The time of year for forming relationships does matter

[Darren2013]

Like right now is the worst time of the year to ask a woman out on a date. It is middle of December and almost Christmas. Many folks are extremely busy this time of year with holiday preparations whether preparing food for family or buying gifts and last minute shopping, etc.

 

I think the months between November and January 1 are the most awkward times to pursue dating. Those are the same months that egg nog is sold in grocery stores. I remember that once I see the egg nog for sale that's a sign it is a bad time to ask for dates. Wait until January 2 when everyone gets all the Jingle Bells and Sleigh Ride songs out of their heads. Wait until January 2 when most are recovering from getting drunk at New Years Eve parties.

 

I remember meeting my 4th girlfriend on January 4th one year for our first date. Perfect timing. We corresponded back in forth online in late October and then lost touch for 2 months and re-established communication January 2nd.

 

Actually I might go so far to say that if I were to ask a woman out on a date at this time of the year close to Christmas it may raise a red flag in her mind. She may be thinking "What's up with this guy? Doesn't he know that everybody is busy around the holidays and trying to sort through the logistics of family gatherings and some folks are traveling out of town to meet family members? Didn't he take into consideration that I might be extremely busy at this time of the year? Doesn't he have family of his own to see and things to do to prepare for the holidays?"

 

In my opinion it says alot if a woman is too busy to date during the holiday season. In my opinion it is a good thing because it means she puts her family first. That's what I like in a woman. One who prioritizes family over going out on a date. We can go out on dates any other time of the year. There's 10 months of opportunities to do that but only a limited opportunity once a year to spend time with relatives. Most people don't have time to visit relatives except during thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

So I can see how a woman might get turned off if I asked her out a week before Christmas. It really isn't going to kill me to wait until January 2.

[CALOVELY]

Like right now is the worst time of the year to ask a woman out on a date. It is middle of December and almost Christmas. Many folks are extremely busy this time of year with holiday preparations whether preparing food for family or buying gifts and last minute shopping, etc.

 

I think the months between November and January 1 are the most awkward times to pursue dating. Those are the same months that egg nog is sold in grocery stores. I remember that once I see the egg nog for sale that's a sign it is a bad time to ask for dates. Wait until January 2 when everyone gets all the Jingle Bells and Sleigh Ride songs out of their heads. Wait until January 2 when most are recovering from getting drunk at New Years Eve parties.

 

I remember meeting my 4th girlfriend on January 4th one year for our first date. Perfect timing. We corresponded back in forth online in late October and then lost touch for 2 months and re-established communication January 2nd.

 

Actually I might go so far to say that if I were to ask a woman out on a date at this time of the year close to Christmas it may raise a red flag in her mind. She may be thinking "What's up with this guy? Doesn't he know that everybody is busy around the holidays and trying to sort through the logistics of family gatherings and some folks are traveling out of town to meet family members? Didn't he take into consideration that I might be extremely busy at this time of the year? Doesn't he have family of his own to see and things to do to prepare for the holidays?"

 

In my opinion it says alot if a woman is too busy to date during the holiday season. In my opinion it is a good thing because it means she puts her family first. That's what I like in a woman. One who prioritizes family over going out on a date. We can go out on dates any other time of the year. There's 10 months of opportunities to do that but only a limited opportunity once a year to spend time with relatives. Most people don't have time to visit relatives except during thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

So I can see how a woman might get turned off if I asked her out a week before Christmas. It really isn't going to kill me to wait until January 2.

 

I have a different take. The holidays are often a time of sadness and reflection for many. After spending time with family and happy couples, it often nudges them in a direction to be willing to date or "try again". Going out for a few hours with somebody doesn't mean they don't put their family first. I think the opposite. It means they are willing to put themselves out there in an effort to one day have one themselves.

[Gloria25]

I have a different take. The holidays are often a time of sadness and reflection for many. After spending time with family and happy couples, it often nudges them in a direction to be willing to date or "try again". Going out for a few hours with somebody doesn't mean they don't put their family first. I think the opposite. It means they are willing to put themselves out there in an effort to one day have one themselves.

