AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 An old high school crush is moving back to town. She'll come here for Christmas and then start her job in January. We had a lengthy conversation yesterday on facebook and she's agreed to go out with me on Saturday. I was thinking of taking her out midday, at around 12. The kicker comes in the evening. I was thinking of maybe going to some hotel bars and trying my luck at night after the date. I'm not really expecting sex on the first date anyway since it's been so long that we've seen each other. I'm just thinking whether or not this seems appropriate?
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 If you're not in an exclusive relationship then it can't be considered cheating. Whether or not it's "appropriate" is a whole other matter. 2
Gloria25 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 How does this chick being someone you knew from high school a factor in you trying to get with her? So, lemme get this right, a female - depending on how/where/when/why you met her gets on a "scale" of what you feel you're entitled to do with them? So, if that person was your "first" and/or met you in elementary school means that anytime they come around, you're supposed to lay out the red carpet? If you're dating someone right now, exclusive or not, why don't you ask them what their opinion is about you meeting up with your high school "friend"?
Author AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 How does this chick being someone you knew from high school a factor in you trying to get with her? So, lemme get this right, a female - depending on how/where/when/why you met her gets on a "scale" of what you feel you're entitled to do with them? So, if that person was your "first" and/or met you in elementary school means that anytime they come around, you're supposed to lay out the red carpet? If you're dating someone right now, exclusive or not, why don't you ask them what their opinion is about you meeting up with your high school "friend"? I don't understand.
Gloria25 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I don't understand. My point is, your conduct, regardless of whether or not this was a woman you met on OLD or someone you dated in the past, or someone who took your virginity, or someone who was your best friend, etc - doesn't change the fact that it's not cool if you're dating someone right now. I mean you felt it was necessary to mention that this chick was your "high school crush", so how her being your "high school crush" influences your decision as to whether or not this constitutes cheating?
Author AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 My point is, your conduct, regardless of whether or not this was a woman you met on OLD or someone you dated in the past, or someone who took your virginity, or someone who was your best friend, etc - doesn't change the fact that it's not cool if you're dating someone right now. I mean you felt it was necessary to mention that this chick was your "high school crush", so how her being your "high school crush" influences your decision as to whether or not this constitutes cheating? The high school crush has nothing to do with it, just some background information. Just a girl I knew who finally agreed to go on a date with me. The point of the hotel bar was to try to lose my virginity since I haven't yet.
preraph Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I think what everyone wants to know is: Do you have a girlfriend? Because if you do, then yes, it would be cheating to go out with this girl.
Author AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 I think what everyone wants to know is: Do you have a girlfriend? Because if you do, then yes, it would be cheating to go out with this girl. No I don't, just a woman who has agreed to go with me on a first date, who I know from a while back.
somecamel Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 An old high school crush is moving back to town. She'll come here for Christmas and then start her job in January. We had a lengthy conversation yesterday on facebook and she's agreed to go out with me on Saturday. I was thinking of taking her out midday, at around 12. The kicker comes in the evening. I was thinking of maybe going to some hotel bars and trying my luck at night after the date. I'm not really expecting sex on the first date anyway since it's been so long that we've seen each other. I'm just thinking whether or not this seems appropriate? Ok So you must be single as you're basically hedging your bets with the old high school crush not putting out by planning to hit some bars after/If the date finishes early right? Ok, so the what are you expecting from this? You say you've had some lengthy conversations with this girl, what's the plans for the meet up? You sound like you just want sex and chances are if you and the old crush have reconnected and she's possibly relationship material, you don't want to be tapping that on the first night, hence I imagine the basis of your question as to whether this is cheating if you then go and look for hooks ups in Hotel Bars? I think I may have confused myself as well:P
Author AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 What's the rush? I'm 26. Most people had sex when they were 16. I'm 10 years late.
somecamel Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I'm 26. Most people had sex when they were 16. I'm 10 years late. Well dude, don't go to Hotel bars looking for it. If you're sweet on this girl, show her you're interested but don't start pushing for the sex straight away.
mysteryscape Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I'm just thinking whether or not this seems appropriate? Tell both of them -- the old high school crush and the prospective sex partner later in the night -- about your plan, and see what they think of it. After all, who better to judge -- you and they are the persons directly affected. I always think being honest with people about what you are doing is a good idea. If telling them makes you feel uncomfortable, there's probably a reason. 2
carhill Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 From my read, two separate issues - 1. WRT cheating. You can't cheat on someone you've made no commitments to. 2. WRT appropriate. That's a moral call. People do multi-date and, yup, have sex with one person whilst dating another. Some even have sex with multiple dating partners consecutively. The combinations are as varied as humans are. You'll have to make that decision for yourself. As an example, the crush who's showing up could have had sex with someone that morning, as could a lady you meet in the hotel bar. It happens and, from my chair, plenty in my generation when we were young. This will become more academic and less of a focused issue once you've moved beyond being a virgin. Remember, your crush is a regular person. No crowns, no pedestals. Human, with all human aspects. Guard against idolizing her. Good luck! 1
SomeDude16 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I'm 26. Most people had sex when they were 16. I'm 10 years late. A hotel bar isn't the place to do it.... If you want to go out that night it's fine, but extend the invitation to the high school friend. The date ends and you say, " hey, this was fun. If you are interested I was already planning on going to a few bars and you're more then welcome to come with me. There's this really great place that opened up a year ago and the vibe is awesome." Either she comes along and you further your connection with the possibility of landing a girlfriend and some constant sex, or you can bang the teacher in town for a conference once at the airport Marriott..., you're call. But don't limit yourself and trade down like you're doing.
somedude81 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I think what everyone wants to know is: Do you have a girlfriend? Because if you do, then yes, it would be cheating to go out with this girl. No I don't, just a woman who has agreed to go with me on a first date, who I know from a while back. Nope, if you aren't in a relationship with somebody, you are more than welcome to have sex with whomever you want. If during the first date, you two somehow decide to become exclusive, then you having sex with another woman would be cheating.
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