Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Sounds like a messy situation - could it be that he felt used, not that, that would make his behavior toward you about paying the bill right, but i could understand the frustration especially if he thought the date went superbly.
BluEyeL Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Really ....why not if I may ask? @OP....I feel for you, but as someone else already mentioned up thread, dinner / movie for a meet n greet is always a bad idea. This is something you do after you have both decided that you want to see each other again. Oh, and it makes sense to split the bill or at least one of you takes care of the tip. I do a purse reach, but I don't insist. They always say 'll take care of it. I leave them the pleasure to feel like a man. The reason is that I know I'll have opportunities to reciprocate, and I find it un-romantic to split the bill like on a work lunch. When in a relationship, I take turns, we don't split like he's a colleague. If I don't like a guy, I know is going to be no opportunity for me to reciprocate so I insist. 2
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 Sounds like a messy situation - could it be that he felt used, not that, that would make his behavior toward you about paying the bill right, but i could understand the frustration especially if he thought the date went superbly. I understand his frustration too but you can't buy someone. If he offers to pay for something then he should do it without expecting something else. It's a bad attitude which will get him no where fast 2
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 yes, but still no straight answer here - one more time - what the it that you say i do not get? just say... Nevermind. Let's just agree to disagree 1
Tonic Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I understand his frustration too but you can't buy someone. If he offers to pay for something then he should do it without expecting something else. It's a bad attitude which will get him no where fast No i agree with you - and that's not what im getting at, i was just stating i could understand why he may be p#ssed off - but i certainly do not agree with how he handled the situation and assuming he did think you could buy someones affection, well thats just silly. He insisted on paying, you DID offer to contribute - That is completely on him
SomeDude16 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I do a purse reach, but I don't insist. They always say 'll take care of it. I leave them the pleasure to feel like a man. The reason is that I know I'll have opportunities to reciprocate, and I find it un-romantic to split the bill like on a work lunch. When in a relationship, I take turns, we don't split like he's a colleague. If I don't like a guy, I know is going to be no opportunity for me to reciprocate so I insist. This should be the standard for everyone. 1
somedude81 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Ha ha! This is why I will never have an expensive first date, especially with a stranger. It's just not worth it. If a woman insists on being wined and dined then I'm not going to bother with her.
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 Ha ha! This is why I will never have an expensive first date, especially with a stranger. It's just not worth it. If a woman insists on being wined and dined then I'm not going to bother with her. I didn't expect him to pick up the tab because it's just unheard of these days. People usually go Dutch. And that's what I expected us to do. I was actually surprised when he offered. I even made a comment about how unusual his gesture was. He puffed his chest out stating that he is an old fashioned gentleman. Old fashioned my ass 1
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 Out of my entire dating experience, only one man out of the numerous dates I have been on wouldn't let me pay for anything. ...And he didn't harass me for the money when there was no second date.
Tayken Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Would you ever go first in paying the bill, and then let the guy reciprocate? I ask because there is an assumption amongst some women that it's a man's job to take care of the bills and them. This is 2014 soon to be 2015....and hi-time some people start displaying some of those equality traits they've been asking for. I do a purse reach, but I don't insist. They always say 'll take care of it. I leave them the pleasure to feel like a man. The reason is that I know I'll have opportunities to reciprocate, and I find it un-romantic to split the bill like on a work lunch. When in a relationship, I take turns, we don't split like he's a colleague. If I don't like a guy, I know is going to be no opportunity for me to reciprocate so I insist.
somedude81 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I didn't expect him to pick up the tab because it's just unheard of these days. People usually go Dutch. And that's what I expected us to do. I was actually surprised when he offered. I even made a comment about how unusual his gesture was. He puffed his chest out stating that he is an old fashioned gentleman. Old fashioned my ass Yeah I'm much more comfortable with going Dutch on a first date. Unfortunately many women seem to be offended if a guy doesn't pay for everything. A woman actually made a thread where she offered to pay for half and was upset that the guy accepted. Though no question the guy is an ass and he thought that buying dimmer entitled him to a second date.
