brokeNlost Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) I was cleaning out my room yesterday and stumble across some old letters, birthday cards, anniversary cards etc. that my exgf wrote to me. I'll admit back when we were still dating, I never really took the time to read any of them. But as I read through the letters, tears flow down my face and I started to breakdown and cry like a baby. Here's a excerpt from one of the letter: Things has been so crazy in our relationship... Some are good and some are bad. Well mostly bad because of me, but for the last time, I'm very sorry for everything. I hope you would please forgive me for what I have done to hurt you and start all over again. I know that many people are against us, and I also know that some of them hates me. But I have tried my best to make them like me. I also tried to change myself so that I can be with you without any drama. I don't know how far our relationship will go nor where it takes us, but I hope it would be far and to a good place... far enough for us to have a little family together. I know you probably don't trust me as much nor loves me like you used too, but I promise that you are the only person I truly love. I love you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. Being with you makes me have this one feeling that I can't explain, but I know for sure that I have never ever felt like this for anybody else. I hope you have the same feelings for me, and hopefully it would stay the same forever. I have a lot more to say, but I know you hate reading so I will stop here and if you want to know more I can tell you.. I have finally found a person that I really love and I really don't want to lose you nor do I want to let you go. I want you for myself and not any other girls. If I have to bitch slap a girl just to have you, then I would so do it! What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? I feel my wound reopen again and to make it worse, earlier today, out of the blue, she texted me wishing me a merry x-mas. Why does it hurts so much? Thank you for reading my rant. Edited December 25, 2014 by brokeNlost 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I was cleaning out my room yesterday and stumble across some old letters, birthday cards, anniversary cards etc. that my exgf wrote to me. I'll admit back when we were still dating, I never really took the time to read any of them. But as I read through the letters, tears flow down my face and I started to breakdown and cry like a baby. Here's a excerpt from one of the letter: What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? I feel my wound reopen again and to make it worse, earlier today, out of the blue, she texted me wishing me a merry x-mas. Why does it hurts so much? Thank you for reading my rant. Did you ever consider that perhaps she cared about you enough to realize that she couldn't give you what you wanted, and therefore she wanted to let you go? Letting go is compassion sometimes. I know you're gonna say that you just want her, but you have to understand, things change. People say emotional things when they are in love. They also can fall out of love. sounds like you have a hard time letting go. NC with her. It hurts to receive those messages because you allow it to happen. If you don't properly grieve the relationship, the pain will never end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I was cleaning out my room yesterday and stumble across some old letters, birthday cards, anniversary cards etc. that my exgf wrote to me. I'll admit back when we were still dating, I never really took the time to read any of them. But as I read through the letters, tears flow down my face and I started to breakdown and cry like a baby. Here's a excerpt from one of the letter: What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? I feel my wound reopen again and to make it worse, earlier today, out of the blue, she texted me wishing me a merry x-mas. Why does it hurts so much? Thank you for reading my rant. Falling out of love happens all the time. It doesn't matter what we want or what we do. When that switch turns off it would be very difficult to open again. Acceptance is the key and it's very difficult to achieve when you're still in love. So take your time and Grieve but DO NOT wallow in it. I, myself am trying to do this because I know how it feels. Remember she left so that she could be happy. It's time now to make YOURSELF happy by letting go of someone who doesn't want to be with you and find someone who does. Link to post Share on other sites
ballycastle Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? Same here, a year later and still reeling from the same feeling as you. How do you trust what anyone says if they can just retract it? I know we can fall out of love, but how do we (if we ever) believe what the next person says without sounding needy/desperate/tarring them with the brushes of old? This is what eats me up inside too, to the point that I vowed I would never allow anyone else to hurt me again so I am through with trying to find someone who won't hurt/leave. Sad I know, but it's the only way to protect our hearts, surely? I am angry that we are the ones years later still reeling from the pain THEY CAUSED US Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Me too... All the same horrible feelings are still there and the same stupid questions going around and around my mind. No answers to be found. Christmas has been tough for me. I really would like to hear from him but no, I think that would be worse. Link to post Share on other sites
