txdragonfly Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Hey everyone. So, I'm trying to figure something out. An old friend of mine and I recently started talking again and he told me that he and his wife have an open relationship... in that they both have ONE fwb. However, since they 'opened' their marriage, he's not been able to find a fwb, but she has and has been 'friends' with this guy for over a year now. I am new to this whole thing so I am trying to understand how someone could be okay with their wife sleeping with another while he's at home taking care of the kids... and has no fwb of his own. While he says that they love each other very much... I have to wonder. Surely there has to be some marriage problem there, right? And since he's yet to have a fwb in this situation, I have to wonder how his wife will react when he does. And surely some level of bonding occurs with the fwb... Is there anyone with experience with this? I'm just curious how the wife or husband doesn't fall in love with the fwb too?
Art_Critic Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I have to wonder if what he told you is true, does his wife really have an FWB... or is this his way of making "cheating" palatable to someone he would like to have an open relationship with. Do you know for sure his wife is doing the same and he has an open relationship with her ? 3
Author txdragonfly Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 I have to wonder if what he told you is true, does his wife really have an FWB... or is this his way of making "cheating" palatable to someone he would like to have an open relationship with. Do you know for sure his wife is doing the same and he has an open relationship with her ? Well, as far as her knowing... I am meeting his wife this weekend because I wanted to be SURE that she was on board with it. So, it would seem that she knows or I wouldn't be meeting her at their house.
oldshirt Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Your friend is simply a fool. Oh trust me there are lots of people that have perfectly happy, healthy open marriages. My wife and I have been involved in the swinging lifestyle to various degrees for almost ten years and while we do not have an open marriage per se, I do have considerable experience with consensual nonmonogamy. But anyway getting back to your friend. Somewhere along the way he was duped. He signed up for something he was naive about and was sold a bad bill of goods. Yousee here's the catch in this whole open marriage/FWB thing - men will line up down the street and around the corner to bang a married women that wants some extra poontang on the side. Many would actually rather do that than have their girlfriend in an exclusive relationship in fact. But virtually no woman wants to be the side piece for some happily married man who can have an FWB on the side. He would actually have more luck if he were to lie and tell women that his wife is unaware and that he is cheating. Women will cheat with a married man, but they won't be his side piece with his wife's blessing. My guess is she was already somewhat involved with this OM and she made a deal with your friend that he could bang some other chick as long as she could have the OM. He was probably excited about getting some extra poon without getting in trouble from his wife and thought that he would actually be able to get some. His wife knew fully well he wouldn't have the same opportunities as her and came out smelling like a rose. 3
Author txdragonfly Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 See... that's EXACTLY what I'm thinking. I could see no reason why a guy would be okay with that! I've known this guy for a while and always liked him, but I was involved with someone else. When he told me what was going on, I had all of these red flags shoot up, but more on his side... that he seems to have missed. To me, it says they AREN'T really in love or that she is just using the crap out of him since he owns two successful businesses. If I am wrong, I would like to hear from someone that has been on the guys side of this.
Author txdragonfly Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 His wife knew fully well he wouldn't have the same opportunities as her and came out smelling like a rose. I suppose we'll see if she can take her own medicine then, if that is the case.
USMCHokie Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Has he even tried looking for one of his own...?
oldshirt Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I suppose we'll see if she can take her own medicine then, if that is the case. ....or we'll see if YOU can take the medicine if it turns out that they are perfectly happy and well-adjusted together and you really are just a FWB on the side. You seem anxious to believe that there is marital discord here and that things really aren't as they are being presented. That kind of supports my statement that women are willing to to cheat with a man but are leery of being a side piece for a happily married man with a knowing ad consenting wife. I have the feeling if he had given you the line that he was unhappy and that their marriage was on the rocks and he had to keep it on the down low, you would've been there/done that already.
oldshirt Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I have to wonder if what he told you is true, does his wife really have an FWB... or is this his way of making "cheating" palatable to someone he would like to have an open relationship with. It probably is true. It's easier to cheat than to have an open marriage. Open marriages are actually quite complex and labor intensive for the man. I don't think he's trying to pull one over on dragonfly by concocting a story of a fake open marriage. There are a million other lines that are easier and more effective and a whole harder to confirm and corroborate. I don't think he is duping her. I think if anyone pulled off a good one it was his wife.
USMCHokie Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Open marriages are actually quite complex and labor intensive for the man. How so...? Hotel lounges downtown...? ::pew pew::: <--- laser sound effects...
Author txdragonfly Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 ....or we'll see if YOU can take the medicine if it turns out that they are perfectly happy and well-adjusted together and you really are just a FWB on the side. You seem anxious to believe that there is marital discord here and that things really aren't as they are being presented. That kind of supports my statement that women are willing to to cheat with a man but are leery of being a side piece for a happily married man with a knowing ad consenting wife. I have the feeling if he had given you the line that he was unhappy and that their marriage was on the rocks and he had to keep it on the down low, you would've been there/done that already. I'm not anxious to believe they are having marital difficulties... I just know him as a guy that normally hides his feelings and puts on a positive, optimistic front instead. Anyway, if being with a married man got me off, I wouldn't be meeting his wife this weekend.
bubbaganoosh Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 His wife has a fwb, he doesn't. Think about it. His wife walks in a bar and lets it be known she wants sex and any takers meet her outside behind the building. Hell, the place would empty out and the only sound you would here in that bar is crickets. Now your buddy goes in to a bar and tells all the ladies the same thing and he'll be out back by himself for the rest of the night. That's the way it is. Maybe he should ask his wife if her FWB has a sister.
Jcksparr0w Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Its not that difficult for a guy to cultivate FWB with a woman. If he hasn't, in that amt of time, then he hasn't tried. Post on Craigslist under the personals and a guy will get a flood of responses. Then you just weed thru the respondents. There are a lot of lonely eager women out in the world.
oldshirt Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Its not that difficult for a guy to cultivate FWB with a woman. If he hasn't, in that amt of time, then he hasn't tried. Post on Craigslist under the personals and a guy will get a flood of responses. Then you just weed thru the respondents. There are a lot of lonely eager women out in the world. Really????? But how many of them are under 300lbs and shower every day?? 1
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