preraph Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Just as if not more important than what you wear is making sure you have a good haircut and your nails look neat. Wear what you think reflects your best you. That's a step up from your normal dress but not out of your area of reality.
doeblin Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Looking like an investment banker or lawyer is just fine if you are one. Generally, yes. But even Don Draper knows when to wear a simple shirt with a nice sweater. 2
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Generally, yes. But even Don Draper knows when to wear a simple shirt with a nice sweater. Sure but if you are coming straight from work, there's no reason to change. The OP was talking about specifically pressing his suit to dress to impress in a coffee shop, which is a bad move, like he's trying to hard.
Gloria25 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Sure but if you are coming straight from work, there's no reason to change. The OP was talking about specifically pressing his suit to dress to impress in a coffee shop, which is a bad move, like he's trying to hard. I beg to differ. He could bring a pair of jeans and change before he leaves work. Not that hard. We women do that all the time. My magazines always gives tips on things you can wear to work, but use for happy hour afterwards. Now, they may suggest you like wear a dress/suit thing where you can switch off the business jacket for something casual (i.e. a jeans jacket), change your earrings/shoes/lipstick/jewelry for the evening. Lol, but I dress so conservative at work, that when I'm doing something after work, trust me, they notice...lol.
Jules Dash Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Different strokes for different folks. As a woman a man in a suit & tie doesn't make me uncomfortable. I am surrounded by them all day. A man who showed up in jeans & a t-shirt would make me think he didn't care enough to even put on a button down. If a man who doesn't usually wear a suit & tie, showed up in a coffee shop in one, I'd wonder why & that would make me uncomfortable. Similarly if I was meeting a guy who did usually wear a suit & tie to work after business hours, but he showed up in a more casual outfit (not business casual) I'd wonder why he changed. Wardrobe needs to be a function of who the person is, where the date will take place and what time the date occurs. My first "date" or meet up is always some place light weight like a coffee shop or ice cream parlor and I always let the woman know I will wear a jeans and T-shirt to keep things very casual. Letting them know what I intend to wear also gives then the chance to avoid wearing a suit and tie and feeling overdressed when they see me. It is never a problem. 2
Gloria25 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 My first "date" or meet up is always some place light weight like a coffee shop or ice cream parlor and I always let the woman know I will wear a jeans and T-shirt to keep things very casual. Letting them know what I intend to wear also gives then the chance to avoid wearing a suit and tie and feeling overdressed when they see me. It is never a problem. Yes, I've done that - especially since I don't give out telephone numbers like I used to. I mean, they'll ask 'without your tel, how will I know who you are?' and I'm like 'I'll be wearing X, what about you?' 1
Jules Dash Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Yes, I've done that - especially since I don't give out telephone numbers like I used to. I mean, they'll ask 'without your tel, how will I know who you are?' and I'm like 'I'll be wearing X, what about you?' You know what, I just thought of a great idea to try at least once. When it is warm enough again where I live, I am going to wear some house slippers along with my jeans. Maybe they will have bunnies on them. It will be hilarious.
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 My first "date" or meet up is always some place light weight like a coffee shop or ice cream parlor and I always let the woman know I will wear a jeans and T-shirt to keep things very casual. Letting them know what I intend to wear also gives then the chance to avoid wearing a suit and tie and feeling overdressed when they see me. It is never a problem. That's called communication & it's a good thing. Not being on the same page about things & each side having unrealistic or unmet exceptions leads to a missed connection. If I was keeping my work clothes (usually a suit) on & you showed up in jeans it would be awkward. Gloria -- I think women do what you suggest often enough . .tweak an outfit to go from work to play or even bring different clothes. I don't think it's as common for men. The majority of men I have dated as an adult wear suits to work every day. I have never known one to take a change of clothes to work, unless he was going off to play sports or work out. I have known some who run home to change but no changing in the bathroom like we women sometimes do. for a 1st date, my experience has been that they show up in the suit & tie they had on all day. Ironically even when I was on OLD, I never had a causal coffee date. Every guy said some version of the following to me when arranging the 1st meet. I know OLD says we should meet for coffee or something but we're both traveling a bit to see each other & I'm going to be hungry. I'll be happy to treat for dinner & you can get it next time if there is a next time. If we don't make a "love connection" we'll talk about work & see if we can make each other money. I thought that was a prudent approach BTW, they all showed up in suit & tie. I get that my experience is way outside the norm.
