serarara Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I don't know what to do. We're long distance, but we do skype calls (video calls) every day and if we're not calling we're talking in chat. At first our relationship was awkward but as time went on we both warmed up to it and it seemed like my first good, healthy relationship. I'll even post pictures of myself to twitter and he'll retweet them, and we're both pretty public with the relationship. There's no signs that he's cheating, lying (about anything else) or anything bad. But. One day, I randomly got a skype request from this girl I do not know. I didn't accept because I didn't know her and I was scared. The message just was her introducing herself. She introduced herself, as a girl, told me her age (which is different from my boyfriend's age) and ended it off with saying she'd be happy if we could be friends. A couple days later, I ended up asking out my boyfriend and he said yes and we began dating....A couple more days later, the girl resent her skype request. This time with no message other than the default. I accepted her, but I got nervous because she hadn't said anything yet so I just blocked her. I didn't think anything of it until today, I don't wanna go into details but there was something which connected my boyfriend to "her". I looked on both of their profiles. The "girl" one says stuff like, she doesn't have a mic so she can't do calls, but it clearly says, that she's a girl, and then the rest of her posts are worded exactly word for word the same as my boyfriend's. Now, I have a couple of theories. Before we started dating, he was pretty embarrassed about some "girly" hobbies he has but I didn't think that they're really girly or weird at all, but a lot of people do so I was thinking maybe he's pretending to be a girl so he can talk about his hobbies easier. Then, I thought maybe he's mtf transgender. I'm absolutely terrified of girls, but I could try and get through this and deal with it to be with him. I don't know if I should just forget about this whole thing or ask him about it. I've never had a relationship where something like this didn't pop up. If it's not cheating, dating me out of pity, then with my luck something like this would pop up....
umirano Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I'm not sure I understand what your problem is. If you know he pretended to be someone else before you became official that should bother you. And you should bring it up with him now. And whether or not he's transgender you should ask him directly. There are all kinds of reason for creating fake accounts, this could be one of them. 1
Standard-Fare Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 My guess is that he was trying to use this "girl" character to get some sort of inside scoop on you in a different way than he can do on his own. Which, yes, is creepy. Honestly it were me I'd probably try to interact with the "girl" character to see if I could figure out the motives. I'm also getting the impression that you've never met this guy in person yet? If that's the case, maybe you wanna hold off on calling him your "boyfriend" until you do. Especially with someone who is clearly comfortable with online deception. 3
Gloria25 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Ever see Catfish on MTV? I don't think it's cool to do that to someone....You should see the hurt and disappointment on the people's face when they find out they've been Catfished.
Silent_Shadow Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 He's LDR and pretending to be a female?--Just dump him and find a better boyfriend, I mean what the hell are you doing wasting time with a liar? A relationship is supposed to be about trust, regardless of his reasons, he is not HONEST with you. Dump him and find someone more genuine. Yeah everyone has little secrets and skeletons in their closet and the past is the past, yet this is actually a rather big present lie and you need to utilize communication with him find out what the heck is going on lol. That's kind of messed up, a huge red flag dude. Confront him about if you wanna salvage your LDR or just breakup and find another good looking guy, one who isn't pretending to be a girl online... 2
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I'm absolutely terrified of girls... I've never had a relationship where something...didn't pop up. We get it.
somedude81 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I really wish threads about long distance relationships would would state whether they have met in person or not. If you haven't met, and he's pulling this junk, then find a real guy.
Standard-Fare Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I really wish threads about long distance relationships would would state whether they have met in person or not. If you haven't met, and he's pulling this junk, then find a real guy. Yeah. I'm continually confused/upset by these situations where two people say they're a couple or even in love when they haven't even met in person yet. How can anyone think that's not an ESSENTIAL step of the process before feelings get seriously involved? Also, it seems like people are deliberately choosing to make things complicated for themselves by seeking out these long-distance relationships with all sorts of barriers, rather than looking at realistic prospects in their own vicinity. But I guess that's why the show "Catfish" exists in the first place. 1
Gloria25 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 He's LDR and pretending to be a female?--Just dump him and find a better boyfriend, I mean what the hell are you doing wasting time with a liar? A relationship is supposed to be about trust, regardless of his reasons, he is not HONEST with you. Dump him and find someone more genuine. Yeah everyone has little secrets and skeletons in their closet and the past is the past, yet this is actually a rather big present lie and you need to utilize communication with him find out what the heck is going on lol. That's kind of messed up, a huge red flag dude. Confront him about if you wanna salvage your LDR or just breakup and find another good looking guy, one who isn't pretending to be a girl online... I don't know about that video...I know it was humor. I wanted to laugh, but at the same time it being a military situation - I could only imagine the horror in real life. Again, being Catfished blows....
Gloria25 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Yeah. I'm continually confused/upset by these situations where two people say they're a couple or even in love when they haven't even met in person yet. How can anyone think that's not an ESSENTIAL step of the process before feelings get seriously involved? Also, it seems like people are deliberately choosing to make things complicated for themselves by seeking out these long-distance relationships with all sorts of barriers, rather than looking at realistic prospects in their own vicinity. But I guess that's why the show "Catfish" exists in the first place. Well, I can see where you get duped cuz like in TalHotBlond, they set up fake Facebooks, send you photos that essentially make it look like you're talking to a real person. I mean, on one Catfish, a girl created another Facebook using the pics from a real chick. So, when the real chick updated her pics, she stole them and posted them to the fake Facebook page. I think the key is asking them to speak to you in realtime w/video ASAP (i.e. Skype, FaceTime, Messenger). I've never been Catfished when it comes to dating - specially OLD. I push to meet in person real quick when it comes to OLD. Now, chatting with people online that I have no romantic interest in, nah, I don't do videos and/or care to meet them in real life.
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