. I'm still pretty lonely and tired of the whole small town gossip thing, but am enrolling in night school to study something (not sure what yet!) and am getting back into the swing of work. I appreciate the sound advice and love on here. X Hey glad your feeling a bit better, was thinking about you yesterday, must be hard in your town.
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