Otter2569 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 A lot of people comment on my GF's body: friends, coworkers (men and women)... "I wish I had a body like yours", "Your boobs are huge", "Your boyfriend must really like those". Even she will say how big her breasts are. She does have a tremendous body (5' 117 lbs, 34DD) but she is also a warm, fun and deeply caring woman. My issue is that I really don't know what to say when she tells me this. I dont want to act jealous and I dont want to be like everyone else and talk about her boobs. I typically laugh it off or say she looks hot. I would appreciate a womans perspective on what I should say in this situation, if anything? Honestly I do not believe she is trying to make me jealous. She has gotten these comments her whole life so she is used to it. We've been dating exclusively for the last 8 months and have a very secure relationship.
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 A lot of people comment on my GF's body: friends, coworkers (men and women)... "I wish I had a body like yours", "Your boobs are huge", "Your boyfriend must really like those". Even she will say how big her breasts are. She does have a tremendous body (5' 117 lbs, 34DD) but she is also a warm, fun and deeply caring woman. My issue is that I really don't know what to say when she tells me this. I dont want to act jealous and I dont want to be like everyone else and talk about her boobs. I typically laugh it off or say she looks hot. I would appreciate a womans perspective on what I should say in this situation, if anything? Honestly I do not believe she is trying to make me jealous. She has gotten these comments her whole life so she is used to it. We've been dating exclusively for the last 8 months and have a very secure relationship. Frankly, if she mentions it once or twice, cool. You should just be pleased that she is so attractive. If she tells you every time, it's almost disrespectful and maybe a little bit conceited. If she does it often, I'd tell her you are uncomfortable with her telling you. You already know that other people find her attractive. What's her point in putting it in your face all the time? 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 What Redhead14 said but I would also add that if she continually makes you aware of how people admire her body, perhaps it's a sign of just how needy she is. She may be one of those women who requires a lot of affirmation to know she is indeed attractive. 4
ComingInHot Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Definitely a sign of insecurity if it is ongoing. It could be insecurity about herself or about you and the relationship. It could stem from the kind of relationships she had with her parents or siblings. Possibly certain incidents that happened when she was an impressionable teen. Maybe someone from a past relationship left her for someone who actually was NOT as physically attractive as her and that screwed with her head. I am just saying there can be many reasons why she has developed an insecurity with her appearance and some possessive encouragement may be all it takes to help her through. For example, when she brings these comments to your attention, grab her and say, something like, "They are RIGHT and it's all mine!" in a fun, nuzzle her neck kind of way. ...Or she is just really shallow and conceited and her entire self worth is made of these affirmations on her physical appearance which is scary because one day it will begin to fade... (you don't describe her like that though*) CiH* 1
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 A lot of people comment on my GF's body: friends, coworkers (men and women)... "I wish I had a body like yours", "Your boobs are huge", "Your boyfriend must really like those". Even she will say how big her breasts are. She's either conceited or extremely insecure. Honestly I do not believe she is trying to make me jealous. She has gotten these comments her whole life so she is used to it. We've been dating exclusively for the last 8 months and have a very secure relationship. People that are secure within themselves do not need to keep harping about it. Or she could just be so conceited that she loves announcing the attention she gets.
Author Otter2569 Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 Thanks Red, it really is a periodic thing. She even pokes fun at them (periodically) by saying they get in the way or they are too big. My better judgement told me not to feed into it with a typical guy comment. At at the same time I wasnt sure how to reply. I want her to know that I think she is hot not because she has big boobs but because she is an amazing woman. One of those gray areas LOL
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Thanks Red, it really is a periodic thing. She even pokes fun at them (periodically) by saying they get in the way or they are too big. My better judgement told me not to feed into it with a typical guy comment. At at the same time I wasnt sure how to reply. I want her to know that I think she is hot not because she has big boobs but because she is an amazing woman. One of those gray areas LOL Then just say . . . yep, you're gorgeous, but I've got the best part of you . . . you everytime. If she's being needy or insecure, the more she hears that, hopefully, the less you will hear about what the others say I might go a little further sometimes, and highlight the other things she has going for her, so as to take the focus off her body. 2
Author Otter2569 Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 Some very good points about insecurity. Her ex cheated on her and he sounds like he was a real jerk. After the feedback I really think its a security thing. She is also very good about freely giving me compliments so its definitely not one sided. ComingInHot - I am so going to do that!!!
losangelena Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I want her to know that I think she is hot not because she has big boobs but because she is an amazing woman. Oh, say that! Say exactly that. That's so affirming. My guy has been trying to bulk up a bit, and his workout buddy was saying the other day that he'd met his goal for the year. I told him later how proud I was of his accomplishment, and he said something like, "you wouldn't have liked me in February (when he started; we met in September)," and I said, "no, I think you were probably still funny and smart and kind (what I really like about him, not his muscles) back in February." He responded so positively to that. Tell your girl something similar. 1
Omei Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 I dont understand why she constantly needs to share I agree she likes the attention or is needy. Most people in relationships dismiss advances and spare their partner the details
preraph Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 If she's not fishing for compliments, then I'd be a little concerned she lets people cross those boundaries with her. Ask her: Are you fishing for a compliment? See what she says. She'll probably get in a tiff and say, NO, but everyone but you seems to like my body....at which time you say, Well, I do too, but that's not all I like about you and I think it's a little trashy to compliment women on their bodies."
todreaminblue Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 the compliments i hold close to me that have a lasting impression are this..... "i love your heart" i have had people tell me this and it truly touches me......i get compliments.....not so much that i am overweight now but i used to get so called compliments.......from men.....who would say whoah looking sexy deb...mmmm you look hot........or wolf whistles etc ...they dont mean much except maybe i should surely pull my top up to my neck......and my skirt down what i truly enjoy is the compliments that come from knowing me ....you say she is a warm deeply caring woman...that to me is beauty in its entirety...tell her you love her heart and touch the spirit of your gf with the big boobs........good luck....deb
seekingpeaceinlove Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 LOL. When I was fresh in my relationship with my bf I would always tell him about the comments men made or each time someone hit on me. I admit I was trying to make him jealous and keep him on his toes. Delving further...it was probably bc I was also insecure. I've long since stopped telling him as it really is immature and disrespectful and I have a bf who makes me feel like the most beautiful and sexiest woman alive. Not sure what your gf's intentions are but if it bothers you...say something!
Author Otter2569 Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 I tell her that I love her smile, her zest for life, her sense of humor and her spirit. That she is an amazing woman and that I am proud of her. Its not about her body or the sex (which is awesome), that is all just a bonus
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