WillLoveAgain Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I told my ex boyfriend how i was really feeling today, I poured my heart and soul into a letter. I took the risk to be emotionally vulnerable, hoping it will give me some relief. I didn't ask to get back together, the letter was just about me and my feelings. I was hoping that by being honest with myself and putting my emotions into writing that i will feel a sense of relief but it hasn't happened yet. I set my pride aside to place myself in a place of vulnerability but the tighness in my chest still remains. If the truth was suppose to set you free while do i still feel this way?
HurtGator Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I told my ex boyfriend how i was really feeling today, I poured my heart and soul into a letter. I took the risk to be emotionally vulnerable, hoping it will give me some relief. I didn't ask to get back together, the letter was just about me and my feelings. I was hoping that by being honest with myself and putting my emotions into writing that i will feel a sense of relief but it hasn't happened yet. I set my pride aside to place myself in a place of vulnerability but the tighness in my chest still remains. If the truth was suppose to set you free while do i still feel this way? Why did he break up with you?
Allumere Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I told my ex boyfriend how i was really feeling today, I poured my heart and soul into a letter. I took the risk to be emotionally vulnerable, hoping it will give me some relief. I didn't ask to get back together, the letter was just about me and my feelings. I was hoping that by being honest with myself and putting my emotions into writing that i will feel a sense of relief but it hasn't happened yet. I set my pride aside to place myself in a place of vulnerability but the tighness in my chest still remains. If the truth was suppose to set you free while do i still feel this way? Because it was done with expectation. If you did all these things just for you then when you sent it you would have felt....well peace, closure. Now what you are feeling is because you are waiting for the what next. Will he call, write me, understand? You are holding your breath now waiting.... You weren't using the truth for freedom, you were using it as a tool. 1
Author WillLoveAgain Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 Why did he break up with you? This is my story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/505662-i-need-some-male-perspective-updated
NopeNah Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Because it was done with expectation. If you did all these things just for you then when you sent it you would have felt....well peace, closure. Now what you are feeling is because you are waiting for the what next. Will he call, write me, understand? You are holding your breath now waiting.... You weren't using the truth for freedom, you were using it as a tool. This... You get free by really letting go,yourself.
Ronni_W Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 As difficult as it sometimes is, being honest about ourselves and our feelings, our likes and dislikes, is really more of a high-functioning personal skill, which also translates into a relationship skill. If we put a whole lot of other conditions around it; like, it requires the giving up of "pride", or means we somehow automatically make ourselves emotionally vulnerable, or we want/need/expect this or that particular kind of response...then that can be something to look at. I mean, our own fears about just telling other people about our Self. You showed courage in expressing your feelings - that's a good thing. But, as Allumere said, there cannot be any expectations attached. At the end of the day, it's either going to be well-received...or not. If not, it does NOT mean that you should have just kept repressing/suppressing your self-expression and letting your feelings fester. On the other side, the person to whom you sent the letter may be feeling all kind of things of his own: emotionally vulnerable himself, and/or blindsided (depending on length of relationship, how long you'd been bottling things up inside of you, how long since the break-up), and/or incompetent/inadequate/disinclined to deal with your feelings. I would offer...breathe love and other good feelings into that tightness in your chest. Love for your self, pride that you found the courage, understanding for yourself and your ex. Even forgiveness...for whomever needs it Hugs, and best. 1
Itspointless Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I told my ex boyfriend how i was really feeling today, I poured my heart and soul into a letter. I took the risk to be emotionally vulnerable, hoping it will give me some relief. I didn't ask to get back together, the letter was just about me and my feelings. I was hoping that by being honest with myself and putting my emotions into writing that i will feel a sense of relief but it hasn't happened yet. I set my pride aside to place myself in a place of vulnerability but the tighness in my chest still remains. If the truth was suppose to set you free while do i still feel this way?Because it was done with expectation. If you did all these things just for you then when you sent it you would have felt....well peace, closure. Now what you are feeling is because you are waiting for the what next. Will he call, write me, understand? You are holding your breath now waiting.... You weren't using the truth for freedom, you were using it as a tool. First and foremost I would say. If you are insecure about yourself than expressing yourself as you did can be really frighting as validation will not necessary come to you, even as small as a sign that the other lets you know that your message has been received (let alone understood). Being emotionally vulnerable does give people plenty opportunity to hurt us if we do not stand on firm ground first. Just sending your message into the ether and being vulnerable is not the magic recipe to free yourself, unfortunately. Usually this is followed with (un)conscious expectations as Allumere wrote, as we hope the other can compensate. Be proud that you did, but try to expect nothing.
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 it does set you free...the consequences can sting though, I wrote a letter to my ex, i told him i will always love him and i wanted him to know that through everything we had gone through....my love was constant and that i am able to move on that it was closure for me to tell him that......i wrote it from my heart with the intention not to get back together...but to move on .....and i did move on.......i believe the letter helped me to move on......and i can love again .....i have done just that...... i am happy being single i am open to meet the right guy for me...i dont feel tied to old love.....that love is there.....but it isnt where i want to go back too.....i feel free......i am friends with my exes.......i dont hold grudges...or unrequited feelings so i can be a friend to them.......i care about them and want to see them happy......and i really hope that they want the same for me.....they say they do.......so ill believe that truth is freedom...even when the truth is sad or painful....it sets you free.....deb 1
Jet Lag Posted December 19, 2014 Posted December 19, 2014 i am friends with my exes.......i dont hold grudges...or unrequited feelings so i can be a friend to them.......i care about them and want to see them happy......and i really hope that they want the same for me.....they say they do.......so ill believe that truth is freedom...even when the truth is sad or painful....it sets you free.....deb How do you not hold unrequited feelings?
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