adiamond Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 So there is this guy I'm seeing and he sometimes mentions that he used to get hit on by girls when he worked as a teaching assistant, and that he has gotten dates before from this job. He says he has flirted with girls on the street and when he worked as a teaching assistant before. He mentions his GPA (3.9 ish) and how he could have gotten into a IVY league for graduate school but instead is stuck in our state school because he didn't even apply. When he says these things it makes me feel like I'm not as smart as he is or I'm not as desirable or something. I'm not like super smart (3.6 gpa) but I work hard and I'm a caring person. I'm not sure if these things he says is just him being confident in his achievements, because I do think he's smart. However, he has mentioned his gpa multiple times and how girls flirt with him a few times as well. Is this something that I'm just making a big deal out of because of possibly personal insecurities or would this turn other people off as well? I'm just looking to see if this is something or just nothing...
Trenton100 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 He's a cocky bastard. If I talked about girls flirting with me to a girl I was seeing I would expect to get punched in the crotch.
BeholdtheMan Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Confidence is better than cockiness. Cockiness is better than nothing
SomeDude16 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Confidence is cockiness without words. Confidence is when actions are speaking not the mouth. 2
Author adiamond Posted December 23, 2014 Author Posted December 23, 2014 Yea, I'm not sure how to respond. After he told me that stuff, i was just like haha yea.. and changed the topic to how I don't enjoy being catcalled because it doesn't seem genuine. I hope I didn't come off as anything weird too... because I was telling him about how homeless people catcall me ... and I don't enjoy it.
SomeDude16 Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Yea, I'm not sure how to respond. After he told me that stuff, i was just like haha yea.. and changed the topic to how I don't enjoy being catcalled because it doesn't seem genuine. I hope I didn't come off as anything weird too... because I was telling him about how homeless people catcall me ... and I don't enjoy it. No, its not something you are making a big deal out of. I would guess he has some sort of insecurity of his own that he is attempting to compensate for. Id go as far to say this might be a red flag......
carhill Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Rule of thumb in such matters: If the woman finds the man sexually attractive, such behaviors will be confident; if not, such will be cocky/arrogant/self-centered/narcissistic, etc. It really boils down to attraction and that milieu defies any conventional wisdom IMO. I've been around men like that my entire life, as a man, and listening to them prattle on makes me look for some gasoline to set them on fire. However, the women love them! It works!
Danda Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 It basically boils down to the difference between experiencing the message from someone of, "I really like you," and the message of, "I NEED YOU TO LIKE ME." They can be similar in some ways, like the level of attention is often similar, for example. But one is an offering that you can return, and can overall lead to mutual enjoyment. The other is an emotional vacuum that will eventually drive you bat**** crazy.
AVarma Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 Confidence is cockiness without words. Confidence is when actions are speaking not the mouth. Damnit jab116. When I hear your words of wisdom it makes me wish you were a woman so that I could date you.
doeblin Posted December 23, 2014 Posted December 23, 2014 However, he has mentioned his gpa multiple times and how girls flirt with him a few times as well. It seems like he's covering his low self-esteem with arrogance. His GPA is irrelevant, the fact that other girls flirt with him is irrelevant. He's telling you this trivia because he is not confident that you are going to see him as a smart & attractive person. Overblown ego could be a red flag, but cut him a slack for now, he just wants to be liked. Maybe tease him a little. Don't let him get carried away.
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