kaylee_mackenzie09 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 About a yr ago my man & I started dating & we had come to the understanding that we are to talk freely about things good terrifying or otherwise & to stay faithful and if that is difficult we need to talk and then reevaluate. Life was going perfect, I constantly walked around proud to be his girlfriend. I've been faithful, I don't nag at him, I think of him when I am out, the house is always clean & in a stress free environment for him, I've helped him when finances got rough for him, I'm laid back & I don't get into his or anyone's business. He's always been positive to me & always tells me I'm a great girlfriend & he's glad to be with me. About 3 weeks ago I got a message from a friend of his saying he had been playing the single card & was trying to hook up with her. It had went on for about a month and she said nothing happened, because they lived in different states and she didn't believe he was single. He denied it being true, said he couldn't believe a friend would do that to him & promised on his kids lives none of it was true. I was provided with a screen shot of a conversation of theirs where he does state he HAD a girlfriend. He said that was not a recent conversation. It was a few years ago before him and I. Thinking back to months leading up to, there was some things that seemed "not quite right". Things like there for awhile he would get lost in his phone and was constantly on it. I'd come near and he'd sit it screen down where I couldn't see anything. His phone would buzz & he'd snatch it up, he'd be typing away and with a huge smile on his face. I heard FaceTime go off in the shower one night. She told me they tried facetiming while he showered once and told me to check for Skype on his Xbox to which he did have & uninstalled in front of me. He said a lengthy friendship with someone he thought was his friend is NOT worth potentially loosing me. He said a few different times that he Swore on his kids' lives that he wasn't doing anything inappropriate & never had planned on leaving me, ever. Since then I have felt unimportant, not nearly as attractive, pushed to the side & it's not because he has done or said anything of the nature per say, I keep telling myself to distance myself because I am not what he wants obviously, although he and I are still together. I get to thinking about what she told me and it kills me to think someone i trusted and love soooo damn much could of possibly done that or spoke to another how she said he had. Part of me wants to believe him and part of me wants to believe her. He stands by his word of denying it ever happened. What do I do?
WonderWoman911 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Its definitely time to confront him and reevaluate your relationship with him. It's clearly evident that he's hiding something and being truly deceptive about something. He's displaying sneaky behaviors when it comes to being on his cell phone. Constantly hiding it from you when you come near, smiling while on it,taking the phone while in the shower,etc. Please don't be naïve about this. Just from these things you mentioned, you know something isn't right at all. And as for him saying he swear on his kids, that's foolishness. I've heard people swear to God and lie. I would just approach him and ask him if he's involved with anyone in any way;emotional or physical. And as far as his "friend", I wonder why she constantly communicate with him if she knows he's in a relationship.
Danda Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Eh, this sucks. The friend is either not that bright or is trying to cause problems. It really isn't that difficult to get solid proof before trying to gently wake someone up to how they're being betrayed. She should be able to show you the conversations on her phone/laptop/whatever. Have you politely asked her to show you this proof and see how she responds to your request? Her response could tell you a whole hell of a lot.
Ebelskiver Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Having been in the same place you are now........he is definitely sending feelers out for some hanky panky. The phone actions are what sneaky liars do. Who else acts like that around their phone unless they have something to hide? He likely didn't get the opportunity to cheat, but he would have. Is this break up level stuff? Only you know the answer to that. But to move past it he needs to admit what he was doing, show remorse, and be transparent (you get the passcodes to phone, email, xbox). Trust your intuition. Too often women talk themselves out of what they know to be true because they don't want to believe it themselves, it hurts too much. If it walks like a duck.......
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