Author sober and dry Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) I was with her for 8 years of my life. I did had some gf before her and done all the "first" things with them, but she was truly my first love, so she was a very significant person in my life. There is no denying it. I believe that when recovering from an addition, at some stage you need to "confront" and face the addition object. Basically get the strength to be in front of it and be able to say no, I don't want that. Even if that just happens in your head. If you fail to do this, it's just a sign that you are not ready yet and still have some recovery to do, but I also believe that there are gains in failure. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I will keep forcing myself until I make it or break. So that's the why I want to see her. She is just like another human being for me, true she isn't or wasn't the best human being in my life in this stage, but still a human as anyone else. Of course I can see what you are saying. Maybe what I say in this post is just BS to everyone else but: 1 - I did recovered from 2 major, major addictions in my life and this was a crucial step in both. 2 - As I said, even if I see that there is just an abyss after the edge, as soon I but my foot in it my next step is to go head first every time. Edited January 28, 2015 by sober and dry 1
NopeNah Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Guess that somewhat makes sense. Similar to an alcoholic being able to watch a game with buddies at a bar,while they drink and he has water. Face your demons type thing. I just wouldn't want to put myself in that situation. 1
Author sober and dry Posted January 30, 2015 Author Posted January 30, 2015 Well I had and major revelation from myself that's very opportune for this topic also. If anyone wants to read it it's here.
Author sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) Guess what... I guess this just blow up on my face... I sent on the 28th "Hi. As you, yes I'm better. Lets scheduled the coffee?" She didn't replied until this date so I'm guessing that she will not. Yes it was somewhat cold, but well, it shouldn't be a problem to anyone... I always thought that silent is a "good" response in many situations and she always disagreed with that. Well another turned table... I guess one of two things, she got tired of me and my idea and cut me off completely to keep moving with her life (which I don't condone) or she is having some kind of "problem". Anyway I think I gonna simply state my intentions with the meeting in a few days. Something like "be assure that I don't want to beg you anything or nothing like that, I just want to see you, literally". If she still doesn't reply to this, than I will say my goodbyes and be gone. Any input please? Edited February 2, 2015 by sober and dry
Author sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 Funny thing, she replied some hours after I posted here. So I think we are meeting this weekend, I will post here how it went through. Funny thing, as the days go on and my confidence grows back, I fell less and less this desire, today after reading her text I was debating my self if I do really want that or not. But well, I started it so I going through it.
BC1980 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 Funny thing, she replied some hours after I posted here. So I think we are meeting this weekend, I will post here how it went through. Funny thing, as the days go on and my confidence grows back, I fell less and less this desire, today after reading her text I was debating my self if I do really want that or not. But well, I started it so I going through it. Dude. . . . you really shouldn't be meeting with her. You have been NC for a month correct? What is the point of this meeting?
Author sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) I was with her for 8 years of my life. I did had some gf before her and done all the "first" things with them, but she was truly my first love, so she was a very significant person in my life. There is no denying it. I believe that when recovering from an addition, at some stage you need to "confront" and face the addition object. Basically get the strength to be in front of it and be able to say no, I don't want that. Even if that just happens in your head. If you fail to do this, it's just a sign that you are not ready yet and still have some recovery to do, but I also believe that there are gains in failure. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I will keep forcing myself until I make it or break. So that's the why I want to see her. She is just like another human being for me, true she isn't or wasn't the best human being in my life in this stage, but still a human as anyone else. Of course I can see what you are saying. Maybe what I say in this post is just BS to everyone else but: 1 - I did recovered from 2 major, major addictions in my life and this was a crucial step in both. 2 - As I said, even if I see that there is just an abyss after the edge, as soon I put my foot in it my next step is to go head first every time. Quoting myself Yes I was NC for a month, than after asking her to meet and she agreed went NC for 15 days and now we are scheduling it. Edited February 2, 2015 by sober and dry
Author sober and dry Posted February 3, 2015 Author Posted February 3, 2015 I will make a silly question perhaps but thing is, I gave her my promise ring when I BU with her in an act of anger... I would like to have it again just so I would trow it off somewhere, in the sea or something. Is it just too stupid of me to ask it back from her? I don't want to look like I will be hanging on it or something, this ring was important to me, so for me, it's equally important that I say my good byes to it.
Author sober and dry Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Tomorrow is the day of the coffee. I have to be real and admit that will probably be a critical day. But lets see what happens. Wish me luck and that I stay in at my best behavior and mind.
Mi7522 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I will make a silly question perhaps but thing is, I gave her my promise ring when I BU with her in an act of anger... I would like to have it again just so I would trow it off somewhere, in the sea or something. Is it just too stupid of me to ask it back from her? I don't want to look like I will be hanging on it or something, this ring was important to me, so for me, it's equally important that I say my good byes to it. If you gave it to her you can't ask for it back, I mean you can but that will make you look petty and immature
Author sober and dry Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 If you gave it to her you can't ask for it back, I mean you can but that will make you look petty and immature Thank you. After looking back at it I though so too. I will must probably not ask it back.
Author sober and dry Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 Well people the meeting update is in here
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