GoldRush Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 The guy I was 'casually' seeing for 2 months sacked me off last Weds (via email). We messaged back and forth for a couple of days and then there was NC since Saturday. I told him it's his decision, I won't argue against it, no need for excessive communication at this point. He said - blah bah... let's be friends? I replied to his message to be polite but I remained silent on the subject of future friendship. This haunted me a little bit and then on Weds just gone I broke NC and sent him a poem I wrote, just to say, no hard feelings sort of thing. I feel kind of traumatised now as he hasn't bloody replied! Not even a couple of words to say thanks or merry xmas or whatever. And he was the one suggesting friendship only a few days earlier. Wtf? When I decided to go NC last week, I deleted his phone number, email address all emails etc. I realise now that I have deleted an email I sent him with a poem I wrote, and I don't think I have another copy of this poem anywhere. I wrote it on a scrap of paper I think, and then threw that away. So now, my only copy of it may be in his email inbox - if he hasn't deleted all my emails too. I want to kick myself, because now I want this bloody poem back. I was proud of that one, but how can I possibly email him and ask him for it, after he has failed to reply to my last email. It will look like I am begging for attention. Aaagh! What do I do??
Zahara Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 (edited) He didn't respond, it's tormenting you and now you're looking for an excuse to reach out again. Stop. Let it go. You sent your "best work" to some guy you were seeing casually for two months, then failed to even keep a copy? Even threw the scrap paper away? If it was that important to you, you would have saved it. I think you're looking for excuses to provoke a reaction/response from him. Edited December 26, 2014 by Zahara 2
coolheadal Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 Make an appointment and do what you have to do get what you seek back. Play the game to do it. Because your dealing with Ex NC and they love to be in control with you the Ex.
SycamoreCircle Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 Yeah, let it go. If it helps you to focus on losing the greatest thing you've ever written rather than the guy, consider the French author Jean Genet, whom I consider to be one of the most uniquely poetic writers of the last 100 years. He wrote "Our Lady of the Flowers" in prison. It was confiscated and burned. He rewrote it. 2
Author GoldRush Posted December 26, 2014 Author Posted December 26, 2014 Oh god, am I just looking for an excuse to contact him? How sad. Yes I had better leave it. Losing the poem must be preferable to losing my dignity. I love that example SycamoreCircle, thanks for that.
veggirl Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 The poem freaked him out. I'm sure of it. Probably came off way too heavy, no matter how carefree you may believe it to have been. Please don't contact him about this. You will look like you are chasing an excuse to talk to him. 2
Author GoldRush Posted December 26, 2014 Author Posted December 26, 2014 Bollocks. I bet it did. That is so annoying, I did so well when he first called it off. I saw it coming so had already initiated the nc, I didn't question or discuss it with him at all. Which wound him up actually and he had a right go at me. I really ballsed it up emailing him on weds. Eugh.
BC1980 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 When I decided to go NC last week, I deleted his phone number, email address all emails etc. I realise now that I have deleted an email I sent him with a poem I wrote, and I don't think I have another copy of this poem anywhere. I wrote it on a scrap of paper I think, and then threw that away. So now, my only copy of it may be in his email inbox - if he hasn't deleted all my emails too. Did you delete your sent mail? You should still have a copy of the email in your sent folder. If the poem was your best work, I'd copy it to two memory sticks, have a hard copy, and email it to myself.
Author GoldRush Posted December 27, 2014 Author Posted December 27, 2014 Yeah I deleted my sent mail, I checked the trash folder, it's definitely gone. It's not my best work, i just quite liked it. I think I did want an excuse to contact him, now a few days have passed the desire to not communicate with him is trumping the desire to get the poem back. Nc is getting easier. It's so strange how I sometimes have such a strong urge to contact, but then that feeling can dissipate completely if I don't cave in to it. 1
Elle1975 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Good thing that you didn't give in. The guy would have taken that as an excuse to contact him.
Author GoldRush Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 He has now emailed me. The last message was the poem I sent, 3 weeks ago, to which he didn't reply. He apologises for not being in touch and asks if I had a nice Christmas etc. What do I do? It gave me such a buzz to hear from him. He is still on my mind.
Zahara Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 He has now emailed me. The last message was the poem I sent, 3 weeks ago, to which he didn't reply. He apologises for not being in touch and asks if I had a nice Christmas etc. What do I do? It gave me such a buzz to hear from him. He is still on my mind. You do nothing. If contact has caused you to get a high, it's evident that you should stay NC. He took 3 weeks to respond to you. I have a feeling he waited 3 weeks to get your "feelings" to calm down and now that some time has passed, he feels things have tapered down on your part and he can now stroll in. 1
Author GoldRush Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Things have tapered down somewhat, but evidently not enough. Him strolling back in might not be so terrible?
Zahara Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Things have tapered down somewhat, but evidently not enough. Him strolling back in might not be so terrible? Things have not tapered down in terms of your emotions. You have expectations. He clearly doesn't feel the same way you do. Depending on what you want from this, then the decision is up to you. If you want a friendship, then you can open contact. But if you're getting excited about contact... The thing is, a man that ignored you for 3 weeks after you poured your heart out isn't someone you should be excited about. Christmas came and went, and 3 weeks later he wants to know if you have a nice one? He even ended with you over email. Move on from this. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Things have tapered down somewhat, but evidently not enough. Him strolling back in might not be so terrible? It would be terrible because you can't handle it. Look how excited a rudimentary email has gotten you. If he strolled in more you'd be back to writing love poems in no time. And it's clear that he has no interest in being in love with you. Like Zahara just said, he emailed you three weeks after Christmas asking about your Christmas? Yeah, he doesn't care nearly as much as you do, or as much as you want him to. 1
Author GoldRush Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 Looking back, you guys really helped save my dignity and helped me get over that guy quicker. Thank you SO much. I don't know what I ever saw in him. 1
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