 

And that's another reason I don't date during the holidays....cuz, I don't wanna be with someone cuz they're lonely and want something warm to cuddle up with.

 

Same for the height of summer. I don't wanna be with a guy cuz we're all caught up in "fun in the sun" if you will.

 

I wouldn't take it as a red flag if someone met me during the holidays - cuz, while I do things with the family and stuff, it doesn't consume my time (I mean, I "am" a single woman w/o any kids). Now, if they were on OLD on the day of Christmas, NYE, or a day before/after - I'd really wonder why they are online on a day when people normally are with family/friends.

[Under The Radar]

I never date women during the autumn equinox because that would just be crazy ...... but not as crazy as during the spring equinox ...... that's just downright dangerous

[d0nnivain]

I met a great guy at the holiday party for my grad school, about 2 weeks before Christmas. One of our earliest dates was we went Christmas shopping together; hey we both had to do it so it was a good excuse to spend time together. We were together for about 2.5 years. I actually thought we were going to get married. We broke up because he decided he didn't want to marry someone in the same career field. The time of year when we met had nothing to do with it.

 

It can be harder to get somebody to commit to a time & place for a date because there is so much going on in everyone's lives.

[EasyHeart]

Actually I might go so far to say that if I were to ask a woman out on a date at this time of the year close to Christmas it may raise a red flag in her mind. She may be thinking "What's up with this guy? Doesn't he know that everybody is busy around the holidays and trying to sort through the logistics of family gatherings and some folks are traveling out of town to meet family members? Didn't he take into consideration that I might be extremely busy at this time of the year? Doesn't he have family of his own to see and things to do to prepare for the holidays?"

 

In my opinion it says alot if a woman is too busy to date during the holiday season. In my opinion it is a good thing because it means she puts her family first. That's what I like in a woman. One who prioritizes family over going out on a date. We can go out on dates any other time of the year. There's 10 months of opportunities to do that but only a limited opportunity once a year to spend time with relatives. Most people don't have time to visit relatives except during thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

So I can see how a woman might get turned off if I asked her out a week before Christmas. It really isn't going to kill me to wait until January 2.

You're thinking way too hard, dude. Not everything is a secret test or some kind of key to a person's psyche.

 

I met my wife on Dec. 19. When she gave me her phone number, I told her that I very much wanted to take her on a date, but I was very busy with work and family commitments over the holidays, so I wouldn't be able to call her until January. After we'd been dating for a while, she told me that my directness in saying that made her even more interested in me.

 

Don't play games. Honesty in men is very attractive to women; it's sort of like boobies are to us.

[evanescentworld]

My husband and I divorce every year in November, and marry again at the beginning of February.

Christmas is always so much cheaper.

Works for us!

[Ieris]

When love comes it comes, I don't care what where and when. Don't think too much into it

[MissBee]

I actually feel like during the holiday season is when I'm more open to a relationship or am thinking about being with someone more. It's precisely because of the focus on family, togetherness, love, giving etc.

 

Two boyfriends ago, we got together in December. It was a great time. He was the first bf I spent NYE with and I actually brought him along to a pre-Christmas party at a family friend's house. While we didn't last we dated for a while and I think that's part of the reason why I still hold fond memories of Christmas time and New Years as a great time for being with someone. As when we first got together it was that whole magical time of new love and it made my Christmas season that much better and exciting and I still associate good romantic ideas with this time of year.

 

I also think there is something about winter for me that leads me to wanting to cuddle and be with someone.

 

But in any case, if someone I am into comes along, I don't care about the timing! If I like a man then I make time for him. So if a woman says she has NO TIME for you in between November and January, it's because she doesn't like you. Thanksgiving is one day and maybe a day or a couple of prep, likewise so is Christmas, NYE, Christmas Eve. When you subtract the days of the holiday and any prep days there are still MANY more days and times left for an interested person to get together with you.

