dl02 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Recently I posted a thread regarding a female co-worker. I've created a new one purely because I 'think' things have developed since. Previous post: There is a woman who I work with who recently has been acting odd near me. We work in opposite ends of the building (so I haven't seen much of her, as I have only worked there 4 months) but do occasionally have to work together. Firstly, around 3 months ago when we first met she passed me and smiled. I of course thought nothing of it. This occurred a few times. However, recently we've been seeing more of each other. I saw her looking at me from behind (reflection) and when I looked around, she quickly stopped looking and started playing with her hair, nervously looking away and avoiding eye contact. The largest give away was when I walked past her, said 'hello' (knowing she would look away) and tried to make eye contact. She blatantly looked away, staring at the wall and after a two second pause said 'hi' in an excited voice. Almost falling over. Yesterday, I almost walked into her and said sorry. She looked away, said nothing and started having a laughing fit. She then avoided entering the same room I was going in. I was also talking to the cleaner and she joined in but refused to look at or speak to me (is this a sign if disinterest as she didn't even acknowledge me)? Today, I was talking to her. She seemed fine briefly, smiled and looked down. I then (later) had another conversation. She smiled looked down and had an awkward look on her face (not smiling). Why was this? The thing is, she seems fine with everybody else (or at least better, as she is a nervous person). I know I could be intimidating her but I don't know why. I always smile and act friendly. Is this a sign of attraction? Why does she glance, look away and almost never make eye contact? __________________________________________________________________________ Now: Recently we've been working more closely with each other. Partially down to me wanting to get to know her better. The idea was to work on something with her, but we spent most of the time talking. 2 weeks ago I told her I wouldn't make it but she was adamant it could go ahead and moved the time back. Throughout the past 2 weeks these meetings have been common. She turned and asked where I lived (found out we live in the same town) and we got deep into a personal conversation. I was briefly talking to the cleaner in the same room, and said (it was relevant at the time) that I wasn't on Facebook. She turned and looked disappointed. She also asked me to the workplace Christmas party and looked sad when I told her I was unable to make it. She talks to me openly about her family (I explained my epilepsy and she stated her brother suffers). We also act happy together, smile and joke. She also seems to be going out of her way to see me more (*I could be wrong about this, but I am being phoned in the workplace by her 2x more often). She crashed her car (minor) and couldn't wait to tell me. She swears near me only and generally seems relaxed. She even told me that everyday I'm dressed smart and she dresses badly (Why would she say this?). She also offered me a lift to work every morning and joked 'she isn't stalking me' When passing her office I see her staring and glancing at a distance. I walked in a couple of days ago and was given a huge smile. She asks me if I have any plans for Christmas (this conversation lasted 30 minutes). She called me a 'nice guy' and always smiles and jokes with me. We sit and eat and talk about work and day to day life. She gets no work done and neither do I. She joked, "When this is finished, we're going to find something else because nobody talks to me!". She even got worried I was leaving. Here come the mixed signals - today I walked in to her office (she was busy) and told her I could make it and would be there. She didn't look overjoyed, but smiled and said great. I walked in and got the usual warm response. She also didn't reply to my email (though admittedly I didn't leave much room for a response). Occasionally, she seems in a rush to leave and said she was tired and in a rush to go home. She also mentioned a work meeting and said while it would be great to have me there, she'd rather I didn't go as I would be bored too (she laughed). Again, she asked me if I had Christmas plans and we chatted as per usual. In fact, we both walked out together laughing and joking. More than usual. It was almost like she wanted to continue it. She does still occasionally act shy but now makes full eye contact. Whenever she see's me she looks happy and shouts 'hello!'. Even when passing me. We laugh a lot together. Recently, I've been more 'playful' rather than just a 'nice guy' by challenging her and making light jokes. She has also been doing the same back again. She jokingly said 'I see why people call you miserable now' and winked. Can anybody make sense of this. I've given you a recollection of the events (a lot went on, so It's mostly what I can remember). Why would she act in this way or say the things she says?
Author dl02 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Posted December 17, 2014 She has also sent personal messages. Is she interested? How can I see more of her? 1
doeblin Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 You are overthinking this. Is she interested? How can I see more of her? You can do something, and this will give you an answer to both questions: Ask her out. Though dating a coworker has a special set of complications. 1
RachR88 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 At a guess, I assume that before you both started talking properly to one another she was naturally just a shy/awkward person (you said so yourself). From what you say, you both seem to get on really well and can laugh and joke together, you feel comfortable talking about personal things, so why not just ask her out for a drink after work some time? Or ask her out for a meal? She's probably not as shy now simply because she knows you better and you see each other regularly. The fact that you only ever meet up when work is involved may be giving off a sign that YOU'RE not interested in her and perhaps her new behaviour is because she is disappointed. Just casually ask her out, just the two of you. You've got nothing to lose! 1
todreaminblue Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 most shy women wait for the guy to ask her out......even though she is now comfortable with you,,,doesnt mean she wont wait for you to make a move....if she has seen you interact and talk to other females the same way she might think you are just being friendly....the risk you take...is she might just be being friendly too.....take the risk...make the move....solve the question and find the answer you want yourself...a way for you to know if the answer is positive ....is this....does she talk or behave that way with other males ??.....the same way she is with you......from what i read.....she told you no one talks to her now .....that might be true in the sense she doesnt talk to anyone else in particular other males but she talks to you.......deb
Author dl02 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 Thanks all Does it sound like she wants to be just friends? Along with the positive signs, why encourage me not to go to a meeting with her?
doeblin Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Can anyone answer this? 3 different people gave you the same answer. Ask her out. What are you waiting for? 1
Author dl02 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Posted December 22, 2014 3 different people gave you the same answer. Ask her out. What are you waiting for? I know. I wanted to know why she almost encouraged me not to go. There does seem to be a connection.
doeblin Posted December 22, 2014 Posted December 22, 2014 (edited) I know. I wanted to know why she almost encouraged me not to go. There does seem to be a connection. Have you talked to her since? Have you asked her out? Or are you still waiting for a bunch of strangers on the internet to delve into her mind? From what I've read there had been plenty of signs of interest from her part. The one who is giving mixed signals is YOU. Edited December 22, 2014 by doeblin
Author dl02 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Posted December 22, 2014 Have you talked to her since? Have you asked her out? Or are you still waiting for a bunch of strangers on the internet to delve into her mind? From what I've read there had been plenty of signs of interest from her part. The one who is giving mixed signals is YOU. No and no. Why? Because she mentioned she has a boyfriend.
Author dl02 Posted December 22, 2014 Author Posted December 22, 2014 I wasn't aware I was giving 'mixed signals'.
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