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Not a good sign if a woman does not let you do favors for her

Darren2013

By Darren2013,
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Darren2013

Darren2013

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One of the signs that a guy has a crush on a certain woman is that he is eager to do favors for her. In the last 4 months I have been eager to do favors for my crush. I would probably walk 10 miles for her if I had to.

 

Unfortunately in the last week when I offered to bring back some food for her on my breaks she says no thank you and that she already are something. Keep in mind that it is not like I am making a special trip for her. It is more along the lines that I check with her first on my way up the street to get my own lunch to see if she wants anything. She does thank me but declines for me to bring back anything. This has happened twice already.

 

Not to also mentioned she declined my offer to reimburse her for spilling her drink last month. So these are not good signs. What I'm doing by offering favors is the same as asking her out on a date in her mind and her declining the favors is her way of saying she is not interested in me.

 

When a woman really likes a guy she will gladly accept favors from him. When she doesn't then he is dead in the water. He has no chance with her.

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Standard-Fare

Standard-Fare

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Completely ignoring your crush on her for a sec: Why would you double-guess someone if they said they've already eaten and don't want more food? Or that they didn't want to be reimbursed for something tiny like a spilled drink? I think the vast majority of people in those situations would decline those offers, regardless of any romantic or flirty vibes in the air.

 

But it COULD become a problem if you get aggressive with offering favors to this girl, then get sulky or hurt when she turns you down. It would read like you're trying to play martyr to win her over (and using trivial situations to do so).

 

Just try to win her over in more genuine ways, like getting to know her more and flirting with her.

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Darren2013

Darren2013

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Completely ignoring your crush on her for a sec: Why would you double-guess someone if they said they've already eaten and don't want more food? Or that they didn't want to be reimbursed for something tiny like a spilled drink? I think the vast majority of people in those situations would decline those offers, regardless of any romantic or flirty vibes in the air.

 

But it COULD become a problem if you get aggressive with offering favors to this girl, then get sulky or hurt when she turns you down. It would read like you're trying to play martyr to win her over (and using trivial situations to do so).

 

Just try to win her over in more genuine ways, like getting to know her more and flirting with her.

 

 

Why would I see it as a bad sign? Because I decline her offers of food as a way to hide my high interest level in her. Unless some proof comes forth that she is interested in me then I think it is wise to hide my feelings from her and declining offers of food from her is one way to do that. So if she is doing the same thing declining favors then that's a bad sign.

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LoverOfDance

LoverOfDance

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Wow, this is not true at all. When I REALLY like a guy, I am more likely to decline favours from him. I am more like a do it myself kind of girl and I don't want the guy I like getting any ideas that I need him at all. I only want him to know that I want him.

 

The guy I like has a long term gf and during the first few months after he found out I liked him, he was eager to help me out with things. I always declined mostly because he has a gf but also because I like to do things myself and don't like to depend on ppl. I really hope he didn't take this as a rejection.

 

One day (and this happened just a few weeks ago) he randomly placed his hand on mine and after 5 secs I moved my hand because I felt uncomfortable but also because of his gf. Another day, we were having a conversation with a friend who was telling us an anecdote about something that happened in her office. He was standing in front of this friend listening to her and all of a sudden turned to face me. I sat in front of him for about 3 mins and then moved to stand somewhere else. 5 secs later he turns to face me again. His gf was also a part of the conversation, and 4 mins after he had turned to face me again, his gf got up to leave. I quickly followed her because I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. I still really like this man (and I think I maybe in love with him) but if he has any feelings at all for me, it is very possible that he thinks I don't like him back because I don't act like I do.

 

Don't be too quick to conclude, there are many reasons why a girl may not act like she likes you even if she does. Also, women are weird creatures. Sometimes we act like we want one thing when we actually want the other. To be honest, if you really want to find out whether she likes you or not, you have to be brave enough to ask her directly, or just ask her out. That's the only way you can get a clear answer.

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Gloria25

Gloria25

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When a woman has asks a guy out for coffee on work break and he declines, then she asks him out for wings after work and again he declines - I'm sure that at some point she's going to lose interest in him....

 

So, if he asks/tries to do "favors" for her. I'm sure she's going to pretty much be like "get lost, you can't even buy me a stick of gum at this point".

 

Ta, da!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny:

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Gloria25

Gloria25

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BTW, anyone still working on that Xmas cake?

 

I think either most office Xmas parties should be taking place this week - before people depart for the holidays.

 

Just curious here...

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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One of the signs that a guy has a crush on a certain woman is that he is eager to do favors for her. In the last 4 months I have been eager to do favors for my crush. I would probably walk 10 miles for her if I had to.

 

Unfortunately in the last week when I offered to bring back some food for her on my breaks she says no thank you and that she already are something. Keep in mind that it is not like I am making a special trip for her. It is more along the lines that I check with her first on my way up the street to get my own lunch to see if she wants anything. She does thank me but declines for me to bring back anything. This has happened twice already.

