He's moving for work and he's been really cold and distant (long)

[Jay13094]

I met this guy (lets call him J) this past halloweekend. When i first met him i initially was not interested, attracted to him. He looks like a d-bag so I did not want to bother with him. He was very persistent and wanted to hang out with me. The following day we both went to an event and his friend saw me and was like "hey are you _____?" "yeah" "have you seen J? he really likes you" "?? i met him yesterday" "he keeps talking about you saying "i don't know what it is about this girl, but i keep thinking about her" besides that i met his friends kind of quickly and he would come to my area a couple times a week and would try to hang out. I tried to get rid of him and ignore his text msgs (i have my read receipts on) but he would just double text me instead so I decided to give him a chance. He was very gentlemen like, completely different than what I sought him out to be. Had good conversations, and over all really good guy.

 

I have an apartment so after a couple dates and so he slept over and he did not try having sex with me. I actually initiated intimacy. Which i appreciated and respected from him. We kept in contact everyday, he would drive to my apartment almost every other day and we just were inseparable. Things started picking up really quickly.. he first started leaving his jackets.. then he left his shoes and soon enough he had his laundry. We went about 2 days not seeing each other since we've met. We're exclusive as we hold hands in public, kisses me in public, all our friends know. We go grocery shopping together, and he buys basically everything for me. He does my laundry.. my dishes.... like yes we moved really, really fast. He basically moved in (he's 22, i'm 20) I did not say anything cz i simply did not really mind and he treated me soooooo well like a princess- I was so spoiled by him. He came to thanksgiving dinner and met my family.. (first boy i ever brought home) and with that information he was fine with it (none of his family is around here) He's the first guy i ever cared about, i've never had a bf before.

 

My family likes him, my friends like him- everything's been great. Although the first things I knew about him was that he was going to move to california in february b/c of a job offer. Did not think much of it cz i didn't think i'd like him so much or we'd move so quickly.

 

So currently, its been 2 months only and he is out of the country for his brother's wedding and the holidays. Prior to his leave his last "Free" day he spent it with me, he slept over all weekend and everything was good. we have no label but we both do like each other. I used to think he liked me a lot more than i like him but things seemed to have changed.

 

As soon as he was about to leave out of no where he goes "don't you think we got into this too quickly?" "oh.. you mean us?" "yeah.." "i mean we did... why do you ask?" "just saying" "is that a bad or good thing?" "its not a bad or good thing.. its just its been what like 2 months.. what are we gonna do when i leave?" to cali?" "Yeah.." "im not sure" so that was the first time we had our "talk" and that he ever brought up him actually leaving so initially i got upset and shed some tears but idk after that he seemed a bit distant. He usually calls me every night but he didn't that night but he had to pack so i understood. He was supposed to come down the next day to drop something off, but he said he was too tired and had much to pack (he lives like 30 min away and has to pay a toll). SO he told me he would call me at the airport.. got a text instead and i was just over all disappointed and confused b/c i did not know if he wanted to end things with me or not. I would bring up "you seem distant" "what do you mean" "just seems like you don't wanna talk to me" "I've been super busy" and he would just kind of avoid the whole conversation, which is also why in my theory he did not call me the past days before his departure. He still has all his things at my apartment so i will see him, but he's out of the country for 3 weeks and well I haven;t heard from him since he handed.

 

its a 13 hour time difference and he was the best man so i understand he's busy. So after going crazy since I wanted to talk to him (and i shouldn't be playing a game) I texted him saying "hi, hope you're having a good time and hope you had fun at the wedding :)" he doesn't have wifi every once in a while so i did not get his text til hours later and he goes "Lol my brothers wedding was yesterday" and then like 5 minutes later he sent me a picture of him and his nieces/sisters. I go "i know, thats why i said had ahah, but aww you guys look so nice!" and he hasn't answered me since. He is not a good texter in general... but he's never so out of contact and just seems like he's being really cold and distant towards me. I just wish if he were to end things.. he would do it before he left instead of leaving me hanging.

 

Now i'm here still confused and sulking and obviously trying to get over him but its hard when theres miscommunication and i have no answers til he gets back. I'm not going to bother him while he's on vacation but its not not fair... once he moves to cali we probably will end things because i live on the east coast- but i don't get why he's acting this way. We're "breaking up" because of life... not because we don't like each other so i want to cherish and spend the last remaining days with him before he leaves. We have basically 1 month together til he's officially gone. I understand thats a harder more vulnerable approach, but it would just suck even more to know that he's still so close to me, but we ended it so it would be "easier" I just don't know what to do or how he's feeling or why he's being so cold or what to do.