girl_1987 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 I've been dating this man for 4 years and we are madly in love. It is a long distant relationship where we see each other once a month. I was with him on the weekend, and it ended not too nicely. I have written a letter to him, as I know if I told him in person, he would only interrupt me and deny everything. "In the car yesterday, I spoke to you about Kate - a person you have known for 20 years and is completely obsessed by you and is jealous of me. Can I remind you of what things she has done to me in the past? - she called me at work one day to find out where I was the night before - I arrived at your place after a 2 hour trip, only to have you tell me to go back home because she wouldn't leave -she rummaged through your cupboards and drawers to find cards written from me - she wrote "slut" beside my name that was written on a CD - we couldn't go out to dinner one night, because you were expecting a call from Kate - AND, how could I ever forget her stalking your house when we were in your bedroom, and her flinging the door open to find us in bed? She then wrote a letter to me and put it in my bag, where she wrote some extremely nasty things about me. After that night happened, you told me she was out of your life and she had moved to Sydney with a new boyfriend. And I believed you. So, on the weekend, when we were looking at your phone, and a call and text from her came through, I was a little shocked. I confronted you asking why you were still in contact with her, and you said you weren't. But you talk to her mother instead as she looks after your dog. The day before you told me all of this, I did something that I promised I would never do to ANYONE, and that was look through your phone. Every single day you had taken calls from her, and texted her what you were doing and where you were from day to day, followed by "xox". Your denial doesn't up now, does it? Yes, I regret looking at your phone, but to have such a dishonest and untrustworthy person in my life, I cannot have anymore. For you to lie straight to my face, has broken my heart. IF you are seeing this lady, I think you are greedy and very selfish. I feel like a piece of meat." Okaaaaay. So what do you think I should do? Say goodbye at the end of this letter, or let him think it over and for us to take a long break from each other. I so badly want to end it after this has happened, but I know within a week, I will majorly regret it. Thanks so much for your help.
Satu Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 He has been lying to you for a long time. I would never tolerate that. You can't have a healthy relationship with a liar. 1
evanescentworld Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 End it. Tell him you "never want to hear from him again, and you hope, in light of everything you have discovered, that he finds the life he deserves. full of schytt. But that you refuse to be a part of it any longer." Don't even say goodbye. If he's dense enough to not be able to work that bit out for himself, then he's too thick to even be let out alone. 3
loversquarrel Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 Don't bother sending it. It took you a very long time to figure out you were the other woman. He was cheating on her with you right under your nose, you knew about it but you were in denial. Now it's time to figure out why you would let yourself fall for such nonsense.
dumbass2 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 You will regret sending that. I promise you. The best thing you can do to him is ignore him completely and go NC. You should want nothing to do with him. Your letter will do nothing to someone like that because he doesn't care. 1
Jabs06 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 After a recent break up...letter writing is the way forward. It's wuite therspeutic too but at least you haven't got to speak & listen to lies. Neither are you waiting in anticipation for the reply like you would with a text. Also in the time it takes yr letter to get there it will give you a couple of days to think if you do really want "good bye" If he wants to be with you his relationship with this woman needs to stop!!but could you trust it to if you're not around all the time??
erklat Posted December 22, 2014 Posted December 22, 2014 After a recent break up...letter writing is the way forward. Yes, but you send those letters to the litter. Sending your ex anything is tragically desperate, needy and clingy. Don't be the "dude that sent letters to his ex".
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