I miss my cheating ex girlfriend.. Why?

[Sandrino]

Ok, im new here, so im going to try and make this as short as possible.

 

I was with this girl for about 9 months. Off and on. This girl was the first girl i've ever had major feelings for in my entire life. I've never felt this way about someone ever. I'm 20 and shes 17.

 

She had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy she was with for 3 years. I was scared as soon as i found this out. But i wanted to be with her and so i stayed. She comes to me within a couple of weeks of us being together and tells me, she may have jumped into a relationship but she really wants to be with me. She says shes just scared. So i said, well then be with me, and i'll pull you through. I trusted her.

 

I knew i was a rebound at this point, but she wanted to make it work, so i tried to keep it going. An issue arose where i found out she was still talking to the guy. All the time. It made me insecure so i told her to stop, but she refused and told me i was being controlling. I didnt want to have to fight for her. But i broke up with her over this because i just couldnt handle it. Week later, she cries for me back and says she misses me. She said she'll change, and quit talking to him.

 

I believed her, and gave her another shot. The guy ends up calling her while im at her house all the time, i find pictures of him on her computer, she made multiple facebook accounts that made me suspicious of her talking to him privately. Then we break up again. We do this multiple times until she finally breaks my heart to pieces. One day we got back together again and she promised AGAIN that she would stop. I believed her AGAIN. Like an idiot.

 

The NEXT DAY she cheats on me and goes to a theme park with the guy. She said she already paid for the ticket and it was already planned while we were broke up. But the thing is, she lied about where she was going and said she was going to see her grandmother that day. She said she was going to tell me, but i doubt it. She blames the cheating on me, and says that im too high maintenance for her. She says im a like a clingy girlfriend. Although this girl has begged for me back almost every single time, I'm just tired of doing this with her, and i just wanted it to work out for christs sake. Thats why i tried harder to be with her this time, which i guess it came to be annoying to her. I was way too insecure and i couldnt trust her. I guess thats what pushed her away, but she cheated on me! Things dont just go back to normal and all happy after that happens.

 

One time we broke up i found out she was at his house hanging out with him within 3 days of us being broken up. But then we got back together a week later lol. He obviously got what he wanted out of her and didnt need her, so she came to me. Its sad that i know this but i just loved her so much, i wasn't thinking rational. She had me brainwashed.

 

I'd have to be with her at all times just to know where she is. Now, we've been no contact for the longest we've ever been. Its been almost 3 weeks. Christmas is in a couple of days, and new years. Man new years is going to kill me. Can't wait for Valentines day.. Just knowing shes probably out with some dude on those days, and im here alone, thinking of her. She called me all kinds of names, and i called her a slut, and it ended again. Its been two weeks. I wish i can blame her age for the reasoning behind the cheating, but is that really the full blame? I knew at 17 not to cheat on people EVER. Its cruel and a terrible thing to do to someone.

 

We've done this so many times, and deep down i know she had feelings for me. She would write about me in her journals, she cried over me multiple times, and it seemed like she loved me. Or maybe it was all just a manipulative trick to get me back, and make me feel bad. I'm so broken without her, but i know shes no good for me. I miss her so much, and i've never felt this much pain in my life. I've cried myself to sleep almost every night, and man do i feel like a wimp to be crying over some girl. Never done that before... Wow.

 

I just need some insight, and i need someone to help me out.

 

I hope one day she changes, or maybe not? She was with this guy for 3 years, so it has to be possible for her to stay committed right? I just dont know right now. I need help.

[Kristine]

You have to let her go, right now she needs freedom. She's been in a relationship no matter how she really feels. She is showing she is simply not in the minset to be in another. If it's love she will return, if not it wasn't meant to be.

 

I'll add if you stay she will lose respect for you and you will deal with her cheating behavior for however long you are together.

[Sandrino]

You have to let her go, right now she needs freedom. She's been in a relationship no matter how she really feels. She is showing she is simply not in the minset to be in another. If it's love she will return, if not it wasn't meant to be.

