seabliss Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I am a woman in my early 20s and have met another man in his early 20s at my university who I am incredibly attracted to. We are both not looking for anything serious at all, just hookups at this point in our lives. From the moment we were about to hookup, he claimed that he was too tired to do anything 'big' and that he just wanted to play around. Of course I was not going to force him to do anything, so we just kissed. After a few hookups I realized that he was probably the least touchy-feely man that I have ever encountered. He touches me very little compared to other men have in the past. He, on the other hand, always has an erection and has no problems receiving oral sex. He could be selfish, even men who are selfish in bed are still touchy and affectionate when they have a naked woman in front of them. I suggested sex and he said that 'he is shy' and does not want to do it. This man is gorgeous, in his early 20s, and is very well-liked. I know that he is attracted to me (always asks for pics, etc) so I am not worried about that. He just does not seem like a sexual person but has no problem receiving oral (which is going to stop). Do you think this man could be gay or a virgin?
stillafool Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I think he doesn't want to stick his penis in you. He certainly has no problem with you putting your mouth on it and him getting a release. WTF do you get out of this? If you are just looking for hookups why not get a guy who can bring the heat? Why are you wasting your time with this one? 1
mammasita Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to have sex with you, THEN if you don't like the answer....ditch him. 1
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I am a woman in my early 20s and have met another man in his early 20s at my university who I am incredibly attracted to. We are both not looking for anything serious at all, just hookups at this point in our lives. From the moment we were about to hookup, he claimed that he was too tired to do anything 'big' and that he just wanted to play around. Of course I was not going to force him to do anything, so we just kissed. After a few hookups I realized that he was probably the least touchy-feely man that I have ever encountered. He touches me very little compared to other men have in the past. He, on the other hand, always has an erection and has no problems receiving oral sex. He could be selfish, even men who are selfish in bed are still touchy and affectionate when they have a naked woman in front of them. I suggested sex and he said that 'he is shy' and does not want to do it. This man is gorgeous, in his early 20s, and is very well-liked. I know that he is attracted to me (always asks for pics, etc) so I am not worried about that. He just does not seem like a sexual person but has no problem receiving oral (which is going to stop). Do you think this man could be gay or a virgin? Yes he sounds totally gay. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: No! If he was gay he wouldn't be kissing and touching you!! He certainly wouldn't want you to give him oral. He sounds shy and inexperienced. Maybe he is a virgin. Tell him that you want to have sex or you aren't going to give him oral anymore. You will have to take charge with him if you want anything to happen.
Silent_Shadow Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 (edited) He sounds like a virgin. If he was gay or confused about his orientation, it would be more obvious, yet he's still messing around with you but he obviously fears that if he has sex with someone he doesn't love it'll change him? Maybe... This is all speculation. Why not ask him? Since you're just after hookups and not looking for anything steady with him, you could be more blunt rather than subtle about inquiring if he's inexperienced or not. Also people are very different from one another, and have different varying levels of sex drives, he might have a lower sex drive compared to you. Next time you give him oral, ask for him to give oral on you first? Everyone seems so promiscuous and thirsty in this over sexualized society, that whenever we stumble across an individual who is more reserved and not the social norm, we often make assumptions and jump to conclusions about them rather than taking them aside and asking them in private what's their deal. You claim he's rather good looking, yet seems to have intimacy issues. Perhaps he's straight yet prefers fantasy and porn to the real act of sex? Regardless, just ask your fwb whatever is on your mind if it really bothers you. Make sure it's in private and don't look down upon him and make him embarrassed, try to decipher what his point of view could be by asking him questions. Edited December 16, 2014 by Silent_Shadow 1
PinkElephants Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 If he's able to keep an erection for oral but not sex it could be an emotional problem. Maybe he's not over an ex or there's another woman in the picture. Or he knows you'll satisfy him orally and visually without him having to do the work of having sex or showing you affection and he's being lazy because you allow it. Also, just because he's good looking doesn't mean he's down for sex. I have a friend who's a stunningly gorgeous male model and he gets frustrated with women coming up to him and basically demanding sex because they assume he wants to boink everything that walks. He'd actually like a conversation or a relationship but women won't take him seriously as anything but a one night stand because they think he's so good looking he'll cheat. Even hot guys have feelings
Jules Dash Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I have a friend who's a stunningly gorgeous male model and he gets frustrated with women coming up to him and basically demanding sex because they assume he wants to boink everything that walks. He'd actually like a conversation or a relationship but women won't take him seriously as anything but a one night stand because they think he's so good looking he'll cheat. Even hot guys have feelings Penelope? Just kidding.
Bellaisa Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to have sex with you, THEN if you don't like the answer....ditch him. Agreed! Only he knows what the issue is (and there is an issue!) You have to ask him, and if he is not willing to answer, then you have to get out or keeping going on the way you are going without worrying about it. Even if he is gorgeous, there will be another guy more willing to make you feel good too.
spiderowl Posted December 17, 2014 Posted December 17, 2014 He might look gorgeous but is he a nice person? It all sounds a bit one-sided at the moment. I'd certainly stop playing around if it isn't mutual. You could ask him why he doesn't want to do more. It could be he views women who do before marriage as 'easy' - who knows? Don't be blinded by his looks. Imagine if he looked average - would you be so tolerant of a one-sided relationship? What would you do in that case?
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