Frankie L Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Hi all, Been a long time since I posted on here. Partly because I thought the only way was up after the roller-coaster I had endured for many months after my break up. Problem is, I'm still finding it quite difficult after nearly a year. Its not necessarily as intense and painful as it used to be but I still feel it at times. My ex is no longer with the man she left me for. She has now moved on to somebody else and seems so happy in her new relationship. I regularly check her new boyfriends instagram and her whatsapp and see pictures of them looking very happy. This new guy is a lot different to me and the partner after me, seems really unusual. Due to the Christmas period being so close I have felt myself longing and missing her much much more. I have improved without a shadow of a doubt, but I do not feel ready to get into another relationship yet, partly because I haven't found the one who I know is it from the day I meet them. That is what happened with my ex. My mom seems to think its because I haven't met anybody else yet. I don't want to get into another RS with a woman I am merely settling for, that would not be fair. Last night I seen a new picture he had taken of her all wrapped up in his bed. It made me see just how far away she is now and cement the fact she isn't even thinking about me around this time, and that's hard to deal with. Due to work purposes the last time we spoke we were civil, had a laugh and a joke and she helped me with a query I had. I'm glad we haven't left things on a negative note. In a way I am glad she is happy, I know I have to let her go. I just don't want to feel this at all any more. What do you guys think? FL
Ieris Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Frankie, you need to delete her number and stop checking her social media. You're causing your own suffering by looking at this stuff. If you're still here after almost a year then I believe that you don't really want to move on. You need to stop focusing on her life and focus on your own. 2
Light Breeze Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yes, you won't be able to move on if you're checking her out everyday. Healing is about thinking about yourself, and that means removing any triggers of your pain. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yep, you can't get past it because you are snooping on her. And if you keep doing that, you won't get past it. 1
Author Frankie L Posted December 24, 2014 Author Posted December 24, 2014 I haven't got access to any of her social networking. But it is very easy to search her boyfriend through the web. Also I know her number. Its more self control than anything. If this is still what's contributing to everything then it has to be stopped. I managed to stop and was NC for around 4 months. After seeing her at work one day we spoke on the phone and agreed that after what we went through it would be wrong to leave things as they were. I thought I was healed, I could finally say I was happy for her, I thought I could look at social media and not feel anything. Since that day I have not stopped looking, It gave me pain seeing the new boyfriend. There was no evidence of the one she left me for. I suspect that was merely a fling. Thanks Everyone
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