Trenton100 Posted December 20, 2014 Posted December 20, 2014 This is a separate topic from the other I posted this morning. I figured while I am here, I mind as well... I'm sure you have all heard the story. I've known her for over 20 years. Nothing romantic, ever. She is married technically but separated and not happy at all. I know how easy it is to become attached to someone when you're miserable. So I will get that out of the way. She lives in the same town I used to about 260 miles away. Went to high school together. We are alike in so many ways I swear I feel like I'm looking in the mirror. Now keep in mind I have a wild imagination. No, not THAT wild. God you readers have a dirty mind. knock it off. Anyway, there's something I have noticed. When I talk to her about my dates, she says pretty much nothing. Whenever I go home to visit, she's the only friend I see. There are times when we are chatting and she will say things. And when I ask "What do you mean by that?" she says nothing. Here are some of the things she has said... "When I come down, we will have cheesesteaks...and something else." "You need to come up so we can balance each other out." There have been other things said in that style too. One time while messaging I did push it, asking what the hell she is talking about. I did get "you know it isn't like that". Ok, cool. Crystal clear. Last night I told her the reason I didn't visit last time was because I was in a bad place and she was in a bad place and I didn't want to ruin anything. I told her there was a chance I might hit on her. I just came out with it. It caused sort of a fight at the time (me not coming up) so I needed to tell her the truth. I sent the message and went to bed. This morning? Her response was "did you get the present I sent?" She sends me a nice platter of different cheeses every year. I love it. I said gee, I'm glad what I said didn't upset you. "no, I'm not upset". Three seconds later, back to normal conversation. I might end up moving back up there for job reasons. I told her that and she happens to be very stoked. Imagination running wild on my end, or am I reading into this way too much? I can tell you this...I would be the best thing on the planet for her and vice versa. Neither one of us are good at the dating thing and we get each other. But I don't want to kill a friendship either. If she didn't send out those little hints, I would say nothing. Anyone else have this happen to them? Am I crazy?
Gloria25 Posted December 20, 2014 Posted December 20, 2014 Last night I told her the reason I didn't visit last time was because I was in a bad place and she was in a bad place and I didn't want to ruin anything. I told her there was a chance I might hit on her. I just came out with it. It caused sort of a fight at the time (me not coming up) so I needed to tell her the truth. I sent the message and went to bed. This morning? Her response was "did you get the present I sent?" She sends me a nice platter of different cheeses every year. I love it. I said gee, I'm glad what I said didn't upset you. "no, I'm not upset". Three seconds later, back to normal conversation. I think there's a break in the chain...I mean, after you sent her that message, you two just went back into your normal banter like nothing happened. Before you continue with these "imaginations" in your head, I'd recommend finding out for sure how she felt about the message you sent her. But really, dating someone who is "separated", IMO, can get dicey. Until they divorce, and I mean once the ink dries on the divorce decree, they are going through so much - not really "available" for dating if you ask me. Shoot, even after the divorce is "official", IMO, they still go through an adjustment period cuz now the divorce is "official".
Author Trenton100 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Posted December 20, 2014 I think there's a break in the chain...I mean, after you sent her that message, you two just went back into your normal banter like nothing happened. Before you continue with these "imaginations" in your head, I'd recommend finding out for sure how she felt about the message you sent her. But really, dating someone who is "separated", IMO, can get dicey. Until they divorce, and I mean once the ink dries on the divorce decree, they are going through so much - not really "available" for dating if you ask me. Shoot, even after the divorce is "official", IMO, they still go through an adjustment period cuz now the divorce is "official". I can ask until I'm blue in the face and it won't matter. I'm not looking for anything soon. I'm just wondering. I'm probably wrong about all of it.
dispatch3d Posted December 20, 2014 Posted December 20, 2014 You've gotta ask yourself if bringing this up will damage the friendship, and if its worth the risk. Also doing it in a not extravagent way will be a lot better than writing a letter or something overly showvanistic. Just as an fyi. You might do better to make subtle moves, and if those get rebuffed figure things out from there. 2
Author Trenton100 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Posted December 20, 2014 But does anyone think I'm reading too much into some of the stuff she says?
dispatch3d Posted December 20, 2014 Posted December 20, 2014 in my experience unless are direct about this sort of thing it is very hard to tell where you stand. So yeah, I don't know what to tell you about the comments you mentioned, and I probably wouldn't read into them a lot just for sanity's sake.
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