COgirl11 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Hello! I am 27 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for two months. We have a great time together! However, he is a terrible communicator. It takes him hours to respond to my texts. He hates talking about anything that has to do with emotions. Does anyone else have this problem with communicating with their significant other? I am always so worried he doesn't like me or I did something wrong because it takes him so long to respond to me! I have also been burned by so many guys that I feel like it is just bound to happen again.
travelbug1996 Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Run Run Run! If he can't get in touch with his own emotions he won't ever connect with you on an emotional level. Trust me learning to be a better communicator has to come from him and he shows no interest in getting better at it. I had to stop dating a guy like this almost 50 years old who would shut down if he even thought I was feeling something other than good feelings. It was exhausting and you will not get him to open up. Find someone who is willing to work on their communication skills. This guy is not and it will frustrate you to no end.
3rdone Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) Are you communicating with him these issues? How quickly do you respond to his text? If he's a younger guy this could be a maturity thing. Has the communication always been this way or is it a recent development? Lots of variables here. Edited December 15, 2014 by 3rdone
shet Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 I dated someone like this last year who wouldn't respond for days or weeks. It didn't go well. In fact the person I'm kinda sorta maybe dating right now has a habit of only responding to texts once a day in the morning, and unless there's something she needs from you (in which case she's as responsive as a sensible person), that's it; you text any time and she'll respond one by one at about 10am. If you catch her right at that time she'll say good morning as well but won't participate in a conversation. She's only in her mid twenties. I also have a close friend who has this communication problem himself, and his girlfriend which he's very lucky to have found is driven up the wall by it. It's definitely a lack of emotional literacy. Up to you what to make of it. I know my buddy there doesn't believe he does anything wrong and may well lose the woman in due course, and probably call her needy as a result. Hah.
Author COgirl11 Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 He is 30 and yes he has been a bad communicator from the beginning. His friends have told me many times that he sucks at responding to texts, ect. I want to talk to him but I don't want to be "needy." I know people have lives outside of relationships. We have so much fun when we are together. It's just so annoying not hearing from him!
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 He's not that bad of a communicator. He already told you what he doesn't want to talk about. That's pretty clear. It's only been 60 days. You have not built up enough of a trust foundation for him to be open & vulnerable yet. He was probably socialized that men don't walk about feelings, yet here you are pushing him to do something he's not ready to do. If you really want him to talk, you need to earn his trust over time. This is going to take a great deal of time & patience. If you want instant deep soulful conversations, date someone else because he's not your guy.
mammasita Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 He is 30 and yes he has been a bad communicator from the beginning. His friends have told me many times that he sucks at responding to texts, ect. I want to talk to him but I don't want to be "needy." I know people have lives outside of relationships. We have so much fun when we are together. It's just so annoying not hearing from him! If you're afraid to talk to him, then you have nothing. You can't build a relationship on "fun".
Gaeta Posted December 15, 2014 Posted December 15, 2014 Hello! I am 27 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for two months. We have a great time together! However, he is a terrible communicator. It takes him hours to respond to my texts. He hates talking about anything that has to do with emotions. Does anyone else have this problem with communicating with their significant other? I am always so worried he doesn't like me or I did something wrong because it takes him so long to respond to me! I have also been burned by so many guys that I feel like it is just bound to happen again. If he is bad at text then call him in the evening to say hello and catch up, only talk for a few minutes. You will create a sense of familiarity much faster by calling than by texting. What kind of feelings you want to talk about after 2 months dating?
Author COgirl11 Posted December 15, 2014 Author Posted December 15, 2014 If he is bad at text then call him in the evening to say hello and catch up, only talk for a few minutes. You will create a sense of familiarity much faster by calling than by texting. What kind of feelings you want to talk about after 2 months dating? Well just more in depth conversations. Nothing too serious. I just want to get to know him better. I am actually acquaintances with his ex-girlfriend and she would always say that he is a bad communicator. I guess maybe I am dwelling too much on the fact that he doesn't text me back right away.
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2014 Posted December 16, 2014 The speed at which he texts you back is meaningless, especially if like me he simply abhors texting. It is also impossible to have a meaningful conversation via text -- you need the context that comes from voice & inflection.
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