Mx12345 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I'm looking for advice or anyone who has been in a similar situation. I met a guy online about 7 months ago. We dated for about 5 weeks. Everything was going great. We talked by text or phone call every day and saw each other 1-2 times per week. After our 4th date we had sex. We got along very well and I had all the "just started dating" butterflies. The last week however I noticed him being distant. We went a whole day without talking. The next day I texted him first but he didn't seem interested in the conversation. Two days later we had a phone call but when I asked about the next time we'd see each other he mentioned he was very busy the next few days. By the end of the week I just flat out asked him what was going on. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious at the moment and he felt like things were progressing too much for him. He did say that he always had fun when we went out but that he knew I was looking for something more serious than he was. I was sad and upset because I felt a real connection with him but I was polite and said thank you for being honest with me and it was nice to have met him. We never spoke after that and I deleted my dating account we had met on a few weeks later just because I didn't feel like online dating anymore. Last week he text me out of the blue. It was a "hey I thought about you the other day because of this thing and just wanted to see how you were doing" kind of text. We've texted back and forth now and I feel like no time has passed. Again, we get along and have great chemistry. Today he asked if I'd like to grab a drink this weekend after Christmas. While I did agree I'm debating on if I should actually go. Could this guy be ready for something more? Or is he just bored at the moment? I can see myself really liking him again but I don't want to get hurt. What should I do? Guys- have you ever genuinely broke things off with a girl you actually liked just because you didn't want anything serious? Or has it been you said you didn't want anything serious because you just started to not feel it with the girl anymore? 1
Conners Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 A guy can have a change of heart at any time.. Look, he told you he wasn't after anything serious. If he was, he would of wanted to be exclusive with you. Unfortunately he has probably started talking to you again because he might want some sex. To me, guys that put in all that ground work to have sex and then claim they are not after anything serious are a bit more desperate than other guys. A lot of guys can get sex easily without pretending they want to date someone and taking them on multiple dates and buttering the girl up. I am guessing he's not having any luck lately and is hoping your naive enough to sleep with him. Please do not let him use you again. 5
SycamoreCircle Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Don't be hard on yourself. It seems to me like the two of you had a great thing going, you were on the same page and something happened. Most probably he met someone else that he started to like. When he contacted you later, that someone else wasn't proving to be such a great prospect. He controls the relationship. Going forward, I feel this dynamic will continue. Was he honest with you about what was really going on inside him? No. He made you subject to the fluctuations of his desire. Who's to say in 6 weeks he doesn't have another change of heart. Will he be upfront about that? Probably not. You can continue being emotionally involved with him and weather the good and the bad. I have no idea which you will see more of. But if I care about someone, I'm not going to put the responsibility of breaking up on their shoulders: "Look, you want something serious. I don't. This is moving too fast for me." As an emotionally responsible man, I know that if I go out with a woman on a second date I am saying, "I like you that much more than the previous date." The third, "I like you that much more than the second." By 4-5 dates and sex, I am looking for something serious. I am feeling a connection. Now, there are men who operate differently of course. But I think for them to claim they did not want anything serious is being emotionally irresponsible i.e. immature. 1
Mr.Pine Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Guys- have you ever genuinely broke things off with a girl you actually liked just because you didn't want anything serious? Or has it been you said you didn't want anything serious because you just started to not feel it with the girl anymore? Sorry to break it to you, but he's banging someone else. When she's busy, he opts to see you. He doesn't want anything serious because he wants to shnabb around. If you don't mind being his sloppy seconds, by all means, continue. But if you have a shred of dignity, you'll delete his number and stop contacting him. Bonne chance.
Recommended Posts