 

I'll add if you stay she will lose respect for you and you will deal with her cheating behavior for however long you are together.

 

Is it fair what she did? Was it my fault for putting myself through it for so long? I just dont understand that if she begged for me back and wanted it to work, then why do the same crap over again?

[Gloria25]

You're in your 20's, this girl is still a teenager....

 

You will meet more girls - you have decades to do this. Please leave the kids to play. Guys/girls will not be the same at 20, 25, even 30.

 

BTW, what else do you have going on? You seem to be putting all your energy and self-worth in an immature, troubled child (your gf).

 

Do you have a job, friends, hobbies, college/school, church, family?

 

Maybe having some interests to keep you busy, meet great people, and raise your self-esteem you can have a happier life.

 

I just don't see how living every waking moment wondering where someone is, if they're seeing other people is enriching your life.

[Sandrino]

You're in your 20's, this girl is still a teenager....

 

You will meet more girls - you have decades to do this. Please leave the kids to play. Guys/girls will not be the same at 20, 25, even 30.

 

BTW, what else do you have going on? You seem to be putting all your energy and self-worth in an immature, troubled child (your gf).

 

Do you have a job, friends, hobbies, college/school, church, family?

 

Maybe having some interests to keep you busy, meet great people, and raise your self-esteem you can have a happier life.

 

I just don't see how living every waking moment wondering where someone is, if they're seeing other people is enriching your life.

 

But does her age really explain her actions? I just want to know if im to blame here. I'm constantly trying to find ways to figure out why everything happened.

[Gloria25]

But does her age really explain her actions? I just want to know if im to blame here. I'm constantly trying to find ways to figure out why everything happened.

 

It's a combo of age and her character. Did you know people can determine sociopathy in children? 17 is literally a few years from coming out of puberty - a child a few years ago with an child's brain.

 

When I was 17, I wasn't jumping from bed, to bed, to bed and playing "trick" with guys. I was working several jobs, working hard on my grades in high school and seeing one guy.

 

So, regardless of the immaturity associated with age, she appears to have a lack of morals and character that will well follow her for years to come.

[IMGunnaHurl]

So you found out she's a slut, and you want to yell at her for it? Bro don't! All that does is help her to justify her actions and look at you as wuss.

 

Look at it this way bro. She cheated for a reason probably because you were being possessive or showing signs of jealousy long before this. So to end it on a confirmation that she was right afterall makes it so much harder for you to overcome the lack of confidence and hot chick hating you will no doubt feel. This will result in many ex gf jackoff sessions that will lower your confidence and libido (sex drive) making it very difficult to attract girls to your place.

 

Websters definition of indifference: lack of interest, concern, or sympathy.

 

THE SOLUTION:

Be an indifference pro... learn to not give a crap and don't F it up buy beatin' off and fantasizing about her. Keep your libido intact. This is the best damn advice I can give you. It works bro. Once you have achieved this get yourself a slutty girlfriend or go to strip club and meet a few chicks, make friends with them and have them over to your house or apartment once in a while. A house full of semi sluty to full on sluty girls would be fun for you and a constant distraction for your ex. Ok 2 sluts (girls who like guys) in your apartment and she will find the competition overwhelming. I hooked up with a sweet girl I met at an algebra tutor session at my community college once. She turned out to be great in bed and she was always wrapping her hand around my manhood. You see she had this thing where her eyes were permanently crossed and so it help her to maintain her balance by holding, well anyway she was hot and cute and it pissed off my exgf big time.

 

Seriously though, all slutty chicks aside you need to learn to be indifferent towards her and her ways. Indifference will give you confidence and self esteem and leaving your tool alone will help you to master indifference and mastering indifference will fill your life with girls, crossed eyed sluts and ex sluts alike.

 

 

Don't Get Mad Bro, Get Indifferent!

Edited December 24, 2014 by IMGunnaHurl

[Satu]

She's a child, and you're only just an adult.

 

How can you think that the relationship could go anywhere?

 

She's too young.