Tayken Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Yeah I'm much more comfortable with going Dutch on a first date. Unfortunately many women seem to be offended if a guy doesn't pay for everything. A woman actually made a thread where she offered to pay for half and was upset that the guy accepted. Though no question the guy is an ass and he thought that buying dimmer entitled him to a second date. Imagine establishing a relationship with this sort of woman, and trying to live a normal life? You know what is going to happen whenever she doesn't get things going her way 1
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Would you ever go first in paying the bill, and then let the guy reciprocate? I ask because there is an assumption amongst some women that it's a man's job to take care of the bills and them. This is 2014 soon to be 2015....and hi-time some people start displaying some of those equality traits they've been asking for. When I was dating back in the 80's I asked guys out, I paid for the date and insisted on it. So it's nothing new. I go by the policy, whom ever does the asking out, pays. I had np offering to pay half, depending on what type of date it was. But I'm an aggressive woman, I didn't always wait around for a guy to ask me out and all that crap. I took pleasure in picking up the check with anyone I'm out with, friend or date. 1
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Lets just all admit this guy was a frickin tool and has no clue about dating. 3
Tayken Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 When I was dating back in the 80's I asked guys out, I paid for the date and insisted on it. So it's nothing new. I go by the policy, whom ever does the asking out, pays. I had np offering to pay half, depending on what type of date it was. But I'm an aggressive woman, I didn't always wait around for a guy to ask me out and all that crap. I took pleasure in picking up the check with anyone I'm out with, friend or date. Now now.....you know yourself that girls / women these days think it's their God given right to be asked out. So if we are to go by your "policy", a man will be waiting in vain for a woman to pay the bill.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 This is 2014 soon to be 2015....and hi-time some people start displaying some of those equality traits they've been asking for. The quality we have been asking for is equal pay, equal job opportunities, and equality in sexuality choices. Dating is not part of those demands. Not everyone is on board, not even a lot men, with equality when it comes to dating. 1
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) Now now.....you know yourself that girls / women these days think it's their God given right to be asked out. So if we are to go by your "policy", a man will be waiting in vain for a woman to pay the bill. Then your answer is to be gay so there won't be any expectations. If you have an issue with women expecting you to pay....then don't bother dating because it is what it is. Edited December 25, 2014 by smackie9 1
Tayken Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 Then your answer is to be gay so there won't be any expectations. If you have an issue with women expecting you to pay....then don't bother dating because it is what it is. So you subscribe to the school of entitlement then? I mean I am not your mom or dad, why should I have to pay for an adult? You haven't provided an intelligent reason apart from your plain "it is what it is" Dating is not part of those demands. Not everyone is on board, not even a lot men, with equality when it comes to dating. Ah...so you want to pick and choose to please your situation? Good luck with that
rester Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 yes, but still no straight answer here - one more time - what the it that you say i do not get? just say... I believe the "it" is that you don't do something nice for someone and then expect something in return for it, after the fact.
somedude81 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 When I was dating back in the 80's I asked guys out, I paid for the date and insisted on it. So it's nothing new. I go by the policy, whom ever does the asking out, pays. I had np offering to pay half, depending on what type of date it was. But I'm an aggressive woman, I didn't always wait around for a guy to ask me out and all that crap. I took pleasure in picking up the check with anyone I'm out with, friend or date. The problem with that is the vast majority of women don't ask men out. Which means that in the vast majority of cases the man is going to pay because he asked the woman out.
darkmoon Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I believe the "it" is that you don't do something nice for someone and then expect something in return for it, after the fact. the dating rule that says he has to pay is not nice though, nice for her but not him
smg15 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 I went on a date last sunday.It was a dinner date and I suggested we split the bill when it arrived. He insisted that he is paying. I offered to buy the next round of drinks. He insisted he would pay for that too. So next day he asks if there will be a second date and I told him that I had a good evening but we were not compatible. So he reacts angrily by telling me to pay my half of the bill and he will forward his bank details. I have blocked him. Unbelievable well normally I would criticize you but if didn't get the hint when you offered to pay so that was on him. Girls who are interested never SPLIT they pay for the whole dinner on the 3rd or 4th date
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 well normally I would criticize you but if didn't get the hint when you offered to pay so that was on him. Girls who are interested never SPLIT they pay for the whole dinner on the 3rd or 4th date Absolutely not true. I have always gone Dutch whether I am interested or not
Author mangetout Posted December 25, 2014 Author Posted December 25, 2014 The problem with that is the vast majority of women don't ask men out. Which means that in the vast majority of cases the man is going to pay because he asked the woman out. I met this guy online so who asked who out.
elaine567 Posted December 25, 2014 Posted December 25, 2014 The problem here is why did he want to take control and pay for everything, when splitting the bill was offered? Did he expect his generosity to be reciprocated in kind perhaps? Did he want the OP to be beholden to him in some way? Paying for everything perhaps straight away shows the little woman that the man is in command... Once the little woman did not want to play ball, his chivalrous act was outed for what it was, a sham. 2
Recommended Posts