mefisto Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I was cleaning out my room yesterday and stumble across some old letters, birthday cards, anniversary cards etc. that my exgf wrote to me. I'll admit back when we were still dating, I never really took the time to read any of them. But as I read through the letters, tears flow down my face and I started to breakdown and cry like a baby. Here's a excerpt from one of the letter: What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? I feel my wound reopen again and to make it worse, earlier today, out of the blue, she texted me wishing me a merry x-mas. Why does it hurts so much? Thank you for reading my rant. I have exactly the same thing, man. I stuffed all letters and gifts from my ex in far-away box, but i remember them still. They were so sweet and full of loving words, i was so happy to read it back then. If only i could know that just one year later, she would do this horrible thing to me that she did...i would'nt believe a single word she said. The only true thing she wrote was quote of joy division song "love will tear us apart. Well, i guess, it finally did tear us apart. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can they do it? Often, with great difficulty. Believe me, it is not as effortless as you think it is, for some of us. I never thought I'd understand this either. But now I do, because I am now in that very same position and I found it best to break things off with someone I love a lot and would've gone to the moon and back for. But loving him was starting to come at the expense of my own self-respect and dignity, my own happiness, because I was starting to resent that he did not love me as much, that he did not put in as much effort as I did, that I had to put up with a lot of disrespect from his 10 year old child, which he did not condemn in the least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jacksonbrown33 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I was cleaning out my room yesterday and stumble across some old letters, birthday cards, anniversary cards etc. that my exgf wrote to me. I'll admit back when we were still dating, I never really took the time to read any of them. But as I read through the letters, tears flow down my face and I started to breakdown and cry like a baby. Here's a excerpt from one of the letter: What I don't understand from reading those letters is how can someone keep telling you they loved you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you and then turn around and breaks your heart so effortlessly. How can I believe anything any girl tell me anymore? I feel my wound reopen again and to make it worse, earlier today, out of the blue, she texted me wishing me a merry x-mas. Why does it hurts so much? Thank you for reading my rant. Words are just words. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. They are nothing more than emotions. All you have is this exact moment... Nothing is guaranteed. Who's to say that you'll ever have an opportunity to celebrate Christmas with the people around you today, ever again? I would suggest focusing on the present. How can you make this the best Christmas you've ever had? Go outside and do something fun. Do you have loved ones around you that you can make special? Tell them you love them. What about people in need that may need your help? Give them a hand. Shift your focus to today, try to be the best person you can be TODAY, and let go of what is in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Essex Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 that is amazing advice. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtGator Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I'd had a very similar experience. Exgf for two+ solid years always telling me how much she loved me, how amazing I was, how lucky she was to have me, telling me how she wants to marry me. But it wasn't just words, her actions showed it as well. Encouraged us to shop for houses, rings, etc. Always hanging out at each other's family's houses. Our parents are visiting each other all the time. Our parents are talking to both of us like its a done deal and always talking about us in the future tense. Then all of a sudden she loses feelings for me, tells me I did nothing wrong, and is then dating some new guy two days after she broke up with me. Do our exgfs sound like reliable people to you? These aren't the type of women that have the character to sustain all the ups and down of a relationship. They are just in the relationship because they are getting some emotional high out of it and then leave when the relationship starts getting familiar and just jumps to the next guy to continue with that high feeling. Did your exgf often complain that you didn't give her enough attention? That you didn't take her out to enough dinners? Yet you tried to give her as much as you can yet it still wasn't enough? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ballycastle Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Words are just words. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. They are nothing more than than emotionst. Can someone explains what this means pls? Because if they are just emotions we shouldnt feel anything at all, they are just emotions. We shouldnt try to find love, its just an emoition, we should just be alone, not feel or share or grieve, just be a robot. words And thoughts are what makes us human. Following this posters advice just strengthens my resolve to never share anything remotely intimate with anyone. Why? Because they mean nothing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ballycastle Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Words are just words. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. They are nothing more than than emotions. Can someone explains what this means pls? Because if they are just emotions we shouldnt feel anything at all, they are just emotions. We shouldnt try to find love, its just an emotion, we should just be alone, not feel or share or grieve, just be a robot. words And thoughts are what makes us human. Following this posters advice just strengthens my resolve to never share anything remotely intimate with anyone. Why? Because they mean nothing Link to post Share on other sites
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