[Sandrino]

So you found out she's a slut, and you want to yell at her for it? Bro don't! All that does is help her to justify her actions and look at you as wuss.

 

Look at it this way bro. She cheated for a reason probably because you were being possessive or showing signs of jealousy long before this. So to end it on a confirmation that she was right afterall makes it so much harder for you to overcome the lack of confidence and hot chick hating you will no doubt feel. This will result in many ex gf jackoff sessions that will lower your confidence and libido (sex drive) making it very difficult to attract girls to your place.

 

Websters definition of indifference: lack of interest, concern, or sympathy.

 

THE SOLUTION:

Be an indifference pro... learn to not give a crap and don't F it up buy beatin' off and fantasizing about her. Keep your libido intact. This is the best damn advice I can give you. It works bro. Once you have achieved this get yourself a slutty girlfriend or go to strip club and meet a few chicks, make friends with them and have them over to your house or apartment once in a while. A house full of semi sluty to full on sluty girls would be fun for you and a constant distraction for your ex. Ok 2 sluts (girls who like guys) in your apartment and she will find the competition overwhelming. I hooked up with a sweet girl I met at an algebra tutor session at my community college once. She turned out to be great in bed and she was always wrapping her hand around my manhood. You see she had this thing where her eyes were permanently crossed and so it help her to maintain her balance by holding, well anyway she was hot and cute and it pissed off my exgf big time.

 

Seriously though, all slutty chicks aside you need to learn to be indifferent towards her and her ways. Indifference will give you confidence and self esteem and leaving your tool alone will help you to master indifference and mastering indifference will fill your life with girls, crossed eyed sluts and ex sluts alike.

 

 

Don't Get Mad Bro, Get Indifferent!

 

Being indifferent will not take her thoughts of her ex out of her mind. I think your jumping the gun, trying to explain a situation that isnt mine. Showing lack of interest in her talking to her ex or not caring is not going to stop her from doing it. Then she'll probably just cheat anyways. Idk about you, but if you allow a girl to talk to her ex and show "indifference" thats just giving her the ok to do it, and thats not ok. She approached me in the beginning and wanted to start a relationship with ME. Showing lack of interest and demanding respect are two different things. If a girl wants to be with you, an ex boyfriend should not be involved in any way shape or form.

[Satu]

Being indifferent will not take her thoughts of her ex out of her mind. I think your jumping the gun, trying to explain a situation that isnt mine. Showing lack of interest in her talking to her ex or not caring is not going to stop her from doing it. Then she'll probably just cheat anyways. Idk about you, but if you allow a girl to talk to her ex and show "indifference" thats just giving her the ok to do it, and thats not ok. She approached me in the beginning and wanted to start a relationship with ME. Showing lack of interest and demanding respect are two different things. If a girl wants to be with you, an ex boyfriend should not be involved in any way shape or form.

 

Then according to your own logic, she doesn't want to be with you.

 

QED.

[Sandrino]

Then according to your own logic, she doesn't want to be with you.

 

QED.

 

What i dont understand is why she would always beg for me back, say she misses me and crap, but then do the same old bull sht over again. She always texted me first, always wanted to hang out and talk. She even got mad at me one day for not texting her enough. So i cant be possessive.. If anything, she was. I was just tired of breaking up, and was trying as hard as i could to make it work. Thats when i annoyed her. Trying to talk about our issues and she never wanted to. Is it really my fault she cheated?

 

And ImGunnaHurl, jealousy with the fact that she was talking to her ex is a bit unfair of a way to explain it. Its not fair to bring the past into a new relationship. Thats just disrespectful to the person your in it with.

Edited December 24, 2014 by Sandrino

[Satu]

The relationship is just not viable.

 

You're wasting your time.

 

Let it go.

[Sandrino]

The relationship is just not viable.

 

You're wasting your time.

 

Let it go.

 

Can you explain why? And could i have prevented it?

[Satu]

Can you explain why? And could i have prevented it?

 

Your expectations of her are completely unrealistic.

