jbear0111 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Well i did what i had resolved not to do.I sent an email to her saying i miss and want her and want a life with her. been about 6 weeks n/c and 3 months post bu.I did it because i miss her so much and today of all days really pains me to the extent that i had to call in sick to my sisters christmas dinner as i couldnt face the day.I feel weak and sorry for myself and wondering wether and when this will end. I do have bad and not so bad days and today has been one of the worst so i felt the need to reach out to her,knowing i wont get a response.i'll just have to get back on that n/c horse again. i've been told that looks like shes in another relationship and i cant understand how she can move on so quickly after a 2.5 year relationship especially as one of her reasons for breaking up with me was that i hadnt put a ring on her finger despite her continuously asking me too i know tomorrows another day but just feeling so low at the moment.
NopeNah Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I bet there will be a lot of these today-Jan 2. You should go to see your sister. Enjoy your holiday! She is not setting around,you shouldnt be either.
FancyFace Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 OP - Don't know what time it is where you are but you should go see your sister and be around people. Get ridiculously drunk (but put your phone away so you don't call), eat way too much and tell the kids running around slightly inappropriate jokes. Today is Christmas, which in the grander scheme of things is honestly just another day. Just like New Years Eve, Valentines, Birthdays. Take it for what it is, just another day. Tomorrow everything will be exactly the same unless you make it different, meaning you make a real effort to start moving on, heal and doing what is best for yourself. Not sure what the exact specifics are behind your breakup but if she is with someone so quickly, that means she was probably cheating on you during the relationship or had her eye on someone else towards the end or she is a weak person who just can't be alone. Take it for exactly what it is, disrespect! Disrespect which should signal to you to move on and do best by yourself by walking away and never looking back. 3
HurtGator Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 OP - Don't know what time it is where you are but you should go see your sister and be around people. Get ridiculously drunk (but put your phone away so you don't call), eat way too much and tell the kids running around slightly inappropriate jokes. Today is Christmas, which in the grander scheme of things is honestly just another day. Just like New Years Eve, Valentines, Birthdays. Take it for what it is, just another day. Tomorrow everything will be exactly the same unless you make it different, meaning you make a real effort to start moving on, heal and doing what is best for yourself. Not sure what the exact specifics are behind your breakup but if she is with someone so quickly, that means she was probably cheating on you during the relationship or had her eye on someone else towards the end or she is a weak person who just can't be alone. Take it for exactly what it is, disrespect! Disrespect which should signal to you to move on and do best by yourself by walking away and never looking back. That's exactly right! You were mostly likely cheated on! Why do you want someone like that? In my case, I suspected my exgf and some guy had something going on before she broke up with me. But then two days after break up they were hanging out and spending the nights at his house. She's a low life. I'm glad she is out.
Author jbear0111 Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 I know in the scheme of things its just another day but i suppose im realising that we are never getting back together and the emotions took over my logic. Hurtgator,i read your story and resonated with me,met my ex at work and she left in jun 14 and altjough we were still together then it helps that shes not there now.i am sure ahe was cheating when we were together but pehaps i was too naive and trusting to believe she would. Thanks for the replies guys
mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 OP I miss my ex too so you are not alone. I cried a lot today. But you got to move on. Stay strong.
Zzyxx Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 OP I miss my ex too so you are not alone. I cried a lot today. But you got to move on. Stay strong. Same here. As some one else said it's probably going to be harder during the holiday season, but yeah, maybe being around people will help? My Mom's friends are coming over for dinner, and I really really don't feel like having to pretend I'm not super depressed and making small talk, but it's just for one day, we can do it I guess.
mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I was half worried / hoping that my ex may send me a happy christmas text. But he didn't. Oh wel. It's just another day
Author jbear0111 Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 I felt like crying too mangetout,has been one painful day.All that good work undone because my emotions too over
Ganz7 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 My ex walked out on me and straight into her new bf appartment. She had been cheating on me for 6 months before she left me. Sounds like your ex was already cheating on you. Keep absolute NC. Don't look into what she is doing now as there will be things that will trigger memories about her in the future. I still love my ex but today I discovered she is getting married to her new bf!! Changed the mood of what had been a pretty good Christmas with my sister and bruv in law.
FancyFace Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Yea the holiday season really makes it harder because it is expected of us to have holiday cheer, to make merry and be jolly and also to embrace family and loved ones. A lot of us also have memories with our exes from this time around, I remember I got him a Miles Davis LP and I got diddly squat. What a considerate boyfriend he was. I cried in my mothers arms this morning (I am 28 by the way LOL), I mean total wailing, snot running down your face, ugly cry but once I was done I just told myself that it is just another day and I decided to pick myself up and keep it moving. The wine I poured into my coffee mug really helped too but hey different strokes. I really hope and wish that everyone here does the same.
hudson701 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I too cried into my mothers arms today- I had to leave Xmas lunch and take a walk outside with her because all my family could see my welling up at the table. Today has been ridiculously hard but I ground through. My ex is not with anyone else seriously at the moment, but has stated categorically that she will never get back with me, or even meet me for coffee as friends, as she is afraid all the feelings will come flooding back. In other words, the feelings are still there but she doesn't want to act on them, so essentially I'm dead to her. It hurts so much. I feel for you, I really do.
welshbambi Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I cried in my mothers arms this morning (I am 28 by the way LOL), I mean total wailing, snot running down your face, ugly cry but once I was done I just told myself that it is just another day and I decided to pick myself up and keep it moving. The wine I poured into my coffee mug really helped too but hey different strokes. I really hope and wish that everyone here does the same. I am 31 and doing the same! I can't believe I am crying over a boy - I would much rather be sassy and fabulous like Samantha Jones from SATC but alas, no, snot and tears, wailing and flailing.
Ganz7 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Yea the holiday season really makes it harder because it is expected of us to have holiday cheer, to make merry and be jolly and also to embrace family and loved ones. A lot of us also have memories with our exes from this time around, I remember I got him a Miles Davis LP and I got diddly squat. What a considerate boyfriend he was. I cried in my mothers arms this morning (I am 28 by the way LOL), I mean total wailing, snot running down your face, ugly cry but once I was done I just told myself that it is just another day and I decided to pick myself up and keep it moving. The wine I poured into my coffee mug really helped too but hey different strokes. I really hope and wish that everyone here does the same. A good snoty wail maybe does the trick! I haven't really grieved yet in that way yet. I've heard that grieving properly can speed up the healing process.
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