screwed up and lost

[phuqdithappened]

Was with my lady over 6 years we have a son together and both of us have a previous daughter from past relationship. We started out good then I caught her texting her ex about a little over a year into our relationship. This kinda screwed with my mentality about her and I started talking to another woman shortly after. I had a sort of side relationship but I was not full filled with my side play. I love my lady . Well about 2 years ago she found out I had been messing around **** was hectic for a while but we decided to stay together and work it out....unfortunately I didn't do much to change in my mentality department and my guilt lead me to insecurities. I want the best boyfriend.......... any who last week 12/18/14 she came home and showed up with her parents and sister and told me she was leaving....right out the blue in my head for a bit....but as I started looking into my relating hip I noticed my short commings. I know I'm not perfect and may not deserve a 2nd chance, but I love her so much I love my kids so much. I am willing to do what I must to have these kids smiling and together again as well as my ex and I in each others arms........I've looked into whether I need or want her. Whether it's a good decision. And it is. This girl gave me 120 percent. And do to my communicating lack of confidence and great ignoring abilities I've lost her...... please help.. I know it won't be easy to try to get her back. But i. Willing to do it........I made a mistake and am human..........but I know what it is I want.... she has brought out a side of me I never k we was there. She pushed me to better myself and I enrolled in school and am only less the 10 units from graduating now..... this woman has my heart.... she owns it..... and I want her heart back . Please help. Please don't beat me up about it....I'm in such a bad place I hate seeing my/our kids crying and sad...I know it's my fault ......mm