 

She is a child with the emotions of a child.

 

No, you couldn't have prevented it.

[IMGunnaHurl]

I realize that having someone you have strong feelings for, who you have experienced some things with never before experienced until now, who has connected with you even relied on you and needed you, to have this person you really care for going back and forth between an ex and you has got to be devastating. I have had my share of seemingly unending sadness at times in my life. Always around the holidays too... I understand how you feel bro I do. Let me ask you and tell me the truth. You say it has been no contact for 3 weeks. Have you at any time in last 3 weeks attempted to call her or text her maybe even blown up her phone and left long messages? Or has it been total silence, no contact both sides. At your age I would be blowing up her phone, crying to her AND crawling through her back yard. Also does she live with her parents?

 

Being indifferent to her, whether to her going back to her ex or making up with you is exactly my advice: Act as though you could care less about her, period. Even though you love her. And when she does contact you don't go running to the door or phone or anything. I mean ignore her don't respond and if she gets to you somehow let her do ALL the talking and then tell her you got somewhere to go. Tell her you have a date whether you do or not. Anything to cut short the conversation. Don't cry to her don't beg instead tell her you got plans and you will call her later and then don't call, AT ALL. I know this is what you don't want to hear but listen to me. If you do not get mad, yell, accuse or anything like that to when she calls she will instantly be more attracted to you even miss you. If you don't let her "back in" to your life or talk you in to making up, if you stop all calls texts letters etc and I mean Christmas comes and goes and New Years comes and goes she never sees a text or message from you again, then you have taken your first step to winning her back permanently.

 

Will this be easy? No way man... Even when she gets mad at you for not texting don't reply to her complaint. Go about your business. You do all this and I promise things will start going your way.

 

Do you think the Ex guy is sleeping with other girls and that is why she keeps going back. All I want to do is help you get to a place where what you have to offer is better than what the ex has and sometimes that means making your gal think that if she is not with you then she will be missing out.

 

BTW how old is the EX guy? Also being indifferent to her going back to an ex of a 3 year relationship is ok almost expected though no less painful. But if the ex was an ex of only a 2 month relationship then I would be like you and say to her, "Effin A if your going back to him." Do you understand the difference?

Edited December 24, 2014 by IMGunnaHurl

[IMGunnaHurl]

Your expectations of her are completely unrealistic.

 

She is a child with the emotions of a child.

 

No, you couldn't have prevented it.

But 20 ain't much older. Look one of my first loves was with a girl from a hugely religious and overbearing family structure. The parents were intent on making sure their daughters had no relationship experiences until the 2 months after marriage, no less than 7 years after graduation from highschool. Well her parents had one problem, she was cute, long legs and the most unbelievable pair of tits you ever saw. It was secret and taboo and ended after two years and I embarrassed myself over it trying to get her back. And at those ages there really is no other way it can go: Needy, immaturity, low self esteem, angry family, broken promises, sadness pains that seem to be an eternity but are really only a month in duration. I didn't marry until 38 and that hasn't made it fool proof. At any age heartache is heartache.

[Sandrino]

I realize that having someone you have strong feelings for, who you have experienced some things with never before experienced until now, who has connected with you even relied on you and needed you, to have this person you really care for going back and forth between an ex and you has got to be devastating. I have had my share of seemingly unending sadness at times in my life. Always around the holidays too... I understand how you feel bro I do. Let me ask you and tell me the truth. You say it has been no contact for 3 weeks. Have you at any time in last 3 weeks attempted to call her or text her maybe even blown up her phone and left long messages? Or has it been total silence, no contact both sides. At your age I would be blowing up her phone, crying to her AND crawling through her back yard. Also does she live with her parents?