preraph Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 I get that my experience is way outside the norm. I think it may be just a difference in where you live being more suity. We have suit and tie guys in Dallas, of course, but they usually can't wait to shed it. Don Draper (yum) is from the 60s. Back then, nearly everyone put on a suit to go to work and there were few women in the workplace still. It's a different atmosphere today, with few jobs being so formal that a suit and tie are required on a daily basis, though many jobs require it for client visits, etc. But I agree that if that is you and that is how you are dressed normally, that is how you should go to the coffee shop. Darren, on the other hand, need not misrepresent himself as a suit-and-tie guy. Most people should just be the best version of themselves for dates. Otherwise, you're kind of misrepresenting yourself. 2
elaine567 Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 It depends really on the suit as to whether it will look over dressed, out of place, desperate or cool. It is all about the material, the cut, the fit. Some suits have a casual vibe whereas others are purely business suits. If she is going to turn up in a t-shirt and jeans, then it may look a bit awkward, and make her feel under-dressed. Not conducive to a relaxed date. I suggest Darren ask her what she will be wearing first as other posters have mentioned.
Author Darren2013 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 As far as getting a haircut before the dates? Absolutely. Being clean cut should go without saying. Going bald is ideal. I shave my head and facial hair every 3 days. If I have a date coming up in between those 3 days then I shave the scalp once a day. I want to look like a Marine on the date.
Els Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 For example first date for me is ideally a coffee shop date like Starbucks. For that date I wear a suit and tie and shiny black shoes. You have GOT to be shytting me. Do you actually own a suit, Darren?
Diezel Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Remember to wear a suit and tie at a coffee shop on a Saturday. And please remember to bring a few extra copies of your resume to hand out as well.
todreaminblue Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 dress pants and a nice shirt is my suggestion nothing over the top...understated classics....differentiating from a meeting with friends where jeans and a white t shirt would suffice and look quite nice to eat rice...forget the rice part..jeans and a plain t shirt maybe if walking after.......deb
sillyanswer Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Now that we finished talking about special diets for dinner dates what are the recommended dress codes for a first date? I take more of the view that it is better to overdress than to underdress. For example first date for me is ideally a coffee shop date like Starbucks. For that date I wear a suit and tie and shiny black shoes. First date is basically a job interview. 30 minutes long and dress up in a suit and tie. Now later on after a few dates if I go bowling then I can relax the dress code a little and wear tennis shoes. Overdress rather than under dress is probably a good idea - you're there to impress after all - but that sounds like going too far for a coffee date in a big chain coffee shop. I think you need to improve the venue at the same time! If you wear a suit and tie day to day anyway then, for that sort of venue, you still need to lose the tie.
