cgxl Posted December 22, 2014 Posted December 22, 2014 Hey guys, I'm new here and this will be my first thread! Anyways, so I recently (1 month now) started talking to / going over this girl's house and gone on a few dates, whom I really think we have been hitting it off well lately and are off to a good start. Of course as what I have right now going on is in its early stages, it is very exciting and also a bit scary just for the unknown /uncertainty factor of all relationships and how long things will last or remain well. There have been a couple of points that have brought concerns though. But first, let me say that I have not been involved in many relationships in my life even though I'm in my mid 20s (girl is around my age, 23). The first day we got to spent good quality time together we ended up sleeping together and she recently expressed that she has had a high number of sexual partners: 40 sexual partners since age 17, I on the other hand have not had anywhere near as much, only 3 (number of relationships I've been in). She explained that she is a very sexual person. And I expressed my feelings that what mattered to me was not her past but the present and what she meant to me now. This raises my first concern, even though I meant what I said, thoughts of whether or not this girl will turn out to be very faithful in the long run have entered my head. I want to ask her if she has ever been unfaithful in relationships due to having had sex with 40 people in the past 5 years, but I don't want her to think that I am immediately believing that she must be unfaithful. What are your thoughts of suggestions to go about approaching this or to how I should think about this? The question began to pop in my mind again after recently going out on a date with her to a bar. We were supposed to have a good time but my mind was clouded with thoughts. I felt shut down but I wanted to remain there and try to enjoy the point of going out- which was to have fun. This girl loves to dance, and was hoping to dance that night but unfortunately it did not happen, and I feel as if I let her down. This brings me on to my request for ideas on how to make it up to her. I want to take her out on a date soon, have some fun, dance with her and make her happy, I want to see her smile and enjoy herself. The night we went out she wanted to go out to a club together to dance, but we ended up going to a bar with a dance area, but of course we didn't end up dancing. Are there alternative places to go out on a date for dance and fun? Clubs seem a bit hectic. Sorry for a long thread, but thank you for taking the time to read it!
Frank2thepoint Posted December 22, 2014 Posted December 22, 2014 This raises my first concern, even though I meant what I said, thoughts of whether or not this girl will turn out to be very faithful in the long run have entered my head. I want to ask her if she has ever been unfaithful in relationships due to having had sex with 40 people in the past 5 years, but I don't want her to think that I am immediately believing that she must be unfaithful. What are your thoughts of suggestions to go about approaching this or to how I should think about this? Don't even ask her if you don't want her to think you are questioning her being unfaithful in the past. Since her having 40 sexual partners in just 5 years is bothering you, and I figure this will continue to haunt you while you are with her, she is not compatible with you. I suggest you let this girl go, and find a woman that compatible with you concerning her sexual past.
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