Ganz7 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Well, I had to do it! Was spending Christmas with my sister and family. One of my nieces who checks my ex facebook page said that my ex had posted that she was getting married to her new bf!! I knew I shouldn't have done this but I unblocked her and went on her facebook page... Her new profile pic was a handwritten note asking him to marry her! I recognised her writing. Then another pic saying she was getting married. What a christmas day for me:( Can't believe that after knowing this guy for 8 months they are now getting hitched. Point of this post is don't do what I did. All the good work of cheering myself up and getting motivated has now taken a backward step. I had a moment of weakness. All I can say is she must have really hated me to do this to me. Hang in there everyone but make NC ABSOLUTE! BTW Merry Christmas everyone!! 1
welshbambi Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I don't think she hated you, and I am sorry you had to see that. As far as Christmas Day goes, yes, it does exacerbate feelings and emotions but it is still just a Thursday. It has set you back, but you got through bad days before and you will do it again.
FancyFace Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) OP - Oh wow, I am sorry that that had to be your Christmas. I think it is in the NC guideline but if not it should be added that friends and family should break up with your ex as well and stop telling you things about the person. I had to tell my mother to delete my ex off her whatsapp and stop telling me what the hell his status and pictures were. I also made the same mistake of checking his instagram a couple of weeks back only to be greated by pictures and comments between him and his exgf, the same exgf I had been arguing with him about as he continued to lie to me, before he broke up with me. I had made progress but in that moment where I saw pictures of the play they went to see (of which I had bought the tickets for me and him) I just backslided to how I felt on day 1. I stayed in bed, in the foetal position for the next 3 days afterwards. So yes, don't go looking coz trust and believe, you will find some hurtful ish. Ignorance really is bliss. Stay classy everyone! Oh and dont make assumptions as to whether she loved or hated you. Take the time you had together for what it was and try to move forward. You won't move an inch until you completely let go of the past, and that means letting go of any wonder about her or her feelings. Focus on you. Edited December 25, 2014 by FancyFace 1
Author Ganz7 Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 OP - Oh wow, I am sorry that that had to be your Christmas. I think it is in the NC guideline but if not it should be added that friends and family should break up with your ex as well and stop telling you things about the person. I had to tell my mother to delete my ex off her whatsapp and stop telling me what the hell his status and pictures were. I also made the same mistake of checking his instagram a couple of weeks back only to be greated by pictures and comments between him and his exgf, the same exgf I had been arguing with him about as he continued to lie to me, before he broke up with me. I had made progress but in that moment where I saw pictures of the play they went to see (of which I had bought the tickets for me and him) I just backslided to how I felt on day 1. I stayed in bed, in the foetal position for the next 3 days afterwards. So yes, don't go looking coz trust and believe, you will find some hurtful ish. Ignorance really is bliss. Stay classy everyone! Oh and dont make assumptions as to whether she loved or hated you. Take the time you had together for what it was and try to move forward. You won't move an inch until you completely let go of the past, and that means letting go of any wonder about her or her feelings. Focus on you. You're right. I'm going to let my close family members know that I don't want to talk about her anymore. I had brought two tickets for a segway experience. She broke up with me soon after when I offered her a day out but she made some excuse for not making it (this was when she was telling me she was living at a friends flat which she wasn't). The tickets expired last week. It seems worse for the ones that are dumped. Still, getting lied, used and cheated is hard to take on the chin but I'm still standing. There are worse things out there. I have a friend whose wife divorced him and took the house and car and even his son. She had also turned his son against him!! He had also lost his job and had to relocate to another part of the country. He still has no contact with his son after 8 years! But credit to my friend he is never down and always cheerful but I did find out that privately it hit him hard and he had to go to therapy. So yeah, there are worse things. I too feel I want to go foetal myself after today. I have a cold so it would feel even easier to do. It would feel nice but probably not healthy in the long run. I took two days off work about two months ago to go foetal. I needed to do that. The irony is that she probably didn't even think about me. It's so nice to know that people like yourself are going through the same life changing stuff . You're right about wondering what her motives and feelings were. That will just prolong the healing process. I'll take your advise on telling my family and friends to break up with my ex. Don't know what I would do without Loveshack.com. Cheers!
Author Ganz7 Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 I don't think she hated you, and I am sorry you had to see that. As far as Christmas Day goes, yes, it does exacerbate feelings and emotions but it is still just a Thursday. It has set you back, but you got through bad days before and you will do it again. Cheers Bambi You know what? I was thinking set backs will makes us stronger. Also, If I had any doubts about whether breaking NC was a good decision this was a very quick affirmation that it was a BAD decision to break all contact even social media conact. You know I should man up and move on. We weren't made for each other even after all the years together. Interestingly a lot of my freinds have either had partners or wife break ups after several years together. It seems this has been my first 'proper' long term relationship break up. It sucks though!
NopeNah Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 Sucks to see,but sometimes knowledge is power. Now you get to be rid of a cheater and get on with your life. She's his problem now.
Author Ganz7 Posted December 26, 2014 Author Posted December 26, 2014 Sucks to see,but sometimes knowledge is power. Now you get to be rid of a cheater and get on with your life. She's his problem now. Yes that's true. She wasn't to be trusted. The feeling I'm left with.is she is going to.have a happy lucky life whilst I'm left on my own wondering what could have been. When I saw her photo I was glad I don't have to.see her again but a part of me has regrets. Need to hit the gym to get my head right.
SycamoreCircle Posted December 26, 2014 Posted December 26, 2014 "All the Social Media's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." If she cheated on you for this guy, that marriage has root rot.
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