Author Darren2013 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 You have GOT to be shytting me. Do you actually own a suit, Darren? I own 3 suits. 1
GravityMan Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) You are overthinking this BIG TIME, Darren... Just as if not more important than what you wear is making sure you have a good haircut and your nails look neat. Wear what you think reflects your best you. That's a step up from your normal dress but not out of your area of reality. preraph is 100% right, especially the bolded. Most people have a sense of personal style and have certain dress preferences that they feel comfortable and confident with. Roll with that while still making sure your outfit is appropriate for the season, occasion or venue. The only time it seems appropriate to wear a S&T to a coffee shop is with donnivain's example - when you're just getting off work and don't have time to change. For guys, the most important thing to looking nice is PROPER FIT. Make sure your shirt and pants fit right. (And to state the obvious, clothes should be clean, pressed and not tattered.) Looking nice and presentable matters, but so is looking like and being yourself. Don't come across as a poser who tries too hard to impress. The woman should get an idea of who you really are. It's a date where you want to have fun, not a job interview. As for me, I think a good suit-n-tie looks great on me and I own several pairs. However I only break out the S&T like 2 or 3 times a year for special occasions, and once the occasion is over and I'm in my car heading home (or to some unofficial after party), off comes the suit and tie, and I unbutton the top button of my dress shirt. For a coffee shop date or lunch date, I'd probably wear a nice button-down (no tie), a nice polo, or a sweater with nice patterns (if it's cold)...along with matching pants or maybe dark jeans (I'd lean towards khakis or slacks), and black/brown casual oxfords. And a jacket if it's cold. The shirt may have colors/patterns to reflect my personal tastes, but nothing too loud. Overall nice, but not over the top. Edited December 18, 2014 by GravityMan
Gloria25 Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 (edited) As far as getting a haircut before the dates? Absolutely. Being clean cut should go without saying. Going bald is ideal. I shave my head and facial hair every 3 days. If I have a date coming up in between those 3 days then I shave the scalp once a day. I want to look like a Marine on the date. Please do not shave your head.... Not to sound mean, but after being in the military, I grew tired of men with no hair and/or that little "strip" of hair certain guys preferred to have (usually Rangers). http://hair-and-makeup-artist.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/High-and-tight-hair.jpg See the guy yelling at the guy ^^ on the ground? I just hate that little strip of hair some guys do. I mean, in combat you gotta wear certain headgear and hair gets in the way - also, if going hand-to-hand combat, you don't want some guy taking you down by the hair, but gosh, why that little horrible little strip of hair? For that, just shave it all off. While since the military I've dated guys who had the "shaved" look, I'd prefer they not shave it (well unless your balding hair looks really bad on you). I could care less if he shaves and/or has a hair cut on any date - unless I was going to something formal with him. But, at the same time, please don't show up or let yourself go to look like this: http://img2-1.timeinc.net/ew/i/2012/11/27/brad-pitt-beard.jpg As you can see ^^ he desperately needed some grooming. And, while some say Brad Pitt is good looking, no matter how "good looking" you are, that "look" he was sporting makes you freakin' ugly to me. Edited December 18, 2014 by Gloria25
Phoe Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 I personally wear nice jeans and a sweater, and every guy I dated wore jeans and a t shirt. Anything more is overkill, IMO. unless you're going to the fanciest joint in town. In which case, THAT is overkill for a first date, IMO. Just dress normally, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant. That's all that's needed.
Author Darren2013 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Posted December 18, 2014 I personally wear nice jeans and a sweater, and every guy I dated wore jeans and a t shirt. Anything more is overkill, IMO. unless you're going to the fanciest joint in town. In which case, THAT is overkill for a first date, IMO. Just dress normally, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant. That's all that's needed. Well brushing and flossing teeth goes without saying. That's something everybody should be doing anyway even if they never go out in public and live like hermits. If for no other reason no one wants to be faced with a huge dental repair bill such as root canal. 1
Phoe Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Well brushing and flossing teeth goes without saying. That's something everybody should be doing anyway even if they never go out in public and live like hermits. If for no other reason no one wants to be faced with a huge dental repair bill such as root canal. It doesn't go without saying, because there are a LOT of people in the world that don't bother with proper hygiene. So many people would have a better time getting dates if they'd just properly shower, brush their teeth, and put on deodorant 2
me85 Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 Sexy, but not too sexy. I don't dress slutty. I'm not one to show too much skin. Don't get it twisted though, I'm hot!
Gloria25 Posted December 18, 2014 Posted December 18, 2014 It doesn't go without saying, because there are a LOT of people in the world that don't bother with proper hygiene. So many people would have a better time getting dates if they'd just properly shower, brush their teeth, and put on deodorant Oh gosh, they are out there... When I was in the military, I remember two occasions. One, was a kid who didn't brush his teeth so bad that you could see the crust around his teeth. Believe it or not, he got a gf and OMG, he didn't start brushing and/or get at least a teeth cleaning. You'd see them walking around the barracks holding hands and stuff...so, you KNOW they were kissing Then, one time in training, we were just like sitting around waiting for the trainers to send us somewhere and OMG, this guy smelled BAD...Like no shower. Now, I know we have times we can't shower, but this was a time we had time to shower. Well, this chick and him couldn't keep their hands off each other. Maybe it was his "scent" that got her?
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