thinkingguy Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 I am new to this board so i will give you a quick rundown on my past and my situation. I am a 20 year old male who is not extremely experienced dating. I had one highschool relationship that lasted about 4 months. I also while in college have had 1 relationship that just ended after over a year and a half. This last relationship lasted about a month ago. I have never been the type of guy to go out and meet girls and "hookup" or whatever. That is just not my personality. I am a little reserved, but have started to come out of my shell. I recently hooked up with a girl that i had just met a few days before. We had been hanging out some on a trip and one thing led to another. Well she gave me her number and told me she really wants me to call her. I do not want a relatonship right now b/c i am emotionally tired from the last one. I also am not completely over my ex but i am getting there. I dont think its fair to the other person if you are still battling feelings over your ex while at the same time trying to date them. I am unexperienced so i am struggling with how to deal with this. I really enjoy hanging out with this girl. She is cool and her personality of being really outgoing suits me well. She is also very different than all of the girls i have dated. She is a wilder girl who likes to party, while i usually go for the "good" girls who do not do that type of thing. My question is just how to deal with this situation. I really want to hang out with this girl, but i do not want a relationship. I really dont know how she feels b/c i havent talked with her about that yet. She could possibly want the same thing but i dont know.
EC Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 My question is just how to deal with this situation. I really want to hang out with this girl, but i do not want a relationship. I really dont know how she feels b/c i havent talked with her about that yet. She could possibly want the same thing but i dont know. Sounds like you just want to have fun right now..and shes a fun girl. Problem solved! But seriously, I also am not completely over my ex but i am getting there. I dont think its fair to the other person if you are still battling feelings over your ex while at the same time trying to date them How do you know your not over her unless you date other girls? Like my family used to tell me in spanish "Un clavo saca al otro" Which mean one nail takes out another nail. I say hang out with her for a while. go out party with her, have fun, dont think so much about it. If it does come up and you seem to be getting more serious talk about it then..but one thing I learned dont be afraid of it. DOnt let your other bad experiences hold you back from the beautiful things that life is throwing at you.
elle naturelle Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 You seem very open and mature for your age. Keep it at a REAL level by telling her what you told us, take it slow and .... they, you never know. Good LUCK
Author thinkingguy Posted March 24, 2005 Author Posted March 24, 2005 Yeah i want to hang out with her, however there is one thing that bothers me. I am a religous guy. I only drink occasionally, and when i do its just one or two. I dont drink to get wasted, sometimes i just do it socially. This is not gonna change. I could go out and party with her, but she would be the one getting wasted while i just sit back and relax. I guess this is ok but i dont know. This is part of the reason why i have not given the "party" type girls a chance. This was probably a little shallow of me, but ive realized it and i have changed that. Not drinking is one of the weirdest things to do in college. It seems as though everyone is getting hammered except me. This is just one of the decisions that i have made in my life.
elle naturelle Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 Never change your ideals to appease another person. Good for you for not falling into that... you will be much better off. Did you know that Trump doesnt drink, or anything, ever?! The choices you make are for you and you are right in setting out desirable qualities you wish to see inpeople that surround you. You have to comfortable in your environment, and it seems that you can make that happen with or without drinkers and drinking. There are many people that are on your page and do not need to drink to have a good time. All this coming from one the biggest EX partiers in Vancouver, Canada. Stick with what works. Enjoy everyones company. But do not expect someone to change habits.... I think you know what to do.
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