 

Being indifferent to her, whether to her going back to her ex or making up with you is exactly my advice: Act as though you could care less about her, period. Even though you love her. And when she does contact you don't go running to the door or phone or anything. I mean ignore her don't respond and if she gets to you somehow let her do ALL the talking and then tell her you got somewhere to go. Tell her you have a date whether you do or not. Anything to cut short the conversation. Don't cry to her don't beg instead tell her you got plans and you will call her later and then don't call, AT ALL. I know this is what you don't want to hear but listen to me. If you do not get mad, yell, accuse or anything like that to when she calls she will instantly be more attracted to you even miss you. If you don't let her "back in" to your life or talk you in to making up, if you stop all calls texts letters etc and I mean Christmas comes and goes and New Years comes and goes she never sees a text or message from you again, then you have taken your first step to winning her back permanently.

 

Will this be easy? No way man... Even when she gets mad at you for not texting don't reply to her complaint. Go about your business. You do all this and I promise things will start going your way.

 

Do you think the Ex guy is sleeping with other girls and that is why she keeps going back. All I want to do is help you get to a place where what you have to offer is better than what the ex has and sometimes that means making your gal think that if she is not with you then she will be missing out.

 

BTW how old is the EX guy? Also being indifferent to her going back to an ex of a 3 year relationship is ok almost expected though no less painful. But if the ex was an ex of only a 2 month relationship then I would be like you and say to her, "Effin A if your going back to him." Do you understand the difference?

 

I'm just not quite understanding what your saying. So, i should get her back? Even though she cheated? Sounds like to me, her behavior isnt her fault and it all lies down to me not being indifferent to her, and maybe if i was, she wouldnt have cheated. I understand not to talk to her, and yes i have not talked to her AT ALL during the 3 weeks of us going No Contact. But it really seems like to me, that her cheating is ok to you.

 

I really loved this girl. I never begged for her back. ONly the last time we broke up is when i begged. I was just so tired of breaking up. I even told her, i said dont beg for me back if your just going to tell me to leave you alone within a couple of weeks. Dont beg for me back, if your just gonna still talk to your ex and then act like a bitch to where i have to break up with you.

 

Has it also occured to you the the amount of time that they have invested into each other is something that could be taken into worth? They were together 3 years, she was with me for 8 months. I remember her saying that she was so used to him, and she doesnt know what she wants.

 

I just want to get what your saying. Her ex is 19. He has been in a relationship with someone else while i was dating her, and yeah i do think it made her jealous. But who cares. She cheated on me.. Is that really me to blame?

Edited December 24, 2014 by Sandrino

[Sandrino]

Still looking for some feedback.

[IMGunnaHurl]

I'm just not quite understanding what your saying. So, i should get her back? Even though she cheated? Sounds like to me, her behavior isnt her fault and it all lies down to me not being indifferent to her, and maybe if i was, she wouldnt have cheated. I understand not to talk to her, and yes i have not talked to her AT ALL during the 3 weeks of us going No Contact. But it really seems like to me, that her cheating is ok to you.

 

I really loved this girl. I never begged for her back. ONly the last time we broke up is when i begged. I was just so tired of breaking up. I even told her, i said dont beg for me back if your just going to tell me to leave you alone within a couple of weeks. Dont beg for me back, if your just gonna still talk to your ex and then act like a bitch to where i have to break up with you.

 

Has it also occured to you the the amount of time that they have invested into each other is something that could be taken into worth? They were together 3 years, she was with me for 8 months. I remember her saying that she was so used to him, and she doesnt know what she wants.

 

I just want to get what your saying. Her ex is 19. He has been in a relationship with someone else while i was dating her, and yeah i do think it made her jealous. But who cares. She cheated on me.. Is that really me to blame?

 

I have more to say but it being xmas eve and my two kids + one assed up wife.... If you want her back for good I can tell you how to do it. If you want an apartment full of bangin' hot chicks that will cook and clean and make your GF hella jealous to the pint of never leave again I can help there too. Don't put up with her going back and forth but stop gripping about it too cuz right now your pile of chips is much smaller than his. Besides didn't you say that you were a rebound hookup? Yes you did so man up to it and she will notice the next time you talk. I mean really man up bro. This is where being a master at indifference comes in. So how would you like it to go?

