sittingherealone Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 We were a one night drunk hook up who started dating. Dated 2 years total. After 6-8 months I noticed she was on medication for bi polar, emotionally unstable and borderline personality disorder. Trust issues were a big problem between us. I stopped acting jealous and put trust in her, but she became worse. She started saying "you dont care about me or where I'm at". She would do things to try and make me jealous but in return it started pissing me off. Add guys on facebook, If we fight, she would go out and party, ignore my text for hours. The last year was the roughest. She became manipulative and very verbal abusive. I was called a piece of **** ******* if I didnt do things her way.It became all about her. She started saying she can do better and all her b/f's were pathetic losers. The last months I played her game, I would ASK HER what she wanted me to do. She never gave me an answer, just choices to choose from. She'd tell me to choose the right one. No matter which choice I chose it was the wrong one. I realized I was miserable and left. The first week she said she missed me and loved me and cant see her life without me. The 2nd week into break up she got angry and said she will do better and I'm a piece of **** ass hole who used her. She started partying alot. Now 2 months later shes moved on and I'm still single. She looks happy. Im stuck here now feeling like a worthless *******. She really hurt my ego. I KNOW i tried. I did everything I could. But she has put in my head that I didnt try hard enough, She said I didnt show enough interest in her. kisses, snuggling, hand holding. She claims if Id done that she wouldnt have had issues and I'm beating my self up over it. Is this how verbal abusive people make you feel ?? Everyone has told me you cant make a verbal abusive partner happy no matter how hard you try. Would 1 extra kiss a day made her change ?
Mandalorian Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Nope it wouldn't have made any difference. You gave your all. She's come out with that crap to make herself feel better, she didn't give a hoot what it would do to you by saying it and you should remember that. Look forward to the person who you will make happy and who deserves you. I know it is hard but it helps. 1
Downtown Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Sitting, I agree with Mandalorian. If your Ex is a BPDer, she is filled with self loathing and feels empty inside. Trying to meet her needs is as futile as trying to fill up the Grand Canyon with a squirt gun. It is a hopeless task. If you would like to read about my experiences with a BPDer exW, please see my posts in Rebel's Thread. Take care and Merry Christmas, Sitting!
MissLilly Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Keep in mind it's not you, it's her. Don't feel bad, if you say she has some issues, anything you can do will never be enough to make her feel happy, fulfilled. Time to focus on yourself and your well being now, you did what you could! Wishing you the best in this hurtful moment.
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