Edited December 19, 2014 by MissBee

[Gloria25]

 

But in any case, if someone I am into comes along, I don't care about the timing! If I like a man then I make time for him. So if a woman says she has NO TIME for you in between November and January, it's because she doesn't like you. Thanksgiving is one day and maybe a day or a couple of prep, likewise so is Christmas, NYE, Christmas Eve. When you subtract the days of the holiday and any prep days there are still MANY more days and times left for an interested person to get together with you.

 

Well, IMO, it's not just the amount of available days you have to try to bond with them before interest fizzles, and, trying not to become someone's "cuddle buddy" to keep them warm in the winter...

 

It's also "how" to fit them in with the holidays. I mean, you gotta probably get them a Xmas gift that isn't too expensive/intimate - while showing you're interested. Then, I don't wanna just bring "anybody" around my family for the holidays. When you just meet someone, maybe you can bring them to a casual family barbecue, but IMO, not a holiday dinner.

[todreaminblue]

I think you may be on to something.......dating around xmas time unless you are already established is hard....its a really stressful time of year.....if you are a multi tasker i guess you would handle it....it is a bit off putting even thinking about dating for me right now....i have this rising panic about xmas about this time...i am not going to get everything done.probably because i am about to go out and face the masses...hoping its not masses...yep anxiety..so i agree christmas is for celebrating old i feel...rather than the start of something new....

 

 

i had a first kiss on new years once ...we actually didnt get together until mid february......we were pretty inseparable though till the official yep your mine im yours talk......the kiss was rather awkward...lol...smilin...wasnt even sure it actually happened and no was not drinking........deb

[MissBee]

Well, IMO, it's not just the amount of available days you have to try to bond with them before interest fizzles, and, trying not to become someone's "cuddle buddy" to keep them warm in the winter...

 

It's also "how" to fit them in with the holidays. I mean, you gotta probably get them a Xmas gift that isn't too expensive/intimate - while showing you're interested. Then, I don't wanna just bring "anybody" around my family for the holidays. When you just meet someone, maybe you can bring them to a casual family barbecue, but IMO, not a holiday dinner.

 

It's up to your discretion. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.

 

In that particular relationship where we met in December it felt right to spend NYE together and he came to a family friend's Christmas party, it wasn't a dinner, it was a more casual party with lots of people. If I didn't feel comfortable I wouldn't have done it. But those things felt organic and natural. We did not get each other Christmas gifts, he spent Christmas with his family and his son and I spent it with mine and we simply called to wish each other a merry Christmas. It wasn't a big deal whatsoever.

 

I've started dating around Valentine's day, my birthday, their birthday and you handle it how you feel best. You are not required to give them a gift or bring them around your family if it feels weird. You play it by ear and you also talk about it. Last bf, we started talking about a week and half before my birthday, I was having a big party, I didn't invite him though since we just started dating and I didn't want to have to be worried about paying attention to him, introducing him and all that at my party when he'd know no one. He understood. He certainly wasn't required to buy me a present. A birthday text sufficed. I also started dating someone about a week before Valentine's day, he was anxious about it and we talked about it and decided we did not have to get each other gifts or make it a big deal since we just went out twice. We did go out for dessert and drinks though that day, but it was a night where we'd have gone out anyway.

 

I'm not going to not accept a date with someone I genuinely am interested in because it's near a holiday. That seems silly IMO. We're all grown and can simply bring it up casually and decide how to proceed.

[Gloria25]

 

I'm not going to not accept a date with someone I genuinely am interested in because it's near a holiday. That seems silly IMO. We're all grown and can simply bring it up casually and decide how to proceed.

 

Oh, I'm not saying I'd turn down someone I may meet during the holidays and/or peak of summer - but I'm not going to be like actively pursuing someone to date.

 

But still, if I meet someone during the holidays and/or the peak of summer, I would proceed with caution.

