FixItCris Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 (edited) My ex broke up with me about 7 weeks ago. (See my other post: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/506098-i-need-find-myself-s-not-me-s-you-other-gems) I caught her out in her lies last week by finding that she was already in a relationship. I was super angry and blasted her good. But somehow she's made me feel guilty, even though she emotionally cheated (as far as I know) with this guy for 3 months, as if it was all my fault. In NC now, obviously and will keep it that way, but there are so many things I wish I could say Edited December 23, 2014 by FixItCris title change Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Was I gas lighted? After the fact she's brought out all these things and twisted them. I even feel like she's made it as if I broke up with her. Does anybody know what I'm talking about or am I crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 My ex broke up with me about 7 weeks ago. (See my other post: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/506098-i-need-find-myself-s-not-me-s-you-other-gems) I caught her out in her lies last week by finding that she was already in a relationship. I was super angry and blasted her good. But somehow she's made me feel guilty, even though she emotionally cheated (as far as I know) with this guy for 3 months, as if it was all my fault. In NC now, obviously and will keep it that way, but there are so many things I wish I could say She's projected her guilt onto you, and you've accepted it. "Blaming the victim: The victim of someone else's accident or bad luck may be offered criticism, the theory being that the victim may be at fault for having attracted the other person's hostility." "Projection of marital guilt: Thoughts of infidelity to a partner may be unconsciously projected in self-defence on to the partner in question, so that the guilt attached to the thoughts can be repudiated or turned to blame instead, in a process linked to denial." Give it back. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I know what you mean, some people are so good at twisting things around and pointing the gun right back at you. Don't be fooled by it, you obviously see right through her. It's actually good that you see this side of her and realise just how manipulative and disingenuous she really is. Sometimes you think you know someone eh... Don't bother blasting her, save your breath.. She will just twist things again and make you more mad. Don't give her a reaction and just cut her off. Whoever ends up with her is just one unlucky fella, just be glad it's not you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Already had the initial blast, that was when she tried to twist everything up. I was too angry and didn't but in to what she was saying until a few days later. Been a week now, no contact, and I don't expect to ever hear from her again. It's soul destroying, and the anxiety it's caused me is messing my life up, but I know the best revenge is getting on with my life and never looking back. Link to post Share on other sites
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