Kadie Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Sunday morning my bf and I was talking via Kik, about me falling alseep early the previous night and not being able to respond to his message (it was just "hey"). He thinks that I was lying about falling alseep and that I went out or something (paranoid? I know). I assured him that I fell alseep and he reluctantly said ok, shortly after he got angry saying that I was replying to slow and that he is going to leave the conversation. He did. I sent the message I was typing at the moment anyway and he read it but didnt respond to it or say anything for that matter. I decided to not message him again since he blatantly ignored me for something so trivial. What do you think? Was I wrong? And what should be my next step?
doeblin Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 paranoid You did nothing wrong, as far as I can tell. Talk to him about how you feel about his neediness. A healthy relationship is based on trust. It's a truism. If he sticks to this kind of behavior, you might need to split. This anger & insecurity would poison any relationship. What good qualities does he have?
GemmaUK Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 You didn't do anything wrong. He sounds insecure. Is he usually like this?
Author Kadie Posted December 17, 2014 Author Posted December 17, 2014 GemmaUK, he is usually like this and its annoying. He wants to get to the bottom of what went on the night I fell asleep, he wants us to discuss it, for me to explain to him. I dont think theres anything to discuss or explain about me falling asleep. doeblin, He says its not that he doesnt trust me but he doesnt trust other men around me. He has a couple good qualities; hes a good listener, he would usually find out about my day (idk if hes concerned or just wants to know everything), hes supportive etc.
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 I think that any electronic communication: e-mail, AIM, FB, Snapchat, KIK, IM, text etc are fundamentally flawed. Those flaws are the source of your problems. Pick up the phone. Use the voice feature. Problem solved.
PegNosePete Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 He says its not that he doesnt trust me but he doesnt trust other men around me. This old phrase is often rolled out but if you think about it, it makes no sense. If he trusts you, then he would trust you to say NO to any other guy that hits on you.If he thinks another man can steal you away, then he doesn't trust you to say NO when faced with temptation. The fact is, anyone who uses this line does not trust their partner to say no. He sounds highly insecure and immature. 3
evanescentworld Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 I was about to respond in much the same way as PegNosePete has. He's insecure, jealous, possessive and frankly, downright rude. I'd ignore him. But if I really wanted to deal with this once and for all, I'd make it a permanent 'ignore'....and I DO mean, permanent.
preraph Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 If you're thinking long-term, then he needs to deal with his problem of insecurity with a professional. Being married to someone who monitors and suspects your every move is NO KIND OF LIFE and not the right atmosphere to bring children into. Projecting forward, if you had kids and then got fed up and divorced, he'd be the guy telling your kids "You mom cheated on me" and poisoning them against you. Short-term, enjoy it as long as you can; but long-term, to me that's a dealbreaker. He'd have to get professional help and maybe him understanding why he's that way would make him control himself more.
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