newby Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 i keep hearing about people esp married people, falling in love online accidently etc, where do they go to do this? i want to do this! how does it happen accidently? they cant be online looking specifically for relationships.
moimeme Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 i keep hearing about people esp married people, falling in love online accidently etc, where do they go to do this? i want to do this! how does it happen accidently?. You actually don't want to do this. People tend to think they know everything about people they meet online an they fall for what they think they know. Then they meet the people and find out they were deluding themselves. However, you can certainly 'meet' people online and then translate that to a 3D relationship. they cant be online looking specifically for relationships Of course they can be. There are thousands of sites specifically devoted to people meeting people. Just google 'online dating' and you'll find plenty.
newby Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 no moimeme, i meant the married people that ACCIDENTLY fall in love online, they arent in dating sites, else it would be no accident. where do they go?
moimeme Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 If someone told you it was an 'accident', don't believe him. It is possible to meet people on forums and bulletin boards, but overall it's less likely, I figure.
elle naturelle Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Go to sites that interest you, chat in their forums and you never know.
Nicholas Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by newby i want to do this! No you don't! Oh, God, No you do not. The internet is the worst thing to happen to relationships since the division of labor! On the internet, you're your own marketing executive. And so is (s)he! You're consistently selling yourself as a perfect partner, and you're consistently buying it from the other person. Any character flaws are affectionately presented, and used only to endear yourself to someone, because it's easy to love someone in spite of their neuroses if you don't actually have to deal with the person. It's easier to lie on the internet too! You'll be lucky if your internet inamorado is actually the gender they represent themselves as, let alone woo'ing several other people without their spouse knowing.
newby Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 yes nicholas, which is exactly why i dont want to do it in a dating site as that is what people are out to do on there. i want to meet people through other ways like as someone suggested internet games, that sounds good. thanks for the advice all x
Justine_WOODhouse Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 You can't fall in love with someone online if you never experience the everyday things couples do together. Also, you can never truly know a person unless you spend time with them. Its very easy for people to mislead others over the internet because when your hiding behind a monitor any body can be who they want to be. therefor itis more of an obsession with the computer then the actual person.
curiousnycgirl Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 What Justine said but a little more. Folks I met my b/f of 10 months on the internet. I totally agree that you can never get to know someone online, but its really not a bad way to meet folks. At least its not bad for those of us who really don't like the bar and club scene, well at least not meeting people in those forums. Having said that - I never went more than one or two emails before meeting someone in person!! Perpetuating an online relationship simply raises false expectations. While active on the dating web site, I met a number of really good guys - dated a few for a month or two and then I met my current honey. As far as "accidently" falling in love - bull! They fall in love with a fantasy - no one is completely open and honest while chatting - they may think they are in love, but I highly doubt it will stand the test of time!
bluetuesday Posted March 26, 2005 Posted March 26, 2005 hi newby please listen to the above advice. online relationships are fraught with danger. they may seem romantic, trust me, they're not. i know because i'm embroiled in one. i'm an intelligent, worldy woman and constantly strive to ensure how i interact with the other person is a reasonable reflection of my very flawed character. i have warned him (and in our daily phone conversations, proved it time and again) i'm impossible, stubborn, dominating, always right, moody, competitive and opinionated. he doesn't find these traits 'cute', he just finds them human. and until we meet he cannot know how he will react to my character at close quarters. and the same is true in reverse. i am aware he is impossible, stubborn, always right, fractious, competitive, delusional and self-absorbed. i don't find these traits cute either. i have no illusions that in 'real life' it will be perfect. of course it won't be. no relationships are. if it works at all it will be because we are committed to it and have enough in common to make it work. i would never have chosen this situation and i certainly didn't go looking for it. i perpetuate it because the person has become my closest friend, my confidant and my champion. he is slowly getting to know me in the only way currently available to us. it's not an ideal start by any means but it's all we have. i feel loved. he feels loved. i guess we have as good a chance as any other two random people of making a go of it, but only time will tell. an emotional bond to a person you've never met will hurt you a great deal unless you're a very strong person. and even then, unless (and possibly even if) you're careful not to filter how you interact with the person, you're setting yourself up for a nasty fall. delusions are sweet, notions that this person understands you better than anyone else, leave them to mills and boon. real life isn't like that. that's not to say online relationships are impossible. some become real and last. you just need to be extra careful. keep your radar up high. and question why you're looking for something that's almost bound to bring you heartache. if you lack emotional interaction there are other, much better ways, than this to get it. good luck.
SadAndLonely Posted March 26, 2005 Posted March 26, 2005 I met my best friend (a male) through an online RPG. We became friends online in 1996, it progressed to the phone in 1997, and we met in real life in 2000. We became boyfriend/girlfriend, but I realized that I didn't have the same feelings for him that he had for me, and we broke up in 2002. We're still best friends and soul mates in a way, and visit each other three or four times a year for 7-10 days each. In fact, I'm down visiting him right now! He's moving to my state and city in two months. He doesn't have a lot going on here, and he likes where I live better. It'll be nice to have my best friend close by. If I had sexual feelings for him, I'd count us as a success story. Actually, I do anyway! However, I've had a lot of online relationships, and when I met them in real life, they'd turn out to be a**h***s. This one, my best friend, is a totally sweet, down to earth, fun guy, and we have the best time together. I guess I got lucky.
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