 

And no I don't like liars and cheaters are liars. So if she continues to lie to you that is unacceptable. Even to just be friends requires that you have honesty between you. So be a dude who she can tell the truth to first and most importantly. What do you think?

[IMGunnaHurl]

Dude I literally wrote 3 full replies and hit a back button programmed on my gaming mouse and whiped it out.

[IMGunnaHurl]

She is going to be max impressed by a guy who has money, job, stuff, nice apartment, dance chick friends that are just friends, who is busy most of the time and doesn't always have time to see her. You don't have a clue what she is doing neither should she have a clue about what you are doing. Be her friend. She knows that she can go back to you anytime the hit ****s the fan. And you will take her back. For a 17 year old that is exciting for about maybe 20 minutes max. And it may explain why she doesn't call (you did beg last time right?) One thing you will never do again right?

[Sandrino]

She is going to be max impressed by a guy who has money, job, stuff, nice apartment, dance chick friends that are just friends, who is busy most of the time and doesn't always have time to see her. You don't have a clue what she is doing neither should she have a clue about what you are doing. Be her friend. She knows that she can go back to you anytime the hit ****s the fan. And you will take her back. For a 17 year old that is exciting for about maybe 20 minutes max. And it may explain why she doesn't call (you did beg last time right?) One thing you will never do again right?

 

The thing is, i have a full time job, a very nice vehicle, a future. And the ex boyfriend doesnt have a vehicle, a good job, or a future, yet hes so much more attractive to her. I dont want to feel like i have to compete with this guy. She made the decision on picking me. She wanted ME. She approached ME! Then she cheated on me with him. I still dont understand your logic. You seem to be completely seeing through the fact that she cheated. So im supposed to believe that if i be "indifferent" she'll just cure herself and never cheat again? She'll just change herself, and not want to cheat? Have you ever heard of the saying "A cheater is always a cheater"? I dont want to think that if i dont have girls that she has to compete with is fair. Thats the whole point of a relationship. To be with her, and only her. She shouldnt have to compete, because thats just rude and disrespectful..

 

I saw issues that arose within the first couple of dates that we had. He would call her and try talk to her while i was at her house. Within the first couple of dates! Thats a bit messed up on her part, and the fact that you seem to be defending her, and calling me possessive, is a bit unfair. Thats just disrespectful. If i were to act "indifferent" about that, she would continue doing it, and it would go all to hell anyways.

Edited December 26, 2014 by Sandrino

[Gloria25]

The thing is, i have a full time job, a very nice vehicle, a future. And the ex boyfriend doesnt have a vehicle, a good job, or a future, yet hes so much more attractive to her. I dont want to feel like i have to compete with this guy. She made the decision on picking me. She wanted ME. She approached ME! Then she cheated on me with him. I still dont understand your logic. You seem to be completely seeing through the fact that she cheated. So im supposed to believe that if i be "indifferent" she'll just cure herself and never cheat again? She'll just change herself, and not want to cheat? Have you ever heard of the saying "A cheater is always a cheater"? I dont want to think that if i dont have girls that she has to compete with is fair. Thats the whole point of a relationship. To be with her, and only her. She shouldnt have to compete, because thats just rude and disrespectful..

 

I saw issues that arose within the first couple of dates that we had. He would call her and try talk to her while i was at her house. Within the first couple of dates! Thats a bit messed up on her part, and the fact that you seem to be defending her, and calling me possessive, is a bit unfair. Thats just disrespectful. If i were to act "indifferent" about that, she would continue doing it, and it would go all to hell anyways.

 

Ok, here's the down and dirrrrty - There are the "nice" guys (the guys with their stuff together, who are always there for the chicks).

 

Then, there are the guys that immature females go to cuz they take no crap and are "exciting" - the "bad boys" if you will.

 

When the bad boys are done pumping-and-dumping these females, these females go crawling back to the "nice" guys.

 

Or better yet, some wise - yet immature chicks - keep the "nice" guy and bang the "bad boys" behind the "nice" guy's back.

