Miamimami Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 My boyfriend of 5 months blew me off 2 weeks ago on a Friday night we were supposed to go out. We both love each other and spend 4 -to five nights out of the week together. He never called like he said he would!I called and left messages and no response. I felt very upset and hurt, we always spend weekends together for fivemonths. I text messaged for him not to contact me anymore, thinking this will finally get his attention I was feeling hurt not hearing an explanation or anything back all this time. Not until the following night does he call, I don't answer, he leaves a message asking for me to call back. I was too upset to talk to him and when I called the following day he said he didn't want to talk since I had texted him not to anymore. Did I overreact by texting him that? Over a week has passed and he has not called me. FOr the past 4 days he is logged onto the messenger 24/7 that only we have each other on that account maybe waiting for me to IM him. Should I? Who should contact who? Or the fact he blew me off I should not wait to get an explanation or hear him out? I feel rejected and hurt he didn't want to talk when I called but I can see that he must have gotten hurt too by my text message not to contact me anymore. Wouldn't he have reacted by calling or texting right back if that was a big blow and I had left a message earlier for him to call and still he hadn't? In my mind, what if he was with another girl and he was blocking me out of contact until the end of the weekend. So basicly, do I contact him or sit around waiting for him to or is this reason enough to break up which will be hard since i still love him. I need your help please to avoid regret.
agnf666 Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 The text message was basically the icing on the cake. I think that you over reacted alittle bit. I know that he didn't give you an explanation but you didn't give him a chance to. If you really like him then make the effort and talk to him. Tell him you where upset at him and overreacted with the text message. Then maybe he will apoligize for the night he skipped out on. He may just figure your realyl mad at him.
Hund1976 Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 You guys need to talk and see what's going on. You've been together for awhile so you shouldn't just end it without seeing what his reasons were. I would go ahead and give him a call and get together and talk.
MiamiMami Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 That is such a diffrent way to look at it then I have been. Maybe you are right that I have not even given him a chance to explane anything and acted too fast with the text message. I have been so hurt because he did not contact me at all that day when he blew me off. If he figures I'm really mad at him, wouldn't that be more reason for him to want to contact me right away instead of the chance that I might not want to see him anymore? Whenever I sense that he might be mad at me i don't leave him alone because I am afraid to lose him, not sit back like this and not contact, especially if he knows i am upset and it is making me more upset to not hear from him. Are you are sure then that I should be the one to contacct him (AGAIN) remember the last time I called he didn't want to talk so I feel like I've been blown off twice, but I do want things to work out eventually and I think it is very important to go about resolving this the right way to avoid more problems.It is hard for me to see who is right and who is wrong, i feel like i am right but don't want to make a mistake if i am in fact not right and only think i am. thanks again for any feedback on this.
MiamiMami Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 you think I should call too Hund, so maybe I will try again but i wish he would be the one to. I thought it was mean when he said he didn't want to talk the last time I called, it was so not like him that the thought that he might act like that again makes me hesitate and want him to be the one to call me.
agnf666 Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 I would just call him and apologize for the text message and see how it goes. Good Luck...
MiamiMami Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 I can't bring myself to call him. Not sure if I'm being stubborn, but I think he should be the one to call me and now I am getting more upset waiting with another day having passed and no word
Pendawn Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 Originally posted by MiamiMami I can't bring myself to call him. Not sure if I'm being stubborn, but I think he should be the one to call me: And that my friend, is how people throw away good reltionships. You like him, you want to get back together with him, not calling him is making your miserable - so forget any ideas of who should do what and just contact him. If you can't call send him an email explaining you were mad and said something you didn't mean and how upset you are now and miss him.
gwennebe Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 I would go ahead and call him but don't get upset with him. Act like you haven't really noticed his actions lately. I don't feel that most guys respond well to nagging or screaming. It makes you look needy which guys do not like. Maybe he feels you depend on him too much and he's trying to see how you react without him around a lot. So, make sure you are positive about his pulling away. Just act nochalant and dont' get mad anymore but make sure you don't act like a pushover either. You don't need to take this kind of crap from anyone. Just start becoming unavailiable yourself. Make him feel like maybe you have time for him and maybe you don't. Before you know it he will be giving you all the attention you deserve again.
MiamiMami Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 ok, you guys are awesome. Pendawn, the thought of losing a relationship is too much of a risk to not call (even though I think he should). And gwennebe that advice could not have sounded better, I was ready to yell and cry but wow now I am going to be calm about it.Thanks very much for your feedback.
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