nolanola Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Why is it so hard to take my own advice? Seriously? One of the things that I like the most about this board is that you can read other people's stories and some of them are horrible. Not that I like that other people are having a horrible time, but that you can read what they are going through and think that you are not alone. I can always think of advice to give them, how to deal, how to not cave and contact their ex, all that stuff. Why is it so hard for me to take my own advice? I want so badly to feel better, to approach things in a healthier way, to not sit and obsess about things so much. I know I am making my family and friends crazy with my questions and freak-outs about everything. I guess I don't really even have a point to this thread other than feeling frustrated and wanting to not feel that way. Let me try to make it something positive: What is the best piece of advice you've ever gotten regarding either dealing with break-ups/heartbreak or regarding self improvement?
Athens58 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Think about all that you have going for you... what do you do for a living, do you have a place to stay? I found that thinking about what I have makes me feel better...Not long ago I was unemployed and virtually homeless after my separation, now I have a job/home/and am starting to get on my feet again. Having questions is not bad, I think anyone in our situations has those unanswered questions, I like to write those questions and come back to them later on; many times my mindset has changed within a few days. It's not that you want to read stories to see how bad they are to make you feel better about your problems, it's good to see how people handle rough times. Hope I shed a little light
Author nolanola Posted December 17, 2014 Author Posted December 17, 2014 Thank you Athens. I know I get a bit "woe is me" sometimes and focus on only myself and all my perceived problems. In truth, I am extremely fortunate in a lot of areas of my life. When I drive to work, I pass by an underpass where a lot of homeless people sleep and I always think how lucky I am to not only have a job, but a warm bed to go home too. I like the suggestion of writing out questions. I have been keeping a journal, but sometimes I worry that I get so fixated on my issues by writing in it multiple times a day. On the other hand, most of my friends and family are probably sick of hearing me talking about it, so I guess it's someway to get things out. Thanks for sharing your story - I'm glad to hear you are doing better. Stories like yours help a lot, because I think "If they can get through that awful situation, I can get through mine"
Itspointless Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Why is it so hard to take my own advice? Seriously? One of the things that I like the most about this board is that you can read other people's stories and some of them are horrible. Not that I like that other people are having a horrible time, but that you can read what they are going through and think that you are not alone. I can always think of advice to give them, how to deal, how to not cave and contact their ex, all that stuff. Why is it so hard for me to take my own advice? I want so badly to feel better, to approach things in a healthier way, to not sit and obsess about things so much. I know I am making my family and friends crazy with my questions and freak-outs about everything. I guess I don't really even have a point to this thread other than feeling frustrated and wanting to not feel that way. Let me try to make it something positive: What is the best piece of advice you've ever gotten regarding either dealing with break-ups/heartbreak or regarding self improvement? Sometimes our minds sees the logic of something, but that logic is something entirely different than the practice. You can read a book about how to swim but that doesn't teach you how to do it. Apart from that you are also detoxing as love is also something chemical. Our friends and family want to help but often feel frustrated as they can't fix our pain. They want their help (un)consciously have some kind of effect, while just listening or being there is the greatest gift of all. The best advice is I can give is, accept your pain, it is not something to be ashamed about. If you deny it, it will cause you pain or frustration at other moments. You need to go through it. Loveshack is in my opinion great not for seeing how others handle rough times, but for the affirmation that your pain is not and I repeat absolutely not something abnormal.
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