GG3 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I started dating a man about a month and a half ago. Things had been going really really well and we both seemed to be falling for each other. We have known each other for a while as acquaintances and recently started dating. (I used to work with him at another company.) Just last Saturday he got a call from a woman he says he had had an off-on relationship with for the past two years. They had called it quits again before I came along because they had a hard time seeing each other with their schedules because they both have kids. She told him that she is pregnant with his child and she's sure it's his. He is 46. I don't know how old she is other than she is older than me. I'm 35. What are the odds this woman is making this up? The timing is too weird and being that it doesn't sound like they could have been sleeping together that often and she was supposedly on the pill. He says he doesn't think it's fake. Now we aren't seeing each other. He said he needs to work out this other situation first because he doesn't know if he can stand to have another child and not see it everyday. I'm heartbroken. I asked if he was in love with her and he said he didn't think so because of how he feels about me.
stillafool Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I doubt a woman her age is making this up. It only takes one time to get pregnant. There are women who take the pill and still end up pregnant. My nephew got a girl pregnant that he was casually dating. He wanted the child badly and when the baby was born he saw what a great mother she was to his child, fell head over heels in love with her, bought a big house and are now planning a wedding.
spiderowl Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I'm really sorry. I'm sure that is a real bombshell and the last thing any woman would want to hear when starting out in a new relationship. I don't know how well you know this guy. Have you met any of his friends or family yet? Are you going by what he alone says about previous relationships and his life in general? There are a few possibilities that come to mind: It could all be true and now he's realising he has responsibilities. He could have been lying about leaving his other relationship and maintaining one with you and the other woman. He could just be looking for an excuse to break up. You know, I think I'd be doing some digging into his background now, just to get things clear in my head, but regardless of this he is breaking up with you. You are genuine and loving - you deserve better than being messed around like this. Put this guy and his 'issues' behind you as best you can and be careful to find out more about the next guy you date.
Satu Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It's more likely to be true than untrue. Not many people would lie about something as big as that.
Gloria25 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I'm sorry what happened to you, but there's always a bright side when it comes to things. In this case, be thankful you found this out like two months into being with this guy than later. You've only been with him two months, you'll be over him. He can go back to his ex and have 10 rugrats for all I care. Wish them the best - they deserve each other. 1
Author GG3 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 I hadn't been introduced yet but we were talking about it. We were still very early stages of dating but getting serious. I was very blindsided by this.
ponchsox Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 You're BF is going to be flat broke for 18+ years. Be prepared.
stillafool Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 You're BF is going to be flat broke for 18+ years. Be prepared. Lucky for her he isn't her bf anymore so she has no worries.
Author GG3 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 You're BF is going to be flat broke for 18+ years. Be prepared. Yeah you aren't kidding. He has two from a previous marriage he pays child support on. Now this and this woman already has two kids. I asked him "Are you going to buy a bigger house and live with 5 kids now?" I don't know what she does for a living but I would imagine he is going to incur more costs from her other kids as well. Assuming all of this actually comes to pass.
Author GG3 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 Lucky for her he isn't her bf anymore so she has no worries. It also really hurt the way he ended things with me instead of making sure she really is pregnant. I felt like that was very impulsive.
spiderowl Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It also really hurt the way he ended things with me instead of making sure she really is pregnant. I felt like that was very impulsive. Just gives me the feeling that he isn't telling you the whole truth about his previous relationship having ended. Drifted apart could mean she dumped him or that they were still actually together. Until you know someone's friends and family, you don't know anything about their track record with honesty.
Diezel Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 He says he doesn't think it's fake. That's all you need to hear to move on.
Gloria25 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I hadn't been introduced yet but we were talking about it. We were still very early stages of dating but getting serious. I was very blindsided by this. Introduced? For what? You're someone he's only been seeing for two months. I know it's tough out there in the dating world, but I'm sure you realize what you are setting yourself up for, right? Also, I don't know, I'd be weary of a "male" at his age who had an "oops" pregnancy and is capable of being on/off with the same person for years. I mean, either he's cool with using women as a blow-up doll with a pulse, and/or he has an "obsession" with her, and/or she's the psycho ex that won't go away and now that she has a child with him, trust me even "if" you two kick it off she will drain both of you legally, financially, and emotionally with that kid for the next 18 years.
organizedchaos Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 It's more likely to be true than untrue. Not many people would lie about something as big as that. Perhaps, but that doesn't mean it's his. He should get a paternity test.
Omei Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 I doubt a woman her age is making this up. It only takes one time to get pregnant. There are women who take the pill and still end up pregnant. My nephew got a girl pregnant that he was casually dating. He wanted the child badly and when the baby was born he saw what a great mother she was to his child, fell head over heels in love with her, bought a big house and are now planning a wedding. Lol dude !!! Kinda uhhh I don't know if OP wants to hear someone else's happy ending 1
Recommended Posts