Tlhopper Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 My boyfriend and I broke a month ago due to him having break down and depression. I tried giving him space to sort himself by not speaking to him but he was heartbroken so I relented. Lately he's been messaging me all day long, saying he loves me, misses me, we have a strong bond etc. He messaged me 8 times today while I was at work and therefore I couldn't reply. He even came into my work to see me a few times and bought gifts for me. I'm so very confused as to what to do now. I love this man with my heart and soul and want to support him but I can't be with him and not be with him (if that makes sense) I'm not an idiot, I know that if a man wants to be with you he will be but his actions and words are confusing me. Please help
LostInLosingLove Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 My boyfriend and I broke a month ago due to him having break down and depression. I tried giving him space to sort himself by not speaking to him but he was heartbroken so I relented. Lately he's been messaging me all day long, saying he loves me, misses me, we have a strong bond etc. He messaged me 8 times today while I was at work and therefore I couldn't reply. He even came into my work to see me a few times and bought gifts for me. I'm so very confused as to what to do now. I love this man with my heart and soul and want to support him but I can't be with him and not be with him (if that makes sense) I'm not an idiot, I know that if a man wants to be with you he will be but his actions and words are confusing me. Please help Need more information. Who did the breaking up? How are his actions and words confusing you? If you love him and he you, give him a chance and stick by him but with conditions. He must seek professional treatment for his depression and he must refrain from giving you a hard time for his own issues. i.e. controlling, possessive, needy etc... Maybe couples therapy might help for the both of you?
Author Tlhopper Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 He broke up with me. He is seeking professional help. He doesn't take anything out on me however he is very insecure. He's constantly saying he's worried I'll meet someone else and that he fears I'll meet someone better. I'm confused because of the things he says and does. Why does he message me all day everyday? Why does he say he loves and misses me? He's acting as though we never broke up.
LostInLosingLove Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 He probably broke up with you hoping that you would express your undying love for him and what not so that he could feel better about himself. When that didn't happen he lost it and needs you back in his life. Him being too clingy and needy will take its toll on you. It might not seem like it's hurting you, but it will definitely affect the relationship. Assuming you want to give it another chance, I think you can reassure him of your feelings/interest towards him. Let him know that he needn't be so insecure or clingy and reaffirm that by doing something nice. Also, tell him that this is one of the conditions he must work on in order for you two to have a more successful/better relationship. Again, if you two really care about each other it might be a good idea to seek a professional to help mediate between the two of you. So that you can both have a clear understanding of what the other needs from the relationship. One last thing. His insecurity and neediness is his issue. Those are things that he needs to really work on by himself. You can be there for him and help, but if he's not putting in the effort on his own to change his attitude and life then things will never improve. You need to ask yourself how much time you're willing to invest, waiting for that change.
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