GregJ1980 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 So I met this really terrific woman through friends. Asked her out for happy hour on our first date and we had such a good time, we ended up continuing the date over Italian food and a bottle of wine. After the date, she texted me that she had a great time. I called her the next night and we chatted on the phone and I invited her out for live music and dancing. We had a very nice kiss after that date. In fact, she kissed me first. Third date we went to an amusement park. Had a fantastic time and we were really starting to connect. At the end of that date, another nice kiss and she texted me as soon as I dropped her off that I made her very happy and that she had a wonderful time with me. After three dates, we were both busy with work so we didn't see each other again for seven days. I took her out for a nice dinner and then a movie afterwards. During the dinner, things were kinda quiet. She wasn't talking that much and I was doing most of the talking and then pausing and she had nothing to say. I would ask her open-ended questions and she would give me short 1 sentence answers and that was it. During the movie, we held hands and still had a nice kiss at the end of the night but I could tell that she wasn't as affectionate and didn't seem to be having as good a time. Also, I could tell that night that things seemed different and I didn't know why. I didn't act or say or do anything that was rude or mean or anything like that. For the fifth date, I invited her over to my friend's house for a birthday party. I introduced her to all of the my friends and we had a good time. However, at the end of the night, I could tell she didn't look that happy. I didn't kiss her and she got in her car and took off. I didn't hear from her and so I let her have some space. I called her two days later and she didn't answer(which I had a feeling she wouldn't), and then sent her a text. Basically, I told her that I had fun with her but asked her what was going on and that she didn't seem all that happy and asked her if she wanted to continue to date me and inquired as to where things stood. She responded that she was sorry for not being more talkative and that she didn't think things were going to work out for us. I asked her why and she said that she didn't think there was a connection anymore or that the connection wasn't growing. What does that mean? Why did she go from being so interested to so cold so quickly and then basically tell me that she didn't want to ever see me again? Honestly, I clicked with her, the chemistry was good, we shared similar values and morals and I really liked her and she seemed to like me.... and then after a few weeks, she did a complete 180! It doesn't make sense. Also, one more thing to add... b/c we are on each other's facebooks and b/c of all of our mutual friends, I know she isn't dating anyone else so that can't be the reason. Thoughts anyone? Thanks!!
Diezel Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 You think that just because you are on each other's Fakebooks, it means she isn't dating anyone else? Don't be so naive. Look, something happened. It doesn't matter what. Whether she lost interest in those 7 days or not, it doesn't matter. YOU think you clicked, she obviously disagrees. We can't tell you what happened, only she knows that. All you can do is act based on the facts presented to you. And the truth of the matter is, she doesn't want to go out with you anymore. Time to move on. Also, as general advice, if you know that on Date #4 she is being lukewarm, don't make Date #5 one where you invite her to meet people you know.
bu2002 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Sometimes things just fizzle out and it happening on date #4 or #5 is common. My hunch is she didn't feel a whole lot when she kissed you and tried to give it a couple of dates to get to that place and just couldn't. She didn't miss out at all during the 7 day break you guys had and by the time the fourth date was set, she just wasn't engaged anymore. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's you have to spark or ignite her emotions.
Author GregJ1980 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 You think that just because you are on each other's Fakebooks, it means she isn't dating anyone else? Don't be so naive. Look, something happened. It doesn't matter what. Whether she lost interest in those 7 days or not, it doesn't matter. YOU think you clicked, she obviously disagrees. We can't tell you what happened, only she knows that. All you can do is act based on the facts presented to you. And the truth of the matter is, she doesn't want to go out with you anymore. Time to move on. Also, as general advice, if you know that on Date #4 she is being lukewarm, don't make Date #5 one where you invite her to meet people you know. Date #4&5 were a package deal. We had such an amazing connection on the first 3 dates, I invited her to a movie Friday night and the birthday party Saturday afternoon. I wasn't going to uninvite her to the party just be things didn't click the night before. Also, I do think we clicked because after our third date, she told me that I made her heart happy.
KatZee Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Sounds like someone from her past made a reappearance.
JuneJulySeptember Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Sounds like she just didn't like you anymore. She liked some things about you, and gave you a chance, but in the end probably thought there were too many incompatibilities in your personalities. I, myself would have no problems if this kind of thing happened to me. Women typically reject after the first 15 minutes or even the first 5 seconds, so an elongated trial period such as what you had gives both parties the chance to 'try it out'. Depending on how many options she has, you are probably still on the radar, and you can push more if you really like her. There are so very many men that women have no attraction to that if you are at least able to win her attraction, you will always be on a relatively short list.
Author GregJ1980 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 Sounds like someone from her past made a reappearance. She is 33 years old and she told me she hasn't dated since she was in college.
FitChick Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 She wanted you to get more sexually aggressive. You kind of stalled out at a kiss. Women want to be wanted.
mortensorchid Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 I've been where you seem to be, as the woman that is. A few years ago I went out on a few lame dates with a guy I had met on Match. We had little to no sparks, he called a few times, we had about 4 or 5 dates (eating out), and then one day he never called again. I was like "Meh..." He was boring, and not boring as in "he was a nice guy who is more boring than the Bad Boy", he was just plain boring. I think she got bored with you and moved on, or she's dating others, or she's just not interested. It's sad when you feel that you had a connection with that person, but if it's not happening for one of you it will just die out a natural death. Time to move on.
Diezel Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Also, I do think we clicked because after our third date, she told me that I made her heart happy. Yes, I can tell that you made her heart happy. That's why this thread exists. I'm going to have to agree with FitChick on this. It's a combination of so many things. And do you honestly believe that she is 33 and hasn't dated since college? I'd believe that if she graduated at 32. Remember, she also told you that you made her heart happy, and this thread exists.
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