Jwhite927458 Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 (edited) I've been dating this girl for 7 years. We've been through hell and back together, and the idea of the break up was hers. She said she loves me, but not in love. Recently I moved out of our apartment and let her know that I still want to be with her. She is dating some guy that isn't her type at all, and I know isn't going to last long. The problem I'm having, I still love her and want to be with her, but if she moved on, I'd like to move on. She will text me randomly for little things here and there after a few days of not talking. She thinks that she has the same rights to see my family as she pleases and to text me whenever she wants. I don't know what to do or how to handle any of this. If she doesn't want to be with me then why isn't she letting go? This break up is stressing me out to the max. I text her last night that if she wants to be with me then she needs to tell me, but if she doesn't she can't text me all the time and come around anymore. She had no response to it, and she usually never does when it comes to talking about the relationship. Does she still want things to last? How do I knock the wall down that she has up? Why do I feel so pathetic? Lol I'm lost. Edited December 19, 2014 by Jwhite927458
Dallers Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 Wake up and walk away. You are just allowing her to use you. Seriously how hard is it to see this? She knows you still love her and so while she off sitting on some other guy you are there waiting for her to give you a second chance! Grow a pair and walk away. Block her number and move on. At this point you are going to have to do a lot of work on yourself to regain your confidence and self esteem and become a man again. You allow it, she takes advantage of it. The only person to blame is you. 3
JK79 Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 She said she loves me, but not in love. Recently I moved out of our apartment and let her know that I still want to be with her. She is dating some guy that isn't her type at all, and I know isn't going to last long. Hi. Sorry to hear your situation. There is nothing to be said here that isn't probably going to make you feel awful but you need to come to terms with the situation. I really do think actions speak louder than words in life. Anyone can give lip service to words like love and if you hang on words you might be forgiven for thinking this girl cares about you or there may still be a future. However, you have to look at the actions: She broke up with you She is happy for you to have moved out of 'our' flat. She is already dating someone else You are not her number one priority even though painfully she may be yours. Stop responding/contacting her and tell your family exactly what has happened and ask for their support in helping you move on. Be strong as she will probably try and throw you the odd bone to keep her options open. No-one should ever settle for or be treated as a plan B - move on. 1
Satu Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 (edited) Its over. The main thing you need to do just now is to accept the reality of that. Don't allow yourself the be her Plan B. Go for total no contact. That means no contact directly, indirectly through third parties, or via social media. Holding on to false hope just brings more pain. Edited December 19, 2014 by Satu
Author Jwhite927458 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Posted December 19, 2014 Thanks everyone. Yeah I know I should move on. I told her last night that she can't text me all the time and she can't be in contact with my family. I told her that she left and wants to move on and to move on. I also said to her that I refuse to be a runner up, and that if she was to decide she still wants to be with me, that it's not happening over night.
BlueIris Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 Thanks everyone. Yeah I know I should move on. I told her last night that she can't text me all the time and she can't be in contact with my family. I told her that she left and wants to move on and to move on. I also said to her that I refuse to be a runner up, and that if she was to decide she still wants to be with me, that it's not happening over night. Well done! From now on, don't respond to her texts, calls, etc. if she starts up again.
Dallers Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 (edited) Thanks everyone. Yeah I know I should move on. I told her last night that she can't text me all the time and she can't be in contact with my family. I told her that she left and wants to move on and to move on. I also said to her that I refuse to be a runner up, and that if she was to decide she still wants to be with me, that it's not happening over night. Don't message again and STOP giving her options! You already are the runner up so telling her that means nothing. She has no possible chance with you EVER again. That is what you tell her and then walk away. Every single time you go back to her you make yourself look weak and pathetic and that is the reason why she is banging another guy because you are not man enough to stand up for yourself. You really need to wake up and smell the roses this girl is laughing at you. Walk away and honestly start to try and understand that this is not the world you think it is. People are not nice. Edited December 19, 2014 by Dallers
ExpatInItaly Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 You're her back-up plan in case things don't work out with her new boyfriend. You did the right thing by asking her to stop contacting you and your family. Don't respond to her messages any more.
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