Pastel Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 I haven't known him for very long (a month and a half at most) but we get along very well. He's in the military and will be leaving in a month for about six or seven months. He's expressed interest in leaving the military when he gets back and is working on getting separated. He is actively applying to schools around the country which leads me to believe this won't be a long-term thing. I've also decided to move out of state in a month or so to try to restart my life. I'm trying not to get too attached because of this, but he asked me to be official and I agreed because frankly not too many guys have expressed interest in wanting a relationship. It made me like him even more. But now I'm thinking that this is probably a mistake because long-distance relationships don't work! And I'm sure when he gets to school he'll want to be a free man anyway. He is young and hasn't experienced college after all. And I don't want to spend 7 months of my life in limbo waiting for him to possibly dump me the moment he gets back. I don't know how to brush the topic. Obviously I'd rather talk to him about it in person, but we don't have too many opportunities to see one another as it is. I understand he doesn't have a conventional job which means we can only see each other on weekends if I'm lucky, but the past weekend he cancelled on me because he wasn't feeling well. It's been a few weeks since we've seen each other and ugh, I don't know. I'm just confused about the entire thing. I know that I want to be his friend even if it doesn't work out. Am I just prolonging the inevitable!? Should I tell him we should just be friends? We haven't talked about the future at all, other than him wanting to be exclusive.
InsaneTrombone Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 Cut it off before you get seriously hurt. There is no happy ending with going through with this. When he comes back, if its still the right time, you two could try again. 1
cactusgal Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 he asked me to be official and I agreed because frankly not too many guys have expressed interest in wanting a relationship. That is an absolutely terrible reason to get into a relationship with someone. Seriously? 1
Author Pastel Posted December 26, 2014 Author Posted December 26, 2014 Cut it off before you get seriously hurt. There is no happy ending with going through with this. When he comes back, if its still the right time, you two could try again. Yeah you're right. I mean the relationship is still premature and I honestly haven't gotten attached to the point where I'd be too heartbroken if it didn't work out. And like I said I enjoy his company and I think we can get along as friends. 1
Author Pastel Posted December 26, 2014 Author Posted December 26, 2014 That is an absolutely terrible reason to get into a relationship with someone. Seriously? Before him I had another guy try to pressure me into a relationship. I wasn't comfortable with the whole thing and ended it. So obviously there's more to liking him than just him asking me out. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Tell him you would rather not do the whole LDR thing. Explain that you do like him & if you are both still free when he returns from deployment, to look you up but for now you would rather keep things casual. Meanwhile keep in touch while he's gone but date other people. See how you feel when he gets back. 1
okc85 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 Tell him you would rather not do the whole LDR thing. Explain that you do like him & if you are both still free when he returns from deployment, to look you up but for now you would rather keep things casual. Meanwhile keep in touch while he's gone but date other people. See how you feel when he gets back. Agreed. Although I am skeptical about whether you should keep in touch with him. If you can without getting emotional, then do it. Otherwise, say goodbye and search for someone else. If you're both single in 6 months, meet up and see if there is still any chemistry. 1
Author Pastel Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Tell him you would rather not do the whole LDR thing. Explain that you do like him & if you are both still free when he returns from deployment, to look you up but for now you would rather keep things casual. Meanwhile keep in touch while he's gone but date other people. See how you feel when he gets back. A little bit of an update: He came over and stayed the night. We didn't have sex or anything but we cuddled and got a little intimate and watched movies. Bringing up the topic crossed my mind a few times but I remained silent. I don't know why. I couldn't do it. He asked me when I was leaving again, although he'd asked me the question about a dozen times already. I repeated what I'd told him before but didn't say anything else about it. The next day he left right after he woke up. After he got home he sent me a text saying that he thought I was pretty cool but he didn't want to get too attached to me since we were both leaving. He asked me to be friends. I told him that he has has reasons so I understood. I haven't heard from him since. Kinda hurts my feelings that he hasn't kept up his offer to be friends. I'm also hurt that he didn't tell me this in person, but it was a long time coming. I think we both knew it was going to happen eventually. He just cut the chord a little early.
Author Pastel Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Where is he going? Training? Overseas to war? He's going overseas.
Recommended Posts