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catching cheating lover

johnbrooks

By johnbrooks
in Infidelity

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johnbrooks New Member

johnbrooks

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I'd thought I should share some ways to catch a cheating spouse that I have unfortunately had to use. I think there is no worse feeling than suspecting and not knowing.

 

1) Facebook = after the obvious checking off messages and archived messages, check their Activity Log. When your click on activity log in their page when signed in to their account, click Only Me Activity. This shows you every search on Facebook and all their activity.

 

2) keylogger = I have had good success with a free keylogger program on the computer to get passwords.

 

3) cell phone text history = your provider keeps logs of text history numbers. Verify these numbers are who they are saved as on their phone. Searching the number on Facebook search helps, or just download a free program such as text now to call them anonymously and see who answers. Look for odd hour texts.

 

4 = iphone = if there is itunes installed on a computer and their phone has synced there, odds are you have tons of deleted pictures, messages, web history, etc saved on the computer in the backup file. You can download a program to view the stuff.

Also check app store on their phone and check all apps that have been installed or searched for.

 

5 = audio recorder = get a 20$ voice activated recorder and plant it in their car

 

6= Old phones , if they have any old cell phones laying around, run programs on them to restore ask information

thummper Established Member

thummper

Posted
Posted

Hey John. I read your other thread. Sorry to say, but it sounds like you're flogging the proverbial "dead horse." Put it to her simply: If you don't want me, should we just move on? I don't think she'll ever look at you as a romantic partner again. Sounds like "duty sex" from now on. Can you continue to live with that?

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johnbrooks New Member

johnbrooks

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Posted
Hey John. I read your other thread. Sorry to say, but it sounds like you're flogging the proverbial "dead horse." Put it to her simply: If you don't want me, should we just move on? I don't think she'll ever look at you as a romantic partner again. Sounds like "duty sex" from now on. Can you continue to live with that?

 

No I can't live like that. Maybe another year at most. It's been too long. I guess as sad as it sounds I'm hoping I can find real evidence she will cheat, or consider cheating like she did before. Then I can justify more in my mind breaking apart our family. I feel selfish breaking it up over not fulfilling sexual desires, even though I know I should. I'm just not ready for a year of Hell breaking up and going through all the drama, wish something would push me over the edge

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johnbrooks New Member

johnbrooks

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Posted (edited)

Guess deep down I was hoping everyone on here would say duty sex and no passion was just a normal part of marriage and to get used to it. Just makes it hard because she is a good person and a good friend and she feels just as bad about this. She just can't control her lack of feelings for me. I just know I don't want to stay like this and end up getting cheated on later in life when my best years are behind me

Edited by johnbrooks
oldshirt Established Member

oldshirt

Posted
Posted
Just makes it hard because she is a good person and a good friend and she feels just as bad about this. She just can't control her lack of feelings for me

 

Then she will understand and will probably be ok with divorcing and moving on herself.

 

If she doesn't want to divorce but doesn't put any effort into working on the relationship, that means she wants you to continue to pay the bills and provide her a roof over her and be a live-babysitter for when she wants to go out.

 

In other words she is fine with living in a roommate arrangement.

 

From your perspective, it is a reasonable expectation that a woman you house, support, protect and provide for has a sincere love and desire for you. You signed up for marriage for a wife and a full-service marriage. You did not put an add in the paper for a roommate. You have just grounds to terminate the marriage.

 

The relationship advice columnist Dan Savage calls this, "Price Of Admission."

 

Everyone has a price for which they will provide their services for. For a man to provide a woman support, child-rearing, protection, housing, cars that run, companionship, love and squashing spiders - affection, love, romance and sexuality are reasonable prices to expect in return.

 

If she is a good person, a good friend, a good mother and good partner (sans the sexuality) Then she will likely be a cooperative and amicable in divorce and will continue to be a good person and a good coparent and possibly a good Freind after the divorce as well.

 

Children are harmed in divorce when there is continued adultery, abuse, addiction and abandonment and neglect. When two loving and supportive parents separate but remain cooperative and loving, supportive coparents taking care of the kids, the fact that it is from two separate houses does not have to be harmful to the children.

 

In that sense, I would think that an amicable, cooperative divorce in the absence of adultery and all of it's associated drama and bad feelings now, would better than laying in wait of an affair to occur and then having the sht hit the fan at that time.

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Trotters Established Member

Trotters

Posted
Posted
Sounds like "duty sex" from now on. Can you continue to live with that?

Whats duty sex?

thummper Established Member

thummper

Posted
Posted

That's where the wife just lays on her back and lets her husband "do her" because it's her duty.

Trotters Established Member

Trotters

Posted
Posted
That's where the wife just lays on her back and lets her husband "do her" because it's her duty.

 

 

Meaning because she "has" to, rather than wanting to?

oldshirt Established Member

oldshirt

Posted
Posted
Meaning because she "has" to, rather than wanting to?

 

It's basically letting someone masturbate with her body to keep a man around the house.

 

It's not done out of actual desire to do so.

oldshirt Established Member

oldshirt

Posted
Posted

Johbrooks have you signed up for the forums at MMSL yet?

spanz1 Established Member

spanz1

Posted
Posted
It's basically letting someone masturbate with her body to keep a man around the house.

 

It's not done out of actual desire to do so.

 

 

 

well, if its a choice between duty sex, and not sex at all....im sticking it in!

  • Like 1
Trotters Established Member

Trotters

Posted
Posted
well, if its a choice between duty sex, and not sex at all....im sticking it in!

Well if my wife was only "doing it" for the sake of it, I wouldn't be too impressed. I want her to want me.

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johnbrooks New Member

johnbrooks

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Then she will understand and will probably be ok with divorcing and moving on herself.

 

If she doesn't want to divorce but doesn't put any effort into working on the relationship, that means she wants you to continue to pay the bills and provide her a roof over her and be a live-babysitter for when she wants to go out.

 

In other words she is fine with living in a roommate arrangement.

 

From your perspective, it is a reasonable expectation that a woman you house, support, protect and provide for has a sincere love and desire for you. You signed up for marriage for a wife and a full-service marriage. You did not put an add in the paper for a roommate. You have just grounds to terminate the marriage.

 

The relationship advice columnist Dan Savage calls this, "Price Of Admission."

 

Everyone has a price for which they will provide their services for. For a man to provide a woman support, child-rearing, protection, housing, cars that run, companionship, love and squashing spiders - affection, love, romance and sexuality are reasonable prices to expect in return.

 

If she is a good person, a good friend, a good mother and good partner (sans the sexuality) Then she will likely be a cooperative and amicable in divorce and will continue to be a good person and a good coparent and possibly a good Freind after the divorce as well.

 

Children are harmed in divorce when there is continued adultery, abuse, addiction and abandonment and neglect. When two loving and supportive parents separate but remain cooperative and loving, supportive coparents taking care of the kids, the fact that it is from two separate houses does not have to be harmful to the children.

 

In that sense, I would think that an amicable, cooperative divorce in the absence of adultery and all of it's associated drama and bad feelings now, would better than laying in wait of an affair to occur and then having the sht hit the fan at that time.

 

 

Thank you very much. Good advice I will take to heart. And yes to the other poster I have checked out mmsl and am signing up. Thanks for the recommendation

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