 

Not to also mentioned she declined my offer to reimburse her for spilling her drink last month. So these are not good signs. What I'm doing by offering favors is the same as asking her out on a date in her mind and her declining the favors is her way of saying she is not interested in me.

 

When a woman really likes a guy she will gladly accept favors from him. When she doesn't then he is dead in the water. He has no chance with her.

 

She might just dislike you or not find you attractive....

 

But Id never(and have never)acted the way you describe....And I have really never had any trouble attracting women, ever..Guys who do this look desperate, weak and give the impression that they need to try hard in these areas because of inadquacies in other areas.

 

I know, how can one criicise acts of kindness and generosity? And dont get me wrong, I am not saying its not a nice gesture on your part, or that these women are ingrateful b!tches, just that its not something I would do if I am trying to attract a woman.. its one of those things...No woman likes a guy that is burying his head up her ass all the time....Heck, women that do this to me, quite frankly, turn me off as well...

 

AS always...your results may vary...

 

TFY

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coolheadal

coolheadal

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Now that you have done these favors for her. Time to move on to the next level with her. Ask her out for lunch or see if she's interested in talking you when she's on her break. Need to talk to her and find out how it goes with you and her. Otherwise just barking up the wrong tree here.

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Danda

Danda

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You seem to be painfully over-analyzing stuff.

 

If you offer to bring her back some food and she declines a couple times, it very likely means that she didn't want any food at the moment.

 

If you are constantly trying to do stuff for her, then you might be creeping her out. Like how many favors a day are we talking here? If it's more than 1 or 2 then you might want to chill it a bit.

 

Some women will be skeptical of heavy, random niceness from a guy if there is no depth to the interactions, like genuine conversation and getting to know each other. It comes across like the guy is trying to earn sex with a crap-ton of niceness, without actually caring about who she is or anything.

 

Like I'd figure that if you were getting to know her well and a connection was forming, then you wouldn't need to be over-analyzing this stuff to death because you'd know her personality at least well enough to feel her out instead of wondering, "What does it mean when I ask her if she needs more staples and she says no?!"

 

Try to just relax and have more conversation.

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Gloria25

Gloria25

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When a woman has asks a guy out for coffee on work break and he declines, then she asks him out for wings after work and again he declines - I'm sure that at some point she's going to lose interest in him....

 

So, if he asks/tries to do "favors" for her. I'm sure she's going to pretty much be like "get lost, you can't even buy me a stick of gum at this point".

 

Ta, da!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

Not to take over this thread, but in hopes that the OP gets responses to best help, people, there is a bit more history here ^^ regarding this thread.

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central

central

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IMO, wanting to do favors is a beta male or "nice guy" approach. It is often seen as trying to buy her favor with favors, and as such is a turn-off. Once you're IN a relationship, doing some favors or thoughtful things for each other is a good thing, but not with any expectations or hidden contract.

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Darren2013

Darren2013

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It is not like I plan to buy her flowers or anything expensive. While in a relationship of course I would do favors but those favors would be even more expensive than just a 2 minute walk across the street to get food. But as I said even the 2 minute walk to get food does not really count as a favor because it isn't a special trip for her. I just happen to be on my way over there to get something for myself. It saves her time from having to make that trip if I am over there getting something for myself anyway. Those kind of small favors are offered once or twice a week. But again I don't make special trips for her.

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Standard-Fare

Standard-Fare

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Nothing wrong with doing favors for people, but you seem to have a specific romantic intent here (and no I don't have the history) ... so yes, there is a point where that can seem pushy.

 

It's like you're trying to force yourself into this chivalrous savior role that she hasn't asked for/doesn't need. And if you keep going with that even after she's declined a few times, it's going to seem aggressive. There are much better ways to try to get to know her.

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organizedchaos

organizedchaos

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It is not like I plan to buy her flowers or anything expensive. While in a relationship of course I would do favors but those favors would be even more expensive than just a 2 minute walk across the street to get food. But as I said even the 2 minute walk to get food does not really count as a favor because it isn't a special trip for her. I just happen to be on my way over there to get something for myself. It saves her time from having to make that trip if I am over there getting something for myself anyway. Those kind of small favors are offered once or twice a week. But again I don't make special trips for her.

 

Doesn't matter. Still makes you look desperate and weak.

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Darren2013

Darren2013

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Doesn't matter. Still makes you look desperate and weak.

 

It would only look desperate if I made a special trip just for her only to come back with nothing for myself.

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organizedchaos

organizedchaos

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It would only look desperate if I made a special trip just for her only to come back with nothing for myself.

 

If you say so. Keep at it then.

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evanescentworld

evanescentworld

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The entertainment value in such behaviour is an education in itself.

It's so enthralling reading Darren's threads. I always remain mystified....

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