 

I'll tell you a story. One guy, trying to get back with his ex wife...wanted to prove he's gonna do everything to please this manipulative chick. He, would go and watch the kids - so she could go out and have some "girl time". Mind you, do you think she respected him for being such a "nice guy"? Nope, she moved in some younger guy into "their home".

 

So, keep on being the "nice guy" and see how far that gets people.

 

BTW, there's a difference between "nice" and "good" guy. Of course women want a good guy. We want a guy with his stuff together and is a gentleman (a "good guy"). We don't want a doormat (a "nice guy").

 

A nice guy/gal begs, pleads...is desperate. He agrees to everything. He'll take what he can get. Men, women, pets (yes, even your dog) do not respect "nice" people.

 

A good guy commands respect. He isn't gonna treat a "ho" like a "lady". He just doesn't "get" with any girl cuz she showed him attention. He's a gentleman, but not a pushover.

[Sandrino]

Ok, here's the down and dirrrrty - There are the "nice" guys (the guys with their stuff together, who are always there for the chicks).

 

Then, there are the guys that immature females go to cuz they take no crap and are "exciting" - the "bad boys" if you will.

 

When the bad boys are done pumping-and-dumping these females, these females go crawling back to the "nice" guys.

 

Or better yet, some wise - yet immature chicks - keep the "nice" guy and bang the "bad boys" behind the "nice" guy's back.

 

I'll tell you a story. One guy, trying to get back with his ex wife...wanted to prove he's gonna do everything to please this manipulative chick. He, would go and watch the kids - so she could go out and have some "girl time". Mind you, do you think she respected him for being such a "nice guy"? Nope, she moved in some younger guy into "their home".

 

So, keep on being the "nice guy" and see how far that gets people.

 

BTW, there's a difference between "nice" and "good" guy. Of course women want a good guy. We want a guy with his stuff together and is a gentleman (a "good guy"). We don't want a doormat (a "nice guy").

 

A nice guy/gal begs, pleads...is desperate. He agrees to everything. He'll take what he can get. Men, women, pets (yes, even your dog) do not respect "nice" people.

 

A good guy commands respect. He isn't gonna treat a "ho" like a "lady". He just doesn't "get" with any girl cuz she showed him attention. He's a gentleman, but not a pushover.

 

So are you stating that i WAS too nice to her? Thats why she went back to her ex? Maybe i gave her too much and she missed being treated poorly, so she went back to her scumbag of a boyfriend?

 

What a piece of a sht i am for treated women nicely. Looks like im screwed then, because its just not in my nature to be a bad boy. I was raised to be good. Unfortunately. Im just a lost cause i guess.

[Gloria25]

So are you stating that i WAS too nice to her? Thats why she went back to her ex? Maybe i gave her too much and she missed being treated poorly, so she went back to her scumbag of a boyfriend?

 

What a piece of a sht i am for treated women nicely. Looks like im screwed then, because its just not in my nature to be a bad boy. I was raised to be good. Unfortunately. Im just a lost cause i guess.

 

OMG, dude, from what you posted here - she wouldn't know a good man if he slapped her upside the head. She's a child who likes to play games.

 

And, please re-read my post. There's a difference between "nice" and "good" guys. Please try to see the difference.

 

Nice guy = Doormat

 

Good guy = Commands respect, gentleman, demonstrates "strength" -women (not children) want that.

 

And, seems like you want to blame yourself, the other guy, the sun, the moon - everything except for "her".

 

Dude, like I said, at her age - 17 - I wasn't "tricking" guys. I, even back then, did not get "thrills" off of jumping in and out of bed with dudes and f-ing with dudes heads. I concentrated on school, graduated top 10% of the whole school - despite a language barrier. Ok....

 

This chick does not appear to have any character and morality, regardless of her immaturity and age. So, you could be the best thing that would happen for her - doesn't matter. She doesn't want it. Or, playing devil's advocate here - even "if" you did something to make her want to date others, you've been trying and trying and she doesn't want it. So you tried, maybe it's time to take what you learned and apply it to someone else.