Frank2thepoint Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 What did I do wrong? Please someone she'd some light for me. I have to disagree with some of the other posters claiming the guy was being a player. I think he has poor communication skills, and couldn't convey his feelings properly. Here's my take from your story. Both you and the guy didn't want anything serious. Both you and the guy had nascent feelings for each other, and were intimate. There was a lack of communication on either side, especially about putting a label on the casual fling, so you both opted for the safe route by not saying anything. Since you mentioned you wanted to keep your options open, he initially didn't want you go out with at least one guy, and he could have said something more that he wants a relationship, but he didn't. He spends a week probably sulking, unable to put his feelings out there, and the expectation that you would take the initiative with expressing your feelings first. The only thing he says, to make himself look unavailable and try to pull at your heartstrings, is he can't share his space and doesn't want a relationship. That's a typical dumb macho move. Or for the readers that believe in the alpha-beta male categorizing, it was the alpha male behavior. At this point, he isn't a player, but he does play games because he doesn't have the maturity to express his feelings. Him becoming angry with you for going out with the guy was a clear indicator of his feelings and inability to express them properly. The guy is extremely stubborn and emotionally immature. Hence why he is now looking for a serious relationship. You dodged a bullet, because he would of given you drama. But you need to learn to express yourself more clearly if you do genuinely like the guy you are seeing. The fallout of this could have been avoided, or at least minimized.
Frank2thepoint Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 My god! What should I do??? I REALLY like this guy and now feel like I did fail some sort of test! What was I supposed to do? Sit at home and knit for the week??? How do I fix this?? I really want to see him again! KatZee beat me to the punch, since my assessment in my previous post says the same. The guy is immature and unable to express himself properly. But you should have taken the initiative and told him that you wanted something more based on your feelings. You didn't know if he felt the same, but based on his questions about you seeing anyone else, it meant he liked you and wanted to be exclusive. But again, he didn't handle it properly. Neither of you did. You have two options. Leave it along and move on. Or put your feelings out there and tell him you want a relationship.
Author Scaatys2014 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Posted December 16, 2014 Thanks so much everyone. I truly appreciate all of the feedback. Being my first kick at the can in 12 years I feel like a total newbie again so you are helping me understand what I did wrong. For the record though, I did NOT freely give out info about dating anyone else. He asked all of the questions and I answered honestly. The fact that he happened to know guy #2 became almost a joke to him. He would ask me on a regular basis if guy #2 had texted me that day. If he did, I told him so. I won't lie. The OnLY reason I accepted a date with guy #2 was because guy #1 hadn't talked to me in almost a week!! He had time to post stuff on FB but not enough time to say "hi"! I thought his interest had faded. I reached out to see if he wanted to do something and he declined as he was busy. Like I said, mixed messages. He deletes his profile for me, doesn't want me to go out with guy #2 but yet doesn't have ANY time for me.....in a whole week?? Just seemed odd. I'm thinking he maybe just decided he wasn't interested after all, and me going out with guy #2 was a great excuse to say SEE YA! Guy #2 actually texted again......wonder if this is another "test" that will get back to guy #1 if I reply!!! Lol.....I have NO time for this stuff.....I'm too old.:confused
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