CoolBurn Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 My boyfriend is employed, while I'm still in school. I do see my friends daily at classes but besides that, we don't get together very often. The fact that it's winter and none of us has a car makes it even harder to get together. It's made me be hard on my boyfriend and criticize him repeatedly for the lack of attenion I'm getting. It's hurting my relationship. Working out is an option, but since the weather is cold, that too is limited to some exercsises that will soon get boring and routine. I know I need to get up to something because I can't accuse him of having a life, it's just that his is notably more hectic than mine. Any ideas? And please, don't hesitate to get specific.
Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 The way you have worded that makes you sound rather selfish. Sounds like he has his life on track if you ask me. Does he make time for you when he is not working? If not, i could possibly understand where you are coming from. We all have to do what we have to, to pay bills and have a roof over our head. Be thankful you have a partner that is financially stable and not a bum who cant afford to do anything because he has no money.
Author CoolBurn Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 The way you have worded that makes you sound rather selfish. Sounds like he has his life on track if you ask me. Does he make time for you when he is not working? If not, i could possibly understand where you are coming from. We all have to do what we have to, to pay bills and have a roof over our head. Be thankful you have a partner that is financially stable and not a bum who cant afford to do anything because he has no money. Did you even take the time to read what I wrote or did you write a whole paragraph based off the title?
Author CoolBurn Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 To anyone else who might have missed the point, I'm asking for ways to fill my life and free time so I am not such a nuisance, and can avoid being needy at times.
Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Did you even take the time to read what I wrote or did you write a whole paragraph based off the title? Dont worry i read it, you mentioned this has made you hard on your partner and you criticize him for lack of attention ( i just wanted to state how selfish that makes you sound)
Author CoolBurn Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 Dont worry i read it, you mentioned this has made you hard on your partner and you criticize him for lack of attention ( i just wanted to state how selfish that makes you sound) The point is I'm trying to do something about it instead of being in denial and blaming him for not paying as much attention as I'd like. I realize he has a busy life and I'm trying to fill mine so I don't have much time to let my mind wander and cause unnecessary drama.
Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 The point is I'm trying to do something about it instead of being in denial and blaming him for not paying as much attention as I'd like. I realize he has a busy life and I'm trying to fill mine so I don't have much time to let my mind wander and cause unnecessary drama. In that case, what are your interests? Hobbies ect..
Author CoolBurn Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 In that case, what are your interests? Hobbies ect.. I like reading, I have tried commiting to a workout routine numerous times but I have never managed to stick with it for long, I like movies and walks, but I have a very short attention span and easily get bored. Variety is key for me.
Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I like reading, I have tried commiting to a workout routine numerous times but I have never managed to stick with it for long, I like movies and walks, but I have a very short attention span and easily get bored. Variety is key for me. So obviously those things most likely wont get you through your day - for the work out one, variety in exercises, starting with a beginner to intermediate routine and thinking of it as a lifestyle choice rather than a chore to pass time is the best way to stay committed to it. Maybe its time to venture out a tad and try new things, take up a sport, learn an instrument, join some kind of club or group. That way you meet new people and have something productive to do with your day.
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 School offers a lot more free time then the real world. Your BF has all sorts of structure & can't just do what he wants when he wants. Instead of being annoyed about when you can't see him celebrate the time you can see him. Don't give him grief for the time apart but praise the time you do get. That positive reinforcement will make him want to come around more. Meanwhile do exercise, study, perhaps join a club at school or spend time polishing your own resume.
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