Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 Helpful advice, everyone. Much appreciated. I am coming off as being desperate. I suppose I just want things to look a certain way. So with that being a partial part of this case.. When she tries to initiate contact when she is back - if she does, should I miss her first call, then wait a day to maybe get back to her? I know games aren't ideal, but I feel like I may have jumped the gun on things a little; acted a tad desperate. So I feel I should make myself a little more difficult, for a little bit anyways. Make her miss me a tad. Thoughts?
Realist3 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 I should have mentioned... On the second date we went back to her place after she invited me. We spooned on the couch and she suggested we go to the bed instead. We madeout there and she took off her shirt with bra still on, and hinted towards me at taking her pants off. I really liked her at this time too and I didn't want to go too fast, so I told her I should go home. I tend to lose interest if something more sexual happens withing the first 3 dates.. She offered for me to spend the night even just to sleep in the same bed. I declined in a respectful way and reassured her that I did like her before leaving. I should also mention she just broke up with a long term guy 2 months ago. You missed your opportunity. Forget about it. When a woman asks you to sleep with her you either do it or don't. When you don't you are done.
Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 You missed your opportunity. Forget about it. When a woman asks you to sleep with her you either do it or don't. When you don't you are done. If that were the case, there wouldn't have been a 3rd date or she wouldn't have said she'll get back to me after her snowshoeing trip.
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 Do you think she is seeing other people, or am I just misinterpreting her silence between dates as bad news? I mean... She could just be playing it super cool. You should always assume that a girl is seeing other people until you talk about it and establish that you're not. And there's nothing wrong with that if she is.
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 Helpful advice, everyone. Much appreciated. I am coming off as being desperate. I suppose I just want things to look a certain way. So with that being a partial part of this case.. When she tries to initiate contact when she is back - if she does, should I miss her first call, then wait a day to maybe get back to her? I know games aren't ideal, but I feel like I may have jumped the gun on things a little; acted a tad desperate. So I feel I should make myself a little more difficult, for a little bit anyways. Make her miss me a tad. Thoughts? She comes to miss you in the silence that exists now, between the contacts that you make. You just can't go from desperate to difficult to get without looking like an inconsistent douche or a gamer. To back off means you don't initiate anymore or as often, not that you suddenly pull a 180 and act aloof. If you make her wait once she reaches out to you when you never have before, it will be interpreted as a game. If you make her feel like you're playing a game or indifferent she will lose interest or play a game right back. Just be real. When she texts, text her back. If she calls and you're available to pick up, pick up. Don't wait a day. That's just dumb.
Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 You should always assume that a girl is seeing other people until you talk about it and establish that you're not. And there's nothing wrong with that if she is. I can agree with this. I do think however it makes hers and my connection less genuine. As she would be sharing similar moments with other guys. And so in this case, I should be getting with other women and that should e totally okay then?
smg15 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 You missed your opportunity. Forget about it. When a woman asks you to sleep with her you either do it or don't. When you don't you are done. what if the guy has no protection and wants to avoid her getting pregnant?
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 I can agree with this. I do think however it makes hers and my connection less genuine. As she would be sharing similar moments with other guys. And so in this case, I should be getting with other women and that should e totally okay then? No, it doesn't mean anything about your connection nor should you assume she's sharing anything similar with anyone else. Frankly, you don't know that she is actually seeing other people. You just can't assume that she's not and that she's all yours. But yes, if you meet someone you're interested in getting to know, then do so. It's been three dates. Try to keep that in perspective moving forward. The more time you spend together, the more you or her maybe hurt if there are other people still in the picture. But until you actually talk about it, you don't really have a right to have any expectations at all.
Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 You're right, Addie. So when is okay to have the 'exclusive' talk? And is it okay to ask if she has been seeing other guys during this talk?
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 You're right, Addie. So when is okay to have the 'exclusive' talk? And is it okay to ask if she has been seeing other guys during this talk? You ask to be exclusive when you would no longer be okay with her still getting to know other people. But you can explore her temperature for exclusivity by bringing up not seeing other people, just as you already did. She's not ready to be exclusive yet, otherwise she would have told you she's not seeing anyone else either.
Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 So I should let her bring up the conversation for exclusivity now? And in the meanwhile explore other options?
Author Supernatural Posted December 21, 2014 Author Posted December 21, 2014 Bump. Any more thoughts?
Diezel Posted December 21, 2014 Posted December 21, 2014 So I should let her bring up the conversation for exclusivity now? And in the meanwhile explore other options? You've already come off as desperate a time or two to her, why would you bring up the conversation for exclusivity now? Why can't you just let things play out?
Author Supernatural Posted December 22, 2014 Author Posted December 22, 2014 You've already come off as desperate a time or two to her, why would you bring up the conversation for exclusivity now? Why can't you just let things play out? Okay. I will do that. And in the meantime I will pursue other women. If she gets back to me, great. If not, I accept that and will learn from this.
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