[RedRobin]

I dunno. Can't say I ever put that much thought into 'when' I met someone or started dating.

 

 

I broke up with my BF about a month or so ago, and have been actively looking since then... but getting end of year work finished and now planning a trip to see my parents in FL and friends in India over my work break would make it tougher to actually establish anything.

 

 

Given my dating style though, it would be the perfect time to meet someone because I prefer to take things slow. Not being AS available and being preoccupied is the easiest way to make that happen.

 

 

I still love me some awesome Xmas parties, and do my best to get invited or invite myself to as many as possible no matter if I'm single or attached. No sense sitting around the house moping.

[Woggle]

I met my wife in the summer and my ex on Halloween so I would say the summer is a better time.

[Darren2013]

I actually feel like during the holiday season is when I'm more open to a relationship or am thinking about being with someone more. It's precisely because of the focus on family, togetherness, love, giving etc.

 

Two boyfriends ago, we got together in December. It was a great time. He was the first bf I spent NYE with and I actually brought him along to a pre-Christmas party at a family friend's house. While we didn't last we dated for a while and I think that's part of the reason why I still hold fond memories of Christmas time and New Years as a great time for being with someone. As when we first got together it was that whole magical time of new love and it made my Christmas season that much better and exciting and I still associate good romantic ideas with this time of year.

 

I also think there is something about winter for me that leads me to wanting to cuddle and be with someone.

 

But in any case, if someone I am into comes along, I don't care about the timing! If I like a man then I make time for him. So if a woman says she has NO TIME for you in between November and January, it's because she doesn't like you. Thanksgiving is one day and maybe a day or a couple of prep, likewise so is Christmas, NYE, Christmas Eve. When you subtract the days of the holiday and any prep days there are still MANY more days and times left for an interested person to get together with you.

 

 

On the contrary if a woman is too busy to see me this time of the year then that is compatible with me. It takes the pressure off of my shoulders to have to pencil her into my schedule. I'm too busy myself with dessert preparations and watching old Christmas movies from the 80s and 90s and playing Christmas carols. She may not be into the old movies like I am.

 

Furthermore I have a tendency to pig out around the holidays so it is not a good first impression to bring her over for thanksgiving or Christmas dinner as I don't want her to see me take more than 1 helping of food. This is the time of the year when I'm not in the mood to be all that concerned with counting calories. I want to have fun.

 

While I am still single this holiday season I can eat as much as I want and whatever I want without having to worry about what other women think about it.

 

After the new year it is better that she sees me because by then I have renewed motivation to improve my diet and exercise regimen.

Edited December 19, 2014 by Darren2013

[Ninjainpajamas]

I would say tis not the season to be frolicking...

 

As a guy, you're better off avoiding Christmas and Valentines Day when possible, as it can put an unnecessary amount of pressure to do something "special"...this is the "good" time to be single.

 

Then when Spring and Summer comes around, then you can start dating and exploring your options before you get put into that "serious season" mode...by then you'll have time to get to know her before having to do something "special" or family oriented.

 

Of course this is not a hard rule or anything, but for guys it's generally better to avoid these holidays while you can

[Darren2013]

Yeah I get to save my money until after the new year and not worry about buying her gifts. I'm stressed out enough as it is on getting family members and friends gifts. Now if I met someone who did not celebrate Christmas that might be an exception to the rule. I said might because I still have to deal with other issues mentioned earlier such as committing gluttony over the holidays and they see how much I am eating and get turned off.

[sillyanswer]

Like right now is the worst time of the year to ask a woman out on a date. It is middle of December and almost Christmas. Many folks are extremely busy this time of year with holiday preparations whether preparing food for family or buying gifts and last minute shopping, etc.

 

Overall I think you're over-analysing this situation although I broadly agree with you. One of the things that can easily kill things early on in dating is having long gaps between those crucial early dates and some people do have their social calendar fully booked around this time of year.