Going back to OLD

[kolleamm]

I don't even know where to start. I cut out OLD out of my life for about a month now and have basically come to the conclusion that it's no different than real life, the only difference being the smaller selection of people in the real world within ones social environment.

Looking back however taking a break from OLD has helped me acquire a few good hobbies since I did have more time to focus on myself and other things

besides trying to get laid.

Well with that being said I think I've saved up enough self esteem to play black jack again in Vegas (okcupid)

[JuneJulySeptember]

I don't even know where to start. I cut out OLD out of my life for about a month now and have basically come to the conclusion that it's no different than real life, the only difference being the smaller selection of people in the real world within ones social environment.

Looking back however taking a break from OLD has helped me acquire a few good hobbies since I did have more time to focus on myself and other things

besides trying to get laid.

Well with that being said I think I've saved up enough self esteem to play black jack again in Vegas (okcupid)

 

Good luck man.

 

I'm online now just looking at a sea of profiles and just anticipating zero responses. And if I do message a woman who has absolute desperation in her profile (I have seen I think 2 or 3), we have nothing in common and where does that leave me in the long run?

 

It's been quite demoralizing, but I'll stick with it I guess.

[Danda]

You can try to have fun with it. Sometimes when I'm browsing OLD profiles I pretend I'm putting together different teams, like a world domination minion team, or a post-apocalyptic survival team. So in addition to scanning for possible compatibility, I also assess the likelihood that the person would survive a zombie outbreak, or how long they'd last, or what they might do based on clues from their profiles and stuff in the background of their selfies.

[kolleamm]

Good luck man.

 

I'm online now just looking at a sea of profiles and just anticipating zero responses. And if I do message a woman who has absolute desperation in her profile (I have seen I think 2 or 3), we have nothing in common and where does that leave me in the long run?

 

It's been quite demoralizing, but I'll stick with it I guess.

Well as long as it's not the only thing we are doing with our lives I think we should be ok. I've been on and off these sites for years and I don't have any expectations from them. It's just one of those things like buying lottery tickets, it's fun to play but realistically you know the odds are stacked high against you, but hey it does give you some hope no matter what and gets you out of that "this is impossible" mindset, and changes it to "improbable" instead, which is far better but far from great.

 

Thanks for the luck

[Frank2thepoint]

The benefit of OLD is you get to view a selection of people that are ostensibly compatible to you (interests, values, astrological signs, or whatever floats your boat), but it is missing the human element. It is hard to get your personality across, even with a lively and witty profile.

 

The benefit of meeting people in the real world (aka offline) is you get to convey your personality to a person, hopefully impress them with your wit and charm. It is easier to create rapport in person than over the Internet. This is why there are stories of people (mostly men chasing women) about seeing someone from OLD that never responded to them, but saw them in person, struck up a conversation and actually got a date or three.

 

OLD should be a supplemental tool for real life, not a crutch. Also you shouldn't take OLD seriously at all. Think of it as inconsequential activity, such as brushing your teeth or tying your shoe laces. Work it into a daily or every other day routine, and let its importance fade to the background. Your main focus should be trying to connect with a person in real life.

[JuneJulySeptember]

The benefit of OLD is you get to view a selection of people that are ostensibly compatible to you (interests, values, astrological signs, or whatever floats your boat), but it is missing the human element. It is hard to get your personality across, even with a lively and witty profile.

 

The benefit of meeting people in the real world (aka offline) is you get to convey your personality to a person, hopefully impress them with your wit and charm. It is easier to create rapport in person than over the Internet. This is why there are stories of people (mostly men chasing women) about seeing someone from OLD that never responded to them, but saw them in person, struck up a conversation and actually got a date or three.

 

OLD should be a supplemental tool for real life, not a crutch. Also you shouldn't take OLD seriously at all. Think of it as inconsequential activity, such as brushing your teeth or tying your shoe laces. Work it into a daily or every other day routine, and let its importance fade to the background. Your main focus should be trying to connect with a person in real life.

 

This is true and good advice.

 

The only problem is when you get older, your ability to meet people through regular activity intervals decreases significantly. Any kind of people, but single people especially.

 

If you are a young guy, I suggest you get on the ball NOW and really start proactively trying to meet as many women as possible. I admittedly was somewhat passive about the process in my 20s, and it's really costing me.

[DivorcedDad123]

The benefit of online dating is that everyone is looking for someone. In the real world, you never know if someone's already dating, married(unless they have a ring), not interested in dating,etc.,,

Go in with the mindset that the women you're contacting are interested in a relationship,fwb, or dating. ALL of them are open to something. You're just narrowing the field.

[Frank2thepoint]

This is true and good advice.

 

The only problem is when you get older, your ability to meet people through regular activity intervals decreases significantly. Any kind of people, but single people especially.

 

If you are a young guy, I suggest you get on the ball NOW and really start proactively trying to meet as many women as possible. I admittedly was somewhat passive about the process in my 20s, and it's really costing me.

 

I agree that it gets a little more challenging to meet and connect with people as you get older, it's still not an impossibility. After your 20s, hopefully you have a little more wisdom in choosing a better partner, as opposed just someone that looks good. There are a lot of people single in their 30s and beyond. Not everyone gets married. Some people have bad luck being in a LTR that doesn't progress to marriage. Some get married, but unfortunately it doesn't last, so they divorce, even without having kids.

 

The challenge of finding someone past the innocence of the 20s is if that someone doesn't have such a huge chip on their shoulders, that views all relationships negative as a whole. For example, I've met and dated women that had bad past experiences with relationships. They shamble around viewing relationships (and consequently men) as negative. I don't blame them entirely, because that's their experience. But I do blame them for letting one or few individuals sully their view, without staying positive and focusing on the fact that each person you meet is unique.