Cheerbabe93 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Alright I need some advice and different opinions. I met this guy about 3-4 weeks ago in a coffee shop and we started talking and exchanged numbers. Ever since that day we have been texting all day every day. We are both in causal relationships with other people though but we told each other about it. Anyways a few days after we met we started having sex. It was pretty romantic actually, he put candles everywhere and really focused on me. During the week we see each other about 3 or 4 times but we don't just meet up for sex. We go on little coffee dates as well or just walk around in the city. We also talk a lot. After we have sex he always wants to hold me and he usually kisses me on my head a bunch of times while he's holding me. Not sure if that means anything. When we take the bus to get around in the city we sit next to each other and he always rests his knee against mine. We don't hold hands though but he doesn't let me walk on the side of the road. And he calls me pet names I know we didn't meet too long ago but I really like him and I am just a little confused if he is falling for me too… I'm in my 20's and he is in his 30's by the way
Lernaean_Hydra Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Is this the NBA player now or someone else?
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 Is this the NBA player now or someone else? Yea same guy
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 No he's not falling for you.... *sigh* cheerleaders...rarely are as smart as they are pretty 2
Zahara Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Cheerbabe, guys can charm the pants off you and they can enjoy and breeze through the "honeymoon" and the high of being with someone that offers company, sex, fun times, etc., it doesn't necessarily mean they have feelings. My ex used to write me love notes and make cards for me ever so often, hold my hand while slept but *sigh*...he was cheating. I read your past thread about this guy. Not good. I think you're trying to grasp at straws.
Danda Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 It's not normal for someone to start having sex with you after a few days and also be texting you all day every day. I already tried to explain to you what "love bombing" is but you seem to be riding the denial train in full force right now. I would bet dollars to doughnuts that it won't be very long before he starts pulling away or drops you completely. Constantly texting you like that while using you for sex, conditions you to grow to rely on that constant validation to feel 'okay'. Then when they start pulling back, it will likely send you into a state of panic and depression (ultimately desperation). It's not that you are incapable of being loved. That is far, far from the truth. However, someone is not capable of loving you after only having known you for such a short time and with all of these red flags everywhere (based on your other thread, not just this one). Maybe make a small deal with yourself? Let's say we are all wrong and everything turns out wonderfully. That will be awesome. But let's say we are all correct and he starts pulling away or getting really disrespectful. You should know that you can come back here and face the facts with support from us. Denial is often fear-based but you don't need to be afraid to admit that you were fooled if it starts getting ugly. All you need to fear for is your own well-being. So please make a deal with yourself that if things start going downhill, you won't keep your head in the sand but rather you will face reality and of course be welcomed to come get support here. Okay?
mammasita Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Why are you guys riding the bus if he's an NBA player?
ascendotum Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Cheerbabe, guys can charm the pants off you and they can enjoy and breeze through the "honeymoon" and the high of being with someone that offers company, sex, fun times, etc., it doesn't necessarily mean they have feelings. My ex used to write me love notes and make cards for me ever so often, hold my hand while slept but *sigh*...he was cheating. I read your past thread about this guy. Not good. I think you're trying to grasp at straws. Some guys are very careful about not giving the woman any sign of romance or bf behavior when it comes to FWB, others are fine giving the woman (and themselves) a more intimate experience and are fine dealing without the fallout that comes from the woman catching feelings for him. This guy's a pro athlete, and this coffee shop pickup and sex a few days later is probably deja vu numerous time for him. Knowing the OP is seeing another guy + he told her straight up that he is seeing another woman to hose down her expectations of a relationship, provides a safer scenario for him to get more intimate. I doubt this is kismet. Well who knows but wait and see if he's still turning on the charm by end of winter
MidwestUSA Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 He's not falling for you, he's just really good at his game.
irresolute Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Without too much thinking, I'd say it's you who's falling for him. Not the other way around. I hope your story is different, but fwb are just that: woman who are used just for sex. If you want more details, please read some of my threads. I have a loong story that unfortunately did not end well... Oh it's not a surprise
snowflakes88 Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Is this the NBA player now or someone else? How on earth does an NBA player have time to hang out 3-4 times a week?
cif Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 He's not NBA.. Just a local team. Know what OP, if you're happy just keep enjoying yourself.
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 Why are you guys riding the bus if he's an NBA player? He currently lives here in Europe and has been playing for the same team here for years. So he's not on an NBA team at the moment. He goes home every summer tho but he didn't bring any of his cars with him. That's why we take the bus.
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 How on earth does an NBA player have time to hang out 3-4 times a week? He's not on an NBA team right now but he does had practice 4 times a week at nights. We spend time during the day in my free periods or after school.
Diezel Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Without too much thinking, I'd say it's you who's falling for him. Not the other way around. I hope your story is different, but fwb are just that: woman who are used just for sex. If you want more details, please read some of my threads. I have a loong story that unfortunately did not end well... Oh it's not a surprise Hey now, there are plenty of threads about FWB where men are being used for sex. Let's be fair now.
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