spanishchick00 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 awhile back, I was talking to his guy on OLD. First thing he messaged, was that he wanted to add me on facebook. I was like um ok. I didn't want to, because I knew if he didn't like me he would delete me. Anyway, we met up for a drink, and there was nothing special about it. It was awkward. Told me he was gonna contact me, never did, after a few weeks, I guess he realized I was still his fb friend and he deleted me. I don't get the Facebook add? Then a few weeks later, I came across his profile on OLD and said something like he was looking to find the woman of his dreams. Yeah, apparently I wasn't the woman of his dreams.
mammasita Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 He added you to look at your pictures. Wasn't interested so he moved on, you should too. 5
losangelena Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 awhile back, I was talking to his guy on OLD. First thing he messaged, was that he wanted to add me on facebook. I was like um ok. I didn't want to, because I knew if he didn't like me he would delete me. Anyway, we met up for a drink, and there was nothing special about it. It was awkward. Told me he was gonna contact me, never did, after a few weeks, I guess he realized I was still his fb friend and he deleted me. I don't get the Facebook add? Then a few weeks later, I came across his profile on OLD and said something like he was looking to find the woman of his dreams. Yeah, apparently I wasn't the woman of his dreams. You can say no! You can always be like, "I'm only friends with my real friends on FB, sorry." If he gets upset, then BYE FELICIA, he can go have a nice life. OP, reading your posts about OLD, I get the sense that you're just kind of going along with whatever these dudes want, in terms of mode of communication, or how long to message, etc. Remember—YOU have control over your OLD experience. Not complete control, mind you, but you have a say in how it all pans out. A guy asking to add you on FB is not displaying some kind of genuine interest; keep the modes of methods of communication brief and limited before meeting. Otherwise, you run into problems like this. 3
Author spanishchick00 Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 You can say no! You can always be like, "I'm only friends with my real friends on FB, sorry." If he gets upset, then BYE FELICIA, he can go have a nice life. OP, reading your posts about OLD, I get the sense that you're just kind of going along with whatever these dudes want, in terms of mode of communication, or how long to message, etc. Remember—YOU have control over your OLD experience. Not complete control, mind you, but you have a say in how it all pans out. A guy asking to add you on FB is not displaying some kind of genuine interest; keep the modes of methods of communication brief and limited before meeting. Otherwise, you run into problems like this. Yeah, I do sometimes just go with whatever a guy says. Awhile back, I exchanged numbers with this guy and he just kept on texting and texting, then I asked him about his winter break and if he was going back to his hometown, he said yes, then I got pissed off and told me not to waste my time. He thought it was funny and claimed that he was busy with pharmacy school, a friends wedding, finals. I was like wtf? We have bee talking for a good 2 months. Geez. How hard is it to make time for at least a 1 hour coffee date?
okc85 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I'm a girl, and honestly, I've done the Facebook add with dates. It just gives you a better idea of their life, and I don't think it really means much. I ALWAYS 'defriend' after break ups. It is the only way to 'move on' from the person 100 percent (for me) and open myself up to someone new. But if you don't want to friend someone who is basically still a stranger, just be honest. I read your other OLD thread. I am wondering how old you are? and how long have you been dating? OLD can be really tough, or really fun, but you really have to try NOT to get attached to anyone until you know you have a commitment. It isn't 1960 anymore, and we live in a world of 'window shoppers.' Especially people in their 20s. Just try to relax and know that the right person WILL come around. 2
Gloria25 Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Yeah, I do sometimes just go with whatever a guy says. Awhile back, I exchanged numbers with this guy and he just kept on texting and texting, then I asked him about his winter break and if he was going back to his hometown, he said yes, then I got pissed off and told me not to waste my time. He thought it was funny and claimed that he was busy with pharmacy school, a friends wedding, finals. I was like wtf? We have bee talking for a good 2 months. Geez. How hard is it to make time for at least a 1 hour coffee date? If he's in school and this is his winter break, I don't see where he's obligated to make time for a 1 hr coffee date. I mean, like he said, he's taking this time to reconnect with friends, family, etc. Geesh... That's why I don't date around the holi-daze
Author spanishchick00 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 If he's in school and this is his winter break, I don't see where he's obligated to make time for a 1 hr coffee date. I mean, like he said, he's taking this time to reconnect with friends, family, etc. Geesh... That's why I don't date around the holi-daze Yeah, but still we were talking for a good 2 months. Why would he spend his precious minutes/hours/checking his OLD profile if he's too busy to meet up? Sure, he's got the time to go on OLD, send however many messages to how every many girls, but still can't make time???
D.Mc. Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Hi Spanishchick00, I don't know how long you've been doing OLD, but I think you are ready for a break. Either just don't go on the sites or hide your profile for a couple of weeks. Here it is: People lie on OLD...they lie in their profiles, they lie when emailing you back & forth on the site for a week, they lie when emailing your personal email for another week, they lie when you exchange #'s & begin to talk every day for another 2 weeks, & sighhhh - they even lie when they meet you face to face for a coffee or dinner or whatever (not for sex though, that's never a lie LOL). Males as well as females. It was harder to do all this lying before OLD, before internet "dating"...real life got in the way & tripped them up way earlier in the process. It's hard to NOT see each nice profile & series of messages/calls etc. as the beginning of something great, but...it is a numbers game. The more interactions you have via OLD the more it will become mundane to you...soon you won't even put on mascara for the 1st meet LOL! Also the more exposure you get will make the likelihood meeting a "good one" higher, but you have to take a break when it starts to bum you out. 2
losangelena Posted December 24, 2014 Posted December 24, 2014 Yep. OMG, OP, I had to cycle through 30 guys before I found a good one. 30! D.Mc is correct—you need to get yourself to place where you're more blasé about the whole thing, where flakey, pre-meeting behavior just rolls off your back. I'd advocate for a bit of a break, too. I never took one, and earlier this year, I was in such a bad place with dating that I thought getting into a FWB situation with a guy who takes/sells drugs was a viable life choice. Granted, having gone through that experience made me realize what a great catch my current guy is, so I guess it had some benefit, but I like to say that all I got out of that arrangement was a $70 parking ticket and a UTI. Don't get to that place, please.
Author spanishchick00 Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 Yep. OMG, OP, I had to cycle through 30 guys before I found a good one. 30! D.Mc is correct—you need to get yourself to place where you're more blasé about the whole thing, where flakey, pre-meeting behavior just rolls off your back. I'd advocate for a bit of a break, too. I never took one, and earlier this year, I was in such a bad place with dating that I thought getting into a FWB situation with a guy who takes/sells drugs was a viable life choice. Granted, having gone through that experience made me realize what a great catch my current guy is, so I guess it had some benefit, but I like to say that all I got out of that arrangement was a $70 parking ticket and a UTI. Don't get to that place, please. Yeah, I deleted my okcupid account. I just got sick and tired of it. I supposedly have other date line up, but I just feel indifferent about it.
shet Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I've had "women" suggest it and then found, when I examine their profiles, that there's evidence they're catfishes. Like some previous victim has managed to get them to like or join a "Catfish enthusiasts" group to warn us and the dumb **** is too foreign or stupid to know what it is so just hit yes. Long story short, you better not be a legitimate fan of fishing for catfish or fishing tackle.
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