bf didn't invite me for xmas

[starla33]

So I've met my boyfriends family once before and hes met mine, however he didn't invite me with him for Xmas dinner.

 

Should I be offended. Can I ask him why? Or should I just assume he wants alone time with them

[anne1707]

Did you invite him to yours?

[Omei]

Well as you said he met yours also

 

Do you yourself not spend Christmas with your family? As he does his?

 

If so its safe to assume he didn't invite you because he doesn't expect you to leave your family for his

[Brooke02]

How long is your relationship?

[d0nnivain]

If he's not the host of Christmas dinner he doesn't have the power to invite you. Some families don't want other people around.

 

How long have you been together? If this is your 1st Christmas together, no you should not be offended. It may be too soon for intermixing families & holidays.

[Redhead14]

If he's not the host of Christmas dinner he doesn't have the power to invite you. Some families don't want other people around.

 

How long have you been together? If this is your 1st Christmas together, no you should not be offended. It may be too soon for intermixing families & holidays.

 

My SO and I are spending Xmas eve together and Xmas morning. Then we are going to be with each of our own families. It's been 6 months for us, and we are "official" but we made that our "own" special time. We did the same for Thanksgiving and it was terrific. I'd rather spend that precious alone time with him than with people I'm not that familiar with for now. I'd be uncomfortable in that setting now.

[starla33]

No my family does not celebrate so I will be all alone....

[starla33]

Well as you said he met yours also

 

Do you yourself not spend Christmas with your family? As he does his?

 

If so its safe to assume he didn't invite you because he doesn't expect you to leave your family for his

 

He knows I'm doing nothing and will be alone...

[Omei]

No my family does not celebrate so I will be all alone....

 

Well ask if you can come along tell him how your feeling about being alone.

 

If hes unable to invite you because he may be, suggest doing your own little Christmas together on a different day.

[starla33]

Well ask if you can come along tell him how your feeling about being alone.

 

If hes unable to invite you because he may be, suggest doing your own little Christmas together on a different day.

 

I don't want to ask. I want him to care enough to invite me

[Omei]

I don't want to ask. I want him to care enough to invite me

 

Ugh dont get me started I cant stand when woman act this way.

 

He's not a mind reader if you want something to come out of this communicate with him.

[losangelena]

I don't want to ask. I want him to care enough to invite me

 

Well, in a perfect world, our partners would all be aware enough to do what we consider to be the most kind, caring, perfect thing each and every time.

 

I totally understand that feeling, but by just waiting around and not asking, you're putting an expectation on him that he's bound to fall short of. Not only that, but you'll get resentful (it seems like you may be already), and it will become a much bigger deal than it is now. It's vulnerable, and pride-swallowing, but maybe, just maybe, you need to ask.

 

Are you afraid to ask because you don't want to know the answer?

[Redhead14]

I don't want to ask. I want him to care enough to invite me

 

If you think he's not doing it because he doesn't care enough, then why are you still with him? He should be showing you all along that he cares for you. If you are basing his level of caring for you around this kind of thing, something isn't right.

 

I do understand that you dont want to be alone and feel like you shouldn't have to be if you have someone in your life, however, you two are apparently not at the point where this is what should be happening.

 

You shouldn't ask him, but you can say, hey, I'd like it if we could spend some special time together around the holidays, like Christmas Eve and make a special dinner or even the day after. It's not about the specific day, it's how special you make it.

[Zahara]

He knows I'm doing nothing and will be alone...

 

If he knows that you will be alone, I'm wondering why he wouldn't invite you since you've already met his parents. When I was dating my ex, and it was fairly early into the relationship -- my ex and neither his parents wanted me to be alone so they were more than happy to have me.

 

Has he offered to at least put in some time with you on X'mas day/eve?

[stillafool]

How long have you been dating?

[starla33]

How long have you been dating?

 

Long enough to have already been to dinner with his parents

[Omei]

Unless your willing to communicate, ask or find out why do not expect your situation to be invited to change.

[Gloria25]

Long enough to have already been to dinner with his parents

 

Umm, it would help if you'd give us a timeframe to work with. I mean, some people think dating for 2 months means they're husband/wife already.

 

Did you ever consider cuz you don't celebrate, he didn't invite you?

 

Regardless of our responses here, communication is necessary between you two.

 

BTW, you're not Miley Cirus are you? I mean, I was soooo glad when Maria Shriver stood up to not inviting that flake to their home for the holidays. I would never have my son bring something like Miley Cirus to our home - ON ANY occasion. But then again Patrick, like his father, I guess he likes playing in the mud when it comes to women he sleeps with.

[starla33]

So you are saying its fine to ask? Some people on here don't seem to think so

 

 

Umm, it would help if you'd give us a timeframe to work with. I mean, some people think dating for 2 months means they're husband/wife already.

 

Did you ever consider cuz you don't celebrate, he didn't invite you?

 

Regardless of our responses here, communication is necessary between you two.

 

BTW, you're not Miley Cirus are you? I mean, I was soooo glad when Maria Shriver stood up to not inviting that flake to their home for the holidays. I would never have my son bring something like Miley Cirus to our home - ON ANY occasion. But then again Patrick, like his father, I guess he likes playing in the mud when it comes to women he sleeps with.

[losangelena]

Yes, ask. Tell him you'd like to go and ask.

[Purepony]

Sounds like a stupid move on his end.

Tell him your male.friend invited you over for Christmas and watch the sparks fly hehe

[Redhead14]

Long enough to have already been to dinner with his parents

 

Having dinner with his parents doesn't a relationship make. If you are dating less than a year, I wouldn't expect to be invited for the holidays. You may have had dinner with his parents after two months, that's not a commitment to have you to every family event.

 

Even if you two have declared that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, your lives are not and should not be so intertwined as to rely on each other for everything.

 

It may not even be up to him to have you there. I'd find someplace to go or a another girlfriend to spend it with. YOu must have other friends who know you would be alone. Ask one of them.

 

Not only that, you are not communicating with him. It is OK for you to say, hey, I wish I weren't spending Xmas alone, do you think your family would mind if I came along. See what he says. Has he specifically told you he's going there alone or are you assuming that? Maybe he's assuming you are going . . . just saying

[d0nnivain]

If you don't celebrate Christmas, it's just another day, then. What did you do on Christmas before you started dating him? Why can;t you do that again this year?

 

If he knows you do not celebrate Christmas perhaps he didn't ask you to be with his family because he didn't want to be perceived as shoving his religion down your throat. Do you know what his family does for the holiday? If part of their celebration is a Catholic Mass how are you going to feel about being taken to that?

 

You have a few choices here:

 

1. You can take the mature way & communicate to him that you would like an invitation to Christmas. Bear in mind, it might not be within his power to extend. It's one thing to ask his mom & dad if one more is OK. It's entirely another matter to ask his grandparents or some other relative.

 

2. You can pout because he didn't read your mind & correctly guess what you wanted.

 

3. You can do whatever you usually do on Christmas which you don't celebrate.

[GemmaUK]

If you've been together several months then just ask.

 

 

If it's weeks only..I would do my own thing and maybe see if you can get together Boxing Day.

[preraph]

No, you shouldn't say anything because taking home a woman for a major holiday is going to be considered a milestone by either the man or someone in his family. It's too soon. You're not family. Some people take that sort of thing really seriously. Others don't and just welcome random people into their home, knowing that next year, Junior will bring home yet another girl. But for some, it's tantamount to announcing engagement. He's not ready for stirring things up like that with his